“You get more conservative as you get older” *me at 32 doing a little light reading on Marxist-Leninist thought on a random Thursday*

Watching The Fairly OddParents is dangerous because My Shiny Teeth And Me will get stuck in your head and you will never ever be able to escape it.

Watching people scream at each other over the 2028 election when we haven’t even gotten through this years midterms and the hurdles they’re trying to put in place for that feels like watching a bunch of people smash their head into walls for fun🧍🏻‍♀️

I’ve been sleeping on Castles Crumbling and I think someone needs to bonk me for that tbh. How very dare I???

It’s snowing again and I am displeased. This is somehow the longest winter of my life.

Seething over greeting a customer only to have him tell me “this isn’t a job for you” and beelining for boss man’s desk. The job too big for me you may ask? Calculating how many yards of concrete he needs for a slab. Something I do on a DAILY BASIS!!! I can’t stand being underestimated.

Just sitting at my desk thinking about the fact that Nancy must constantly be battling resentment for Mike because his best friend actually came back. I thrive on hurting my own feelings.

The one downfall of having an electric hybrid car is the mechanics at work absolutely will not touch it. They used to do all my oil changes for me when o had a regular gas engine and now I have to go to the dealership 🥲

Oooh pop base when I catch you for putting Merman Wallet on my feed 😤 do you know the hoops I jump through to avoid that contrived little corporate pop country puke?! AHHHH!

Woke up and the first thing I saw was a woman and her three children (18,16, and 5) were grabbed by ICE here in Alaska. In Soldotna to be exact. The amount of Alaskans defending it and cheering it on makes me sick. I hate it here.

You know maybe we just…point out to Trump no president has ever been down to see the titanic and that would be a big deal? Then we send him down in a (questionably constructed) submersible with a handful of his billionaire buddies? It doesn’t solve all the problems but it’s a fun start 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why am I sad that the youths no longer get the experience of the radio and music tv inundating them with all kinds of different artists and genres and everyone having a baseline of those songs in common? Streaming recommendations don’t have that same feel or offer the same experience.

I’m already sick of hearing about the Iditarod and it doesn’t even happen until next month. I’ve always hated it. Idc if they’re “bred for it and happy doing it”. You’ll never change my mind that it’s cruel and dangerous for the dogs. No form of dog racing sits well with me.

The guys at work wonder why I don’t trust their opinions and then insist that The Situation was the best Jersey Shore personality. Wrong. That’s JWoww. Jenni all day every day.

I popped on the new Lana single bc the skyline is talking about it and my boss immediately whipped around and looked at me like

How am I supposed to focus on work when I need to go home immediately and dust off my Hannah Montana and Mitchel Musso CDs?!

Hannah Montana content in the year 2026? Tween me is SCREAMING.

Just got the email statement for my plowing and sanding bill from all the snow last month. It’s over 400 bucks 🤮 if I see one more snowflake fall from the sky I will be on international news.

They put straight crack in this song istg 💃🏻

Mostly ripped the toenail off my big toe accidentally ramming my foot into the concrete leaf I was gifted by one of our customers. So, that’s how my Tuesday morning is going.

Giving my dishwasher a half assed repair for the 20th time because everything is expensive as hell and I can’t swing replacing a nonessential appliance 🙃 I hate it here. And I hate everyone at every company that decided they should stop building appliances to last.

I am ✨disillusioned✨ with everything.

Just saw a video testing out how soundproof cars are. Turns out my ford escape has little to no soundproofing. My apologies to anyone in a parking lot that has had to hear me singing along to the radio badly at the top of my lungs.

I need to bite the bullet and get a laptop. I’m lying to myself saying I can do it all on my phone and ipad. In fact I cannot and I am making myself suffer through trying for no reason.

Me rambling about ‘tis the damn season being extra relatable because the layout of the area around the school is like its described in the song only to be met with “isn’t that a Lutheran not a Methodist though?” 😐 YES BUT THATS NOT THE POINT SHUT UP AND LET ME LIVE!

All Over You by The Spill Canvas is a song that lyrically would have fit on Speak Now and that is a hill I will die on.

