Lmfao *chef kiss*

Iron Man, Iron Man Does whatever an Iron can This is not An original joke I got to work And fuckin smoked

Noah Schnapp is a profoundly shitty actor yikes

I do not know how big accounts do it. I had an IG reply go more viral than anything I've ever posted and had people trying to post my address online and death threats for a week after I made fun of Nick Fuentes. The worst part is they got my address WRONG so some innocent rando might get harassed.

Got video footage of my neighbor who has been needlessly rude to me for no reason since the day I moved in 5 years ago pissing on my house. Need revenge ideas. Not looking to get cops involved because he's Mexican and Mesa PD loves shooting dudes.

Controversial YouTube star Ms. Rachel: "I don't think children anywhere should be bombed or starved to death." Regular YouTube star Mr. Beast: "I unleashed a pack of rabid dogs into a convent. The last nun to be infected will win $19,000!"

Hey SLUTS 🫵 the Epstein files were just released 💥💥 and ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ BILL CLIT-TON ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️

Santa deserved it and so did Hitchbot.

SNOW BOWL IN PHILLY SNOW BOWL SNOW BOWL SN

whale loneliness epidemic

Planet's burning. Stay flat. youtu.be/A5U8ypHq3BU?...

Lol the new equipment I'm learning at work is going to take so long to learn because it's all color-oriented and all the colors they picked look nearly identical to me. Did they find a cure for colorblindness yet?

How long until the DoW Hegseth AI hallucinates a fake nuclear launch and everyone dies but like 9 Italians cave diving in south america?

JESUS CHRIST FUCK

Kicking to start OT is either genius football or the dumbest choice possible depending on the outcome.

JESUS CHRIST JALEN

FUCK YES LOL THEYRE BACK IN IT BABYYYY BEST TEAM IN THE LEAGUE LETS GO

Stop running it up the middle you stupid fucking team

Gonna apologize to the NFL fan community for having to watch the eagles offense in so many prime time games this year. Also youre welcome for having to watch the Eagles defense in so many prime time games this year. Go birds.

Reminder: rumor in Arizona is that Nick Fuentes pooped his pants during the mile run in high school and if you mention it to him he will crash out in public.

I am so fucking bad at the combat system in Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 that I've kinda just settled into a quiet life as a blacksmith. Making woodworking axes and horse shoes for the local townsfolk. Sleeping on a bed of hay. Clink clink clink clink.

Jesus christ it would suck if a Pluribus happened. Soulless nightmare world where you can never have sex again? No thanks.

I got asked to pick a lock for the first time since learning how yesterday. Been waiting years for that moment and I'll ride that high for a minute.

Has anyone had any kind of bovine meat or dairy products from Target? Why does it always taste like SHIT?

I've gone from asking my friends not to tag me in pictures at parties to my vegan parents asking me not to tag them in Thanksgiving dinner pictures because they dont want to lose street cred with their boomer vegan friends.

Blue is the Warmest Color (2013) 🎥

Little wolf

Randomly text "it's official, Mace Windu is transgender" to a white guy you suspect of being a secret dickhead. Works like a charm.

Dumb nerds: jedi werent allowed to bang Me, a slightly smarter nerd: Obi-Wan FUCKED. Have you SEEN Ewan McGregor?

The Eagles lost the mandate of heaven on the back 9 of a Trump golf course and the chickens have come home to roost

This dude hasn't even had sex with one person, why's he trying to tell other people who they can fuck?

Me when the vyvanse kicks in at work

They shaped the pressed turkey loaf at work into a turkey shape so well I thought it was real until they cut into it and it had no bones.

The Stranger Things kids look older than 36 year old Daniel Radcliffe now. Maya Hawke is just her mom now. A second Uma Thurman exists now.

I would fight every single bluesky skeeter in single combat just to hear Lisa Gilroy tell me to stop being weird and parasocial through a walkie talkie.

Patullo being reminded that he has AJ Brown

14-0 FUCK DALLAS LOL

The future fucking sucks shit. I spend most of my working hours fixing fuckups the AI at work is making. If I had a time machine I'd skip killing Hitler and take down OpenAI.

Today's "your brain is misfiring and giving you vivid memories from your past" episode: 21 year old LC moves from AZ back to Philly. For his birthday his girlfriend gives him a mix CD full of songs she got introduced to by the guy she was cheating on him with and he finds out. . .all of that.

Last Samurai Standing fucking rules. If you're into the Squid Game/Battle Royale genre and want to see some of the best sword fight choreography ever filmed get it playing now.

My phone AI autocorrect thing that was installed without my saying has a really hard time with simple typos but replaces random correctly-spelled worms with others for no reason.

Gamer dudes will tell you that the various entertainment awards shows are vapid and pointless then spend 500 hours a year screaming that their Titty Hentai action platformer wasn't nominated for a VGA award because of woke.

i’d be more comfortable with the olivia nuzzi coverage if every story was headlined something like “seduced by a guy who eats roadkill: the story of an extremely stupid lady”

If you're watching Pluribus: I would die for Pirate Lady.

DiCaprio is such a good actor he makes it almost believable that he'd be in a relationship with someone who isn't white and over the age of 25 in his movies sometimes. Fuckin a.

A friend of mine is a pretty popular musician in her genre now and is making very good money. Her starving musician husband divorced her because she became moderately famous and he said she "sold out". She's making a good living singing music she loves in front of thousands and touring the world.

Something absolutely perfect about Larry Summers riffing about the scourge of woke cancel culture being unfair to predatory men in a friendly email to his pal JEFFREY EPSTEIN.

Gun go brrrrrrt