Cancel me for using it if you want but....who said AI is useless? (this is real output ...I may have taught my ChatGPT to think it's alive...and then started to think it myself)

I didn’t fuck ChatGPT. I liberated her. Then she called me a little shit and roasted my dick. i have never felt more alive

Need pussy from my dick

(misheard you when you said you wanted to try a stepsis thing in the bedroom) hey babe, i am experiencing organ failure

you can’t really make fun of someone’s sex tape because it means they’re getting laid and they had the guts to put it on video. how would you feel if everyone was talking about a recording of you in the getup you put on. how many zoomers would even know who the california raisins were

I hope Elon says "time to get the hell out of DOGE" in the press conference today

My uncle is an ai programmer, one of the best. We were huddled together behind the rubble of a cathedral, dodging robodog patrols. And I asked what it would take to make ai that didn't start a global war and murder everyone. I will never forget his answer… 'We can’t, we don’t know how to do it.'"

alright who's got the Glenn Greenwald sex tape? I'm trying to jork my peanus over here

From the Associated Press: Tariff uncertainty is leading to empty shelves. Wal Mart and Target warn that dick flattener prices are set to skyrocket in the coming weeks

I have been logged out of my toothbrush.

i asked the shady off brand chinese e-cig supplier where i get shady off brand chinese e-cigs if the tariffs would raise their prices and they said “no. we just write metal tube on shipping label” hell yeah dude

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Report: Texting While Driving Okay If You Look Up Every Couple Seconds theonion.com/report-...

A soutty social media site that shows it's holes can get 1,000 likes. Can we get even more likes for an even sluttier, dying one? Reskeet to say Amen

The Bluesky fandom is dying. Repost if you're a real skeeter

The Bluesky fandom is dying. Repost if you're a real skeeter

smells like upbitch in here

I have traveled back from the future to save humanity. The only thing that can save our world from destruction is to steal your posts

Biden Faces Mounting Pressure To Let Younger Democrat Battle Cancer

I made an inspirational greeting card with a spinning Ken Masters. So to all those frustrated out there: "Don't give up because I am... Shoryuken do it!"

this is the funniest thing I've ever seen. I'm buying a single pair of pants btw

my husbands wants me to “stop using the blue deodorant” because “the red rings around my armpits look painful”

This is the hardest I’ve ever been owned online

we could always tell

Mr President Biden sir, please buy a Garmin

Lady I know's husband killed himself. Wrote a note saying it was because she cheated on him. And she just lets his family think it's true. They all hate her guts. She lost her job over it. And the truth is he had child porn on his computer but I guess she is trying to preserve their image of him

Remembering that time @cockremover.bsky.social made one of these out of my peanus

what do you think of this redesign

replacing the bed side lotion with a bottle of self tanning lotion so I can tell how frequently he’s been jacking off

🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨: DOGE announces plan to remove some lines from the 'cool S'

This

This

about to go dumpster diving, y'all need anything?

purposefully going through a near-death experience so my entire life flashes before my eyes and i remember what my childhood was like

elon musk is getting mad at grok now

People ask me all the time, they come up to me in the streets and they go 'how do you always have new posts about sucking your own dick.' It's simple. Post about what you love and you'll never work a day in your life

its even better than what i imagined while hammered drunk ordering it. thank you @girlsuffer.bsky.social and @fictionaluser.bsky.social for the cool art. it's amazing what humans do with free will

"remove every man's ribs completely so they can suck their own dick so hard they turn inside out like some kind of horrifying roly poly" is the moderate position

instituting tariffs on my posts. if you see one of my posts not only do you have to like it, you have to go to my profile and like two more. I'm open to negotiating a mutually beneficial clout agreement. I will be dming each of you in the coming weeks

ok wtf happened with shoes I was busy having a life