KarateAndPopTarts
@karateandpoptarts.bsky.social
π€ 634
π₯ 122
π 244
Kicking pastries in half since 1994
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Me: what was your name again? Ben: it's Ben Me: one week since you looked at me
about 2 years ago
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My 6yo decorated a gingerbread
4 days ago
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Me: Merry Christmas! *a mob descends*
5 days ago
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KarateAndPopTarts
Uncle Duke
7 days ago
I canβt believe that in this day and age, people are still wearing fir.
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Ygrene
7 days ago
[being blasted out of a cannon] me: hell yeah i can't wait to rip through a soldier's torso [i land safely into a circus net] me: this is cool too though
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KarateAndPopTarts
Josh Gondelman
7 days ago
*C+C Music Factory voice*
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π±πππ ππππππππ
8 days ago
βIβm a loser, babyβ βIβm a loser babyβ Commas are important. Babies are too young to be so self-deprecating.
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Me: this is better at home Lady performing my mammogram :
11 days ago
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I made a perfect queso blanco. This is my greatest acheesement.
13 days ago
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Darth Mom vs Luke Skyguy Magnetman vs Professor Twitter Milo vs Otis These are the adversarial titans of film!
13 days ago
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What if we kissed under the breadstick chandelier
28 days ago
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Me: Jesus, are these...are these claw marks in the sand? Jesus: I put you on the back of an emu lol
about 1 month ago
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PLAY on your Switches and SAVE Princess Peaches and SLAM on the back of the Koopa Troopaaaaa
about 1 month ago
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KarateAndPopTarts
the hype
about 2 months ago
Guy 5,000 years ago: [inventing virgin olive oil] His friend: unfuck it more
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There is an entire generation of humans out there who has only ever known auto flush. Wild.
about 1 month ago
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Car alarms. When you want a loud way for crime to be ignored. Car alarms β’οΈ
about 2 months ago
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KarateAndPopTarts
Jason, ex Inferis
2 months ago
September 30 October 1
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WAP this WAP that, you best WAP that smirk off your face
3 months ago
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When she bakes she's Taylor Sift thank you
3 months ago
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You can marry for love or you can marry for kidneys but not both
3 months ago
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Starting a steroid dose pack today, so if you see me out there battling Godzilla mind your business
4 months ago
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The top tier of Maslow's Patriarchy of Needs is self-actuallyization
4 months ago
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Imagine falling in love only to find out he named his dick Microsoft
5 months ago
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Current events
add a skeleton here at some point
5 months ago
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If Fall Out Boy was sponsored by Gatorade they would electrolyte it up, up, up
5 months ago
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Not to brag, but my kid wanted to wear her blink 182 shirt yesterday, so she did her own laundry. Unprompted. Well I guess this is growing up
5 months ago
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"Our mom" I say, mocking my brother
5 months ago
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Imagine hating me and I'm just over here avoiding the Noid
6 months ago
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KarateAndPopTarts
Need to cut the grass but I can't get mowtivated
about 2 years ago
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A topless landscaping service called I'm Sexy and I Mow It thank you
6 months ago
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Imagine that guy from Sleep Token does a face reveal and he's got a bowl cut
7 months ago
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I'm a bitch/I'm a lover Side of hashbrowns/covered smothered Add in two scrambled eggs/I do not feel ashamed
7 months ago
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Excuse me, provide WHAT?
7 months ago
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KarateAndPopTarts
Jimmer Cork-Bottle
over 1 year ago
This day in history. 1970. Yuchiro Miura, known as The Man Who Skied Down Everest, did something remarkable, the nature of which escapes me.
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The beep boop robot (H1N1) is my favorite Star War guy
7 months ago
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KarateAndPopTarts
Nate's Myth
8 months ago
that cat that gets fed at every house on your block is a 'group chat'
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Daughter could not remember the word mascot and said she met the team's sports furry
8 months ago
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I wonder if the Pope's grandkids call him Pope-Pope
8 months ago
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KarateAndPopTarts
Stone Cold Jane Austen
8 months ago
Shall I compare thee to a Sunny D
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Tony Bagawk
8 months ago
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KarateAndPopTarts
Almost Easter. Can't wait to dye the investments.
10 months ago
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Gonna start kissing the ground after I get off the Velocicoaster
8 months ago
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I'm a bitch I'm a lover I'm Hulk Hogan Oh yeah brother
8 months ago
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KarateAndPopTarts
mr potato
8 months ago
imagine finding out one of the most famous gun fights of all time just took place at the corral you built and the papers are all calling it just βokβ
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Hey, Siri, how many grams of protein are in Mucinex
9 months ago
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Seems like this was a tariffible idea (Apologies)
9 months ago
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KarateAndPopTarts
stabke
10 months ago
Lion All Messy or whatever idk I donβt watch soccer
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Almost Easter. Can't wait to dye the investments.
10 months ago
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KarateAndPopTarts
Ceej
10 months ago
(Nancy Sinatra voice) these boots are made for walkin/ that's just what they'll do/ please don't fetishise/ my orthopedic hiking shoes
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KarateAndPopTarts
Kalvin the Reindeer
10 months ago
ROBBER: hand over your valuables and no one gets hurt ME: *frantically licks ice cream cone*
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KarateAndPopTarts
CynicalTherapist
10 months ago
People used to mail vhs tapes to Bob Saget and never get them back. We accepted it as the best system.
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