Zombie Jesus Day

me: I’m gonna leave. I can see the writing on the wall boss: you wrote “it’s time for Mike to leave”

guys, bluesky is dying. if we don't start getting more likes, a greedy developer will bulldoze the site to put up a parking garage. the only thing that can save it is for a ragtag crew of misfits to put on one last big concert at the community center.

Y’all laugh, but I too have been transported to Waffle House across all time and space thanks to the grace and love of my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, in Athens, Georgia.

Lord love a duck

that’s fuckin right

This cat was very annoyed that it was snowing. #catsky

I refuse to believe that *everybody* was kung fu fighting.

DAVID BYRNE: Water dissolving! Water removing! ME: Oh yeah? DAVID BYRNE: There is water at the bottom of the ocean 🙂 ME: That’s so cool buddy. Did you learn that at school today? DAVID BYRNE: Remove the water 😡 carry the water 😡 ME: Hm how about we carry some juice in your sippy cup bud?

A mainstream press article that actually mentions that "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" is not very Mormon.

"Move, I'm gay"

two of the hardest things ever written are "face god and walk backwards into hell" and "you cannot kill me in a way that matters" one of them came from a tumblr shitpost and the other one came from a dril tweet about hollering at zoo animals the internet truly is a magical place

I don't know if y'all understand that "Idaho" is not a real thing that exists.

On this TDOV, please visit this link and tell the Mayor to make good on his fine words, fine Mt. Sinai and Langone for denying trans kids health care, and direct NYC Hospitals + Health to provide those kids care. gregpak.net/2026/03/27/t...

Once again, this site has a significant problem with people who cannot distinguish between "here is what the law is"/"here is what happened" and "I endorse that law/what happened."

I just put gas in the Mustang and it was $4.39/gal for mid-grade unleaded. A full dollar more than a few weeks ago.

This is Pulitzer shit right here.

Me at 20: I want to make a difference in the world Me at 40: maybe if I stand really still and never speak again, I won’t fuck anything else up

People just wanting to be entertained is not a bad thing.

"Art" is a Thing and its definition Matters.

hello 👋 i have developed a new tool called blüuümpíi. blüuümpíi will convert every file on your hard drive to a .wav file without asking you, maximize your system volume, and play them on every bluetooth speaker you have ever connected to. if you offer feedback on blüuümpíi i will take legal action

i asked a magic 8 ball if everything was going to be ok and it collapsed in on itself like a dying star is that good

Little Cat amid the dandelions. #catsky

I love how we can all come together in these dark times to hate on Duke.

I love how many people don't know the origin of this painting or what it actually depicts, which makes the bit that much funnier.

Shakespeare's plays are largely lowbrow, R-rated crowd-pleasers written to make money

wouldn't it be funny if EVERYONE blocked this Attie AI account @ bsky.app/profile/atti... before they could do anything with it

Can't hear/see the name Rahm Emanuel without thinking of this blessed image.

Unfortunately, for many of these folks, that's a badge of honor.

u can tell a lot about someone by their favorite flavor

Me: No kings! King In Yellow: (8 feet tall, lurching in corner of room) You talking about me? Me: Nah man, you’re cool

We're so fucked

Again, it's goddamn lectern - not a podium.

That was the stupidest drag race elimination in a decade! Absurdities.

Just watched the latest Drag Race episode and.....what the fuck

Ahahahahahahahaaaaaaa If there's one thing ornery Utahns of all political stripes don't care for, it's when politicians try to blatantly take away things they explicitly voted for and actually want.

Lots of folks give side-eye to being horny on main, but not to big accounts being prickly and sensitive about follower interactions. Just don't engage!

Here's your moment of zen: A "holy" cat named Coco stands at the entrance of a church in Mexico, seemingly blessing everyone who walks in 🐱

We've become so used to archaeological discovery these days that some may take this for granted, but the fact that we can directly view preserved fingerprints of human individuals that lived & died ~15,000 years in the past is pretty staggering. 👇🧪

watching a youtube video where they had to blur out adam's dick on the goddamned sistine chapel ceiling and thinking this is a great world the tech industry has built us huh

lol

Came out of the post office, saw that a guy had cut my saddle bag off my bike and was about to take off with it. I yelled "Please wait my cat's medicine is in there!" He started to run, and this grandma-age lady goes "SHE SAID HER CAT'S MEDICINE IS IN THERE" and WALLOPED him with her grocery bag.

*MOOD*

The Norwegian version of The Voice has ridiculously good vocalists. Like, far better than anyone on any American singing or talent competition show for *years* and they've been good for several seasons? This is just one audition from this year:

Doing my weekly grocery shopping and the app gave me the perfect reaction image for unsolicited dick pics

Kalshi this, Kalshi that. there are so many other superior cereals imo.

a lawyer blocking me for making jokes about art is *chef's kiss*