Sheepstealer when there aren’t any sheep to steal

My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and— I said look. Look with your eyes! Oh now you’ve gone and touched it. The paint is peeling. My beautiful paint! I’ll have to call my pool guy back. Vandal! Antifa! I said look And despair Nothing but the algae remains.

Every single word in this headline is a surprise

This has gone from "Dumb issue I'm trying to ignore" to "Dumb issue that's kind of amusing" to "Dumb issue that has them arresting scapegoats."

i think the reflecting pool has gone from “haha what a dumb ass” to “appointing a horse to the senate” level of story here

Trump, being Trump, could not resist fantasizing about the Italian PM, who apparently is the one G7 leader unprepared to pretend fawning admiration for him. And Trump, being Trump, can't take it when a woman rejects or criticizes him. And thus, once again, is the U.S. embarrassed on the world stage.

Historians are just going to refer to this as the Stupid Times.

People have talked about the triviality of this issue, but it's such a perfect metaphor for his entire administration and life in general. Anyone else dealing with this situation would say "something has gone wrong. I'm going to find out why and fix it." Not Trump. It has to be someone else's fault

When you have to repave the Reflecting Pool at 6 but kill the Batman at 8.

"Hey, you guys finish that reflecting pool?" "Sure did boss, and we did it REAL fuckin green, just like you asked 😉" "what"

Shift drink: Reflecting Pool 1oz rum 1oz mezcal .75oz lime .75oz honey barspoon matcha muddled mint

NOTHING IS REAL

which intrepid reporter will bring a piece of the reflecting pool epoxy to the next white house briefing “sir i think you dropped this”

holy shit????? ICE is getting rid of seven of the 11 would-be concentration camp warehouses they purchased and sec. mullin indicates new mass detention centers are not priority. huge!

The guys in front of the La Cienega Home Depot would have hot mopped and tiled the reflecting pool in 3 days and you'd never have to touch it again

World Cup might be the closest thing we’ll get to world peace

I know we’ve grown used to this garbage, but this is just an astounding thing for a U.S. president to say at a summit with the leaders of the world’s most powerful countries.

We're hearing reports that police have tear gassed a group of protesters outside the Senatobia Walmart where an officer shot and killed 1-year-old Kohen Wiley.

At a doctor's appointment: "Do you still get your drugs from... Mark Cuban?" 😂 (Yes, I do.)

Feds just cited the phrase “we must become ungovernable” as evidence that Minnesota activists being charged are dangerous.

The President of the USA during a World Cup hosted by America. It's a racist regime but you can't use the worst racist because something something...

My thoughts on the president's birthday and the court losses the people gifted him. buttondown.com/TrumpReport/...

The United States president keeps bragging that he can accurately identify common animals and this is somehow not a ten alarm fire.

The White House's refusal to condemn this is a reminder that, besides being appalling people, they're political imbeciles. It repels a solid majority of Americans, but this feckless, hopeless administration is too eager to score points with racists and too scared to "give libs a win" to notice.

What if we just throw the monkey's paw into the black hole at the heart of the universe? Make it some other creation's problem.

IMO, hosting this MMA event at the WH is part of a larger project to rebrand the GOP as a populist party, shedding the Alex P Keaton stereotype it once carried. And in doing so, make them seem like the right party for working class people, even as they cut taxes for the rich & slash social services

Joe Rogan’s podcast had humble beginnings as a safe space for meatheads to talk about doing DMT and staring at furniture, and now 20 years later here he is, hosting death matches on the White House lawn for the first fascist president. What a remarkable career.

Joe Rogan looks like if Shrek had to dress as a human to attend a custody hearing.

joe rogan won’t see your mean comments about his steroid induced head shape problems but i will and i think they’re all very funny, keep posting them

Remember ethics?

Joe Rogan looks like a box turtle with a glandular problem, making it unable to fully retract its head.

At some point people are going to look back at what is happening and what was allowed to happen in the country and the world and wonder how stupid were the people to vote for such a disgusting person and why did the people who could have stopped him do nothing

Drew Sheneman cartoon www.gocomics.com/drewsheneman

Washington Square Park at 2:16 a.m. after the Knicks become NBA champs for the first time in 53 years

God they’re having so much fun. I wanna be there!

Dude I was just in a crowd that was blocking a bus and the girl behind me started chanting “MTA, MTA” and then the crowd parted to let the bus thru 😭 Greatest city in the world baby

8 years ago today at a Post Malone concert two women came up to the box office because their tickets would not scan. Their "tickets" were a voter registration card they bought from someone on the train. "This isn't a ticket." "But it has a bar code."

The UFC fighters tonight went through an honor cordon at the Lincoln Memorial and had marines on stage with them during the idiotic weigh in. I will never forgive any of the people who enabled this.

I'm going to hold a Council of Kangs type event except it's me teaching all the other Jason Darrs to stop using my email address.

This was my congressman until last year. He's a galactic piece of shit.

Love this city. The racists are all stuck in a shit pub rn being yelled at by *checks notes* Fatboy slim?

We begin with a video from RAIR about Muslims moving to Texas. Yesterday they at least pretended to couch the bigotry in as “anti-Sharia.”

“Why’s it taking so long to take down the name when they put it up so fast?” yeah, undoing every single thing he’s done is gonna be exactly like that, get used to it

Shaka, when the letters fell.

Up next on Corncob TV, Scaffolding with Rick! #KennedyCenter

Why doesn’t Wemby just reach up and remove the letters with his bare hands?