If death doesn’t quit taking everyone but the people that deserve to go, I’m gonna lose it.

NO 😭💔

One of the guys brought in a couple bags of hi-chews for the candy jar. The mango chamoy flavor has altered the course of my existence 😮‍💨

With no due respect, I’m not reading your substack screed about how Democrats are enabling fascism. You’re in a Nazi bar, bro.

rage, in small ways did you wish that i could know that you'd fade to some place i wasn't brave enough to go?

I don’t wanna jinx it but I feel pretty good about the Sean Mannion and Josh Grizzard moves? My main concern is Sirianni hamstringing the new guys with his whole turnover adverse to a fault thing.

The teenager gave me the last Red Bull in the fridge instead of taking it for herself and it made me weepy. So either I’m getting ready to get my period or my caffeine dependence has finally gone too far 😅

Getting real sick of waking up to worst case scenario shit happening in this dumpster fire of a country 🫩

Death. Taxes. Sobbing to a Noah Kahan song.

Shout out to my headphones for disconnecting themselves while I’m listening to a MURDER TRIAL and blasting that information out to the entire office. I just enjoy listening to lawyers lawyer and now everyone thinks I’m weird 😭

It is 41°F outside right now and when I tell you it feels like summer 😍 this is shorts and tshirt weather for me.

“Stop calling everyone wieners” Well, they should quit being wieners if they don’t want me to call them wieners 🤷🏻‍♀️

I feel like a soggy paper towel and that’s going to make for a long day.

FOB ALBUMS BRACKET BATTLE DAY 7! 🫧🖤 DAY 6 RESULTS: 👑 infinity on high (11) 💔 from under the cork tree (9) AND THE FINAL BATTLE IS... folie à deux VS. infinity on high comment your vote! please repost for visibility <3

Can I just have a normal drive home? Someone decided to drive slow up a steep hill with a 90 degree bend in it. They could get no traction at the top. I barely had any either. If I didn’t get myself into the snow between lanes I would have been crushed in a traffic sandwich when we all slid back 😵‍💫

Highway Don’t Care is deeply underrated (praise not for you Keith Urban you and your guitar can both bite me) and we don’t talk about it enough.

I know it’s only just almost 4pm but I am so extremely ready for bedtime.

So you’re telling me Matthew Lillard (my favorite celeb forever) is coming out with a ghost face (my favorite horror franchise ever) vodka and it releases on my birthday (arguably the best day ever)? The stars aligned a little too well on that one 🤨

It is a knock down drag out fight to keep my inside thoughts inside today.

It’s almost impressive how quickly Nicki Minaj has undone her entire legacy and replaced it with being known a right wing shitbird.

We’re supposed to have an 11 day streak starting tomorrow where the high temp is above freezing during the day. Everything is going to turn into a melty slushy soupy dirty mess that freezes back up at night and I am not at all mentally prepared to deal with that 😭

Hilary Duff album release on February 2nd. Luke Combs album release on March 20th. Noah Kahan album release on April 24th. I AM SO SPOILED FOR THE NEXT THREE MONTHS AHHH 😍

Woke up with a black eye I didn’t go to sleep with. Apparently I’ve turned into a violent sleeper. Or my dog whacked me in my sleep. Both very possible 🙃

Why am I running around getting semi-regularly scammed by a fox if none of my villagers ever step foot in the art portion of the museum!? GO LOOK AT THE THINGS I SUFFERED FOR!

FOB ALBUMS BRACKET BATTLE DAY 6! 🫧🖤 DAY 5 RESULTS: 👑 folie à deux (15) 💔 so much (for) stardust (3) TODAY'S BATTLE: infinity on high VS. from under the cork tree comment your vote, and let me know if you'd like to be added to the tag list! please repost for visibility <3

I JUST SAW A PLOW GO BY! This is your sign to always be annoying and persistent because it works in the end 🙂‍↕️

The state/borough have still decided not to plow anything. The highway is shut down in one direction due to a pileup. There’s accidents everywhere. I’m calling it for the day and sending the guys home while it’s still light outside so they can at least see. WHY SO INEPT ALASKA!?

