Taking a bite of regular corn and letting out a deep sigh as I stare longingly at the framed photo of candy corn that rests on my mantle.

Happy anniversary to my worm costume

Here is an article I wrote about being a ghost. Read if ye dare. danielspenser.medium.com/twelve-thing...

The real Halloween decorations were inside us the whole time (skeletons)

Imagine going in a mansion and it is a haunted mansion. Truly a gift of the magi.

{"Glycerine" voice} 🎵Don't let the daaaays go byyyyy Mr. Bean🎵

Showcase your love of shirts with these shirts I sell... AND MORE! daniel-spenser-shop.fourthwall.com

Tron: Ares promises the franchise's biggest Tron yet - over ten feet!

the Doc Ock hospital scene from Spider-Man 2 but it's just wood.

Kid: "One ticket to the G-rated movie, please." Cashier: "Sure thing, kid, that'll be- Heyyy, you're not half a guy in a regular coat are you?"

I only shoot on film (the film that appears when you leave pudding out too long)

CANDY AND CORN TEAMING UP TOGETHER AT LAST

Come on down to Richard's Orchard where your first Richard's Orchard Order will be borchard porch dorched oh norch I cantch stornch

I have so many files on my computer, I'm a real filephile.

Aside from being AI, Tilly Norwood is a nepo-baby. Her dad was one of the computers in The Social Network.

Oh yeah, how about you say that to my face? Say that in my face. Say it right in my face at my nose. Say it in my nose. Come over here and say that into my nose if you're so tough. Scream it into one of my nose holes, big shot.

Buddy if you're afraid of a skeleton i've got bad news about who is driving your guts around

Alright, fine, here's my PTA film ranking: 1. The Master 2. Punch-Drunk Love 3. The Muppets Take Manhattan 4. PTA's Big Movie 5. Phantom Thread 3D 6. The Muppets Take My Office 7. The Muppets Are Banging Down My Door 8. Thunder Gulch Revisited 9. Phantom 3read 10. Sports Bloopers

{skin turning to flannel} Fall?? A scoff!!! You mean 𝒶𝓊𝓉𝓊𝓂𝓃????

"What if I told you there was a cure for baldness..."

In a city of world-class artists and production crew hunting for the next gig, Andrew Cuomo made a TV ad the same way he wrote his housing policy: with AI. Then again, maybe a fake Cuomo is better than the real one?

This is exactly why I chose to become a cartoonist instead of a general.

"WEBINAR" in a heavy metal font

Duffel bags are already great, they don't even need to be filled with dirty money!

🎵(Hey-la-day-la the bears are fat)🎵

The Morning Show has yet to comment on Labubu. They must be saving that for sweeps.

Just another day logging on as a {slowly liquifying} graphic designer in the world of {becomes liquid} late night television.

My only critique of The Bear is that he should have called the restaurant "Carm to Table"

"You guys best be prepared to uh {checks notes} follow the rules should the time come please."

{Lionel Hutz voice} So it's "The Morning Show" despite the fact there are several scenes that take place at night.

The name's B'Doo. Scoo B'Doo.

Finally, an iPhone that is thin enough to slice off my fingers when I try to use it.

🎶M-m-my boss is an alien, alien When you gonna give me some time, Bugonia🎶

brb typing my remake of The Producers but it's "you can get more clicks with AI slop than a hit."

Eating and Drinking Finally Teaming Up? I Just Drank Cereal Out of a Mug

Doors have to be one of the top ten things to anoint.

If I played the pan flute solo in the Shakira song I would be sure to always have my pan flute on me to demonstrate.

I bet whenever tribulations are invited to a party they're like "are trials gonna be there??"

Of course I’m not doing myself any favors, I hate that guy.

I did the logo/branding for Sex House and will use any chance to bring it up.

Imagine being Smaug and they make a whole movie about your desolation.

Greta Gerwig please I have an idea for an original song for your Narnia movie I promise it's not just Panama with the "Panama" part changed to "Narnia" please give me chance I'll do a good job!

Cake pops are a great invention because whenever I eat regular cake I wish someone had squeezed it with their hands.

Want to feel old? The eight spiders you swallowed in your sleep last year have teamed up and are controlling your body like a Megazord.

Trump's team like "we need the mother of all distractions rn" and somebody pitches "what if he went on da roof?" and someone being like "my god, that's just crazy enough to work."

A reverse The Ring where I climb into my TV to jump in the well and the freaky girl is like "get the hell away from me."

An entire movie about some sort of "spider" "man"?? Umm, ya, good luck with that🫤.

Only through the beauty of chef could pork become medallions.

I came here all the way from downtown. That's right, where basketballs come from.

Operator: "Hello, Time Police, what's your emergency." Caller: "Somebody's on my lawn." Operator: "Alrighty, and when are you calling from?" Caller: "1883." Operator: "Okay, is that before or after Christ?" Caller: "Who?" Operator: "Alright, loud and clear-