Listen. I love that my neighbors took the midnight toker line from that Steve Miller Band song to heart. They seem like fun people. But is it necessary for my entire back yard to also smell like the devil’s lettuce? I’m just trying to take my dog potty without catching a headache or contact high 🥴

Eating naked spring mix leaf by leaf because I couldn’t get the stupid safety seal off the salad dressing. This is what I get for listening when my doctor said I need to get more greens in. I feel like a guinea pig.

Every time I see a woman get a new boyfriend and suddenly find Jesus I just know the right wing heel turn and abhorrent political social media posts are right around the corner.

I’ve been napping on and off all day because my vertigo meds knock me out and I woke up to the teenager hovering over me to make sure I was still breathing during one of these naps. I’m dizzy not on my deathbed, kid. Though she damn near sent me to the pearly gates 🤪

The teens had a lovely Valentine’s dinner that I interrupted the end of crawling up the stairs to get my meds for a vertigo attack. He made steak, mashed potatoes, and some bacon wrapped asparagus. I didn’t get to any pictures but he did well. They enjoyed their evening after I made it to my bed 🤪

The most Alaskan thing about me is I will bicker with you if you call it a snowmobile. It’s a snowmachine or a sled. Those are the only acceptable names.

if home is where the heart is, then we're all just fucked

Our superintendent is getting shredded for throwing a fit over how a school in our district was using funding. The twist in the plot? He used AI to pull info about this school which shares a name with a town in ILLINOIS! IT WAS THE WRONG PLACE! AI is making us collectively dumber.

I’ve spent years trying to get what I thought was body acne under control. This past week I had to switch to a different body wash from my preferred Dove bc the store was out. My bumps are already calming down and clearing. I’ve spent SO much trying to fix it and it’s been the Dove all along 😭

This is the most snowflake-y snowflake I have ever encountered in my life. Almost completely perfect. Nature never fails to astound me 😍❄️🌨️

I wish I could open a brick of cream cheese without the overwhelming urge to just take a honking big bite out of it. If not meant to bite into, why look so biteable?

The teenager’s boyfriend texted me to ask if he could cook her dinner here tonight and offered me a plate as a bribe. Um…DUH!? I don’t even need the plate. You just make some cutie magic for my girl 🥰

Called the public pool “the human soup bowl” in front of my nephew too many times and now he’s refusing to go to his swim lesson. He doesn’t want to be soup. It is highly likely my sister is going to end me 😀

The teen wants to run to the store and pick up a stuffie to go with her boyfriends valentines stuff and I am about to run into 15 people I know panic buying vday gifts 🤪

What will I be doing with my Valentine’s Day?Watching most, if not all, of the following: Say Anything Crazy, Stupid, Love High Fidelity 10 Things I Hate About You My Best Friends Wedding Sixteen Candles Pretty in Pink P.S. I Love You

Good morning, besties! Happy Valentine’s Day to those who celebrate. And whether you celebrate or not, I hope you have an absolutely wonderful Saturday. I love you all to the moon and to Saturn 🥰😘💖💕🫶🏻 p.s. the candy goes on sale soon, prepare yourselves.

She has side eyed me and said “this is problematic” no less than 15 times. I probably should have given the disclaimer that we were much less evolved as a society in 1999.

I put on Varsity Blues to show the teenager for the first time and I am barely holding it together. I knew I was sad about James Van Der Beek. But I didn’t realize how sad watching something with him in it would make me.

Gabbie Hanna circling back around to the Trisha Paytas drama again in the year 2026? This feels like being trapped in a time loop.

All of my algorithms seem to have decided I want to hear Emmanuel Acho’s buns takes on Jalen Hurts. And quite frankly I would rather saw my own piggy toes off with dental floss that listen to that man talk about my QB. If I wanted WIP takes, I’d pay attention to WIP.

But why is he called Quad God? That nickname gives the impression of big juicy legs yet when I googled there was nary a big juicy leg to be seen 🤨

I can’t remember where my keys are but my brain randomly pulls memories like the parent teacher conference with my Spanish teacher where my mom explained I couldn’t go on the class trip to Spain because I was gullible and prone to peer pressure and would get in trouble or kidnapped. Thanks, brain 🙄

Are Girl Scouts setting up their cookie tables outside of dispensaries now? Because if they aren’t, I feel like that’s a massive untapped market.

I think King of My Heart has overtaken all of the other tracks on rep to take its place as my most favorite. Idk why. It just does things to my brain.