Might call to pester both the state and borough about plowing because I have nothing better to do with my time and I live to be a thorn in the paw of authority.

Everyone canceled their jobs for today. Between people being sick or unable to get out of their driveways/neighborhoods It’s me and three other employees here 🙃 other than the few people that come in for sand, I don’t foresee this being a profitable day.

Ended up late to work because I had to go main roads thanks to my suv handling like cheeks in deep snow. I never go main roads if I can help it. It was an experience. I thought the people who drive the side roads were heathens. You main road drivers are HEATHENS.

They don’t even have the main roads plowed for the morning commute. The side roads I have to drive aren’t going to be touched for at least two days are they? Yay nightmare drives 😩

what was forecasted: 1-10 inches of snow what we are actually getting: freezing mist I’M SO SICK OF ICE. ALL FORMS OF IT.

I think one of those inflatable furniture sets from the 90’s is what would really turn this house into a home. Yes, you’ll stick to it and the seams may be sharp enough to slice you, but in a cozy way.

“It’s not nice to insult someone’s looks” HELLO? I WILL MAKE FUN OF MEMBERS OF A FASCIST REGIME HOWEVER I DAMN WELL PLEASE. This is not the time for when they go low we go high. When they go low I will go straight to hell making fun of their bad fillers and melty flesh. Deal with it.

FOB ALBUMS BRACKET BATTLE DAY 5! 🫧🖤 DAY 4 RESULTS: 👑 from under the cork tree (21) 💔 take this to your grave (5) TODAY'S BATTLE: folie à deux VS. so much (for) stardust comment your vote, and let me know if you'd like to be added to the tag list! please repost for visibility <3

I can’t believe people are still fist fighting about celebrities needing to post about current events. How have we not moved past that? Unless they’re posting calls to action, what use it is? Just admit YOU want to see those posts because it makes YOU feel superior to other fandoms.

I don’t want the birds to bring on Jim Bob Cooter as OC for the simple fact no one will be able to take me seriously any time I say that name. I already get picked on about football please spare me from extra pain.

Very rude of pop crave to make me witness a drake selfie against my will.

Roundabouts are the worst creation and I’m so annoyed Alaska ever started using them. Almost got hit twice by people slip sliding around trying to drive through one. Driving a giant sharp turn isn’t really compatible with snow and ice. And people refuse to drive for conditions. They’re death traps.

I have to run the office tomorrow bc the boss has a dental procedure and I still don’t understand how I accidentally became important. I’m pretty sure I was originally a personality hire.

Took Thor potty and he decided on my foot was the best place to pee. I don’t know what I did to wrong him, but I know he’s just been holding that grudge waiting for his moment 🤨

Making fun of the House of Wax remake from the 2000’s and eating frosting straight out of the container with the teen before bed. So this is what being rich feels like 🥰

Watching the pats lose the Super Bowl the day before my birthday is going to be a lovely early birthday present.

The rams being kept out of the Super Bowl brings me much joy. Thank you for your services, Seahawks 🫡

FOB ALBUMS BRACKET BATTLE DAY 4! 🫧🖤 DAY 3 RESULTS: 👑 infinity on high (16) 💔 american beauty/american psycho (6) TODAY'S BATTLE: from under the cork tree VS. take this to your grave comment your vote, and let me know if you'd like to be added to the tag list! please repost for visibility <3

I don’t give a rats flaming ass about the 250th anniversary of anything to do with this dumpster fire of a country tbh.

Alright, seahawks. Time for you to stop evil in its tracks and send the rams packing.

The Lombardi is going home with whichever NFC team goes to the bowl. It’s gonna be like feeding the pats into a wood chipper.

Don’t mind me just gonna be standing about 3 inches from my tv screen fighting for my life to see the pats players. They’re damn near invisible in some of these shots.