eating microplastics on purpose bc i dont want my body to decompose when i die

Watching an old muppet babies with my kid and nanny just told them she was going jogging and if they needed anything to open the window and yell for her That’s eight toddlers nanny No wonder Gen X is like that

THAT FINGER. NOOOOOOOO #ThePitt

Remember: When the recipe says two garlic cloves, naturally you use 10 or 12.

New reminder that Sam Altman is being sued by his younger sister for childhood SA, and everyone just acts like this is normal.

I know everyone on BlueSky is too young to remember this song, but there was a time not long ago when the US began a war in the Middle East. The real foe was a 3-woman country band who dared speak out. In their next album, those Chicks told the patriarchy to continue to fuck right off. Keep fighting

I hope they cast it better this year, and that the fans who ruined it last year find a new hobby.

The Strait of Hormuz is open for transit

i don’t know how this is supposed to work in terms of intelligence but whatever these guys do is taking stuff that is not theirs to take and then sell it for the highest possible price electricity water clean air knowledge you name it they should be treated like the common thieves they are

There are 3 fragments today, I found all of them. I don't like puzzles so this isn't my shit

My kid doesn't have access to YouTube at home. For plenty of good reasons. The Chromebook at school though? Of course. Of course she can access YouTube and look up stuff she's been told is inappropriate. Then WE get letters home. Get the Chromebooks out of the damn classroom.

My email is an endless stream of “upgrade to get access to—“ I don’t want it. I want to downgrade. I want to get less access. I want the opposite of what you’re selling.

my phone: we have installed this exciting new app with the latest update! me: great, now how do I uninstall / disable it?

Women’s health is more than reproduction, let’s talk about it. Watch today’s daily dose.

Hannah Spencer nailed it in her maiden speech, you can't have equality without solidarity. This International Women’s Day, we stand shoulder to shoulder with our trans siblings.

I just had to do my nightly skincare with a glove on my left hand. It was unpleasant.

Anyone else getting their ass kicked by depression this month?

I just realized that my partner is home on Arirang release day. 🤭

The doenjang guk that I almost cut the tip of my swearing finger off to make turned out amazing. I talked my partner through finishing it.

Parasocial weirdos in all fandoms really do need therapy. I have seen disturbing shit from people in more than one fandom across various genres of entertainment lately. If you know people in fandoms you are in who behave like that, please encourage them to get help.

i feel like if i was tasked with not starting a war and bringing back US manufacturing jobs, i could have done a better job than this

the stink of gender resentment coming off Silicon Valley has been obvious for a while. these men hate women because they hate being told no.

Certain members of that other boy group fan base that I am not in need to go roll in some grass. Like go roll down a grassy hill.

Perfect joke. No notes.

Colman Domingo wearing a silk suit on Hot Ones. Although silk is often used for cream dinner jackets, you rarely see it as a suit today. Silk suits, particularly in slubby Dupioni, were more popular in the 1920s and '60s. Makes for a very chic spring look (if you can find it).

I choose to believe that the "Hamnet" is part of the same universe as "Shakespeare in Love" and the plots of both are happening simultaneously

Best thing about #SouthernHospitality is they’ll get blackout drunk and keep on filming Lake & Molly had a whole apologize conversation while Lake was blackout; she doesn’t remember it, but accepts and moves on 😂

My partner has this one knife I call "mr bitey". It's a really good knife, but i am terrified of it. I decided to use mr bitey to cut up the chilis for my doenjang guk and mr bitey bit me 😭 And like, not how you would expect, in a complete freak accident way like all my kitchen injuries ever 🫣

an old one #comic

Nicole only wants 2 backup dancers this time?

what if we simply catapult the oil tankers over the mountains, bypassing the strait of hormuz entirely

wait. wait. everyone hold on. i've solved it

We’re now on year 10 of fawning articles about fucking idiots sticking forks in electrical outlets and saying “wha happun?” the moment it hurts

Oh no, the people who hate women didn’t think you were different than all the other girls like you said?

Producer EL CAPITXN has a clear (and explicit) message for fans of his friend Heeseung (ex-ENHYPEN)

I never wing it. I am a planner. The only thing I wing it on is stuff like getting fast food instead of cooking

Is anxiety an emotion? 😬

Moving to Canada for the second time 😂😂

Entering my zen era.

A sense of humor

Neither. I am most like one of my aunts

These assholes terrify me

Iced americano even in the middle of winter

who called it an american express credit card statement instead of an ae iou

Britney Spears' former assistant called her March 4 DUI arrest 'suspicious' in a recent interview: 'I think there are some people out to get her.'

Every day I log onto the internet, I am reminded that I have been through a lot more shit than maybe 80% of the people I see in my various feeds and have to remember to keep my mouth shut. 🤫

Iowa farmer: We've had this huge jump in fertilizer prices because of this conflict. With 30% of fertilizer coming through the Strait or Hormuz, we've only been in conflict for 12 days here, and our fertilizer costs have jumped 77%.

we remain firmly on track for 'republican president leaves the country an omnishambles, next democratic president is punished for not cleaning it up fast enough'

Constitutional amendment to launch billionaires into the sun.

The two types of army