Hitting on a subby Marxist like "Call me capitalism the way you're going to labor under me."

I learned more about interstate power grids this weekend than I ever should have throughout my entire life

Everyone's panties immediately soak when I pull out my Chili's Platinum Rewards card

The 4D Cuck Chair Experience

For the record, the Nazis are spreading terms like “zio” and “zog” into leftist spaces intentionally as an on-ramp to fascism. This is what cryptofascism means. They explicitly talk about doing this on their forums and telegram channels. You’re being played.

dawg I am fucking SEETHING about the miscommunication involved with this fill-in gig

Nicole “Kid” “Man”? what’s next, Nicole Babyadult? cmon!!

The formatting of this Beckett quote does still represent resilience and determination, just of a very different sort.

guy who does buddhism slightly wrong and ends up in nevada after he dies

OpenAI and…the United States Military…are teaming up to notify YOU that your son has been KILLED IN ACTION. Click here to speak with your son via AI one last time

perfect representation of the vicious asininity of our persecution and the banal mechanisms of its implementation: these regular-ass people, the staff at the dmv, dutifully inflicting whatever absurd degradation they're told, no matter how blatantly, cruelly pointless. would you do that? will you?

My roommate worsened my Pokemon-related habits and now has me breeding for high IVs + hidden abilities + cool Pokeballs. I guess I am now an architect of Pokemon eugenics.

I find this slapdash reporting implausible. It's hard to believe the president would knowingly target young girls.

That argument exists because the lives of non-white people are cheap in imperial discourse. Mass death on the other side of the world has no reality outside of what space it takes up on the american tv news cycle. If it were otherwise, the old normal would have been as insupportable as the new

re: Kansas today, but everything generally—I don’t repeat what’s become a talking point about the number of trans people being so small to be so targeted. The number of people harmed is not a fight I want to have when that number could be one and the harm would still be wrong.

Please read this article to the end. Even before ICE got involved, this started because this *blind man who speaks no English and uses a curtain rod as a walking stick* got lost on a walk and some Karen called the police on him and they tasered and beat him bc he didn’t drop the rod. WTF

getting really sick of my friends telling me the cursed blade is warping my mind. it's LITERALLY fine. i can stop fucking using it whenever i want. i think they're just jealous. like they know it'd corrupt them but i'm clearly stronger than its influence. in fact, i'm stronger than all of them...

Sharing “genderless burger experience” here for those who haven’t seen it

People need to stop ripping ass in the crowd at the emo music fest

@hotterdad.bsky.social was psychic. www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWLH...

Pokemon FireRed and LeafGreen for $20 on the eShop? Oh, that's ok...I have my own setup already

the degree to which the incel looksmaxxing crowd doesnt know what looks are even attractive to women is kind of impressive considering the lengths they go to but then you remember none of them have ever talked or listened to women about anything and it suddenly starts making sense

Rediscovered a pair of boots I got 14 years ago and am suddenly reminded about and amused by Past Teapot's confusion over why he was so enamored by their short heel and the satisfying clacking sound that resulted from it.

HAL JORDAN: In brightest day, in blackest BEASTIE BOYS: NIGHT! HAL JORDAN: No evil shall escape my BEASTIE BOYS: SIGHT! HAL JORDAN: This is awkward because when I invited you I thought I was messaging Beast Boy from the Teen Titans.

Don't give anything an Emmy until it's as good as this.

When we overthrow the tech bros I only want monster fuckers and furry porn artists running the internet and tech.

I love live music holy shiuiiit

"Puxatawney Phil is being paid by Big Weather" — @dem1dragon.bsky.social

Clapping my flippers together and honking like a harbor seal when a Super Bowl ad for a condiment or gambling app featuring two celebrities unexpectedly reveals a third celebrity as its punchline. Bouncing a ball around on my snout. My wife has to throw me a herring to get me to calm down.

After spilling coffee on my blanket this afternoon, my roommate joked that my cat will puke on it to spite me with another mess. Five hours later, the cat jumped onto my computer desk, turned around, and vomited with no wind-up onto my lap.

I'm gonna become the first guy to walk out of family court sentenced to death

Take me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly

A high-ranking coworker admitted in a meeting to just asking ChatGPT to research and sort out technical specifications for everything we were discussing, so as the note taker I had to include a bullet point saying "this might be hallucinated information so additional confirmation is required"

Living in the trump era makes me feel very connected to my ancestors, who lived as serfs under a succession of insane moron god kings

The "ICE just booked 100 hotel rooms in Milwaukee!" thing is going around again. Remember:

It's really distressing the extent to which in all of this Silverio Villegas González, the first man to be murdered by ICE in the streets, has been almost completely forgotten Moreover, ICE must be destroyed

*Aqualung riff*

I love how X-Ray Arcade was, at one point, a bucket list venue for me. Now we're playing there three times in the span of two months (one of which is unannounced, shhh 🤭)

this is genuinely incredible

Some ICE vehicles got taken and a streamer is saying that the entire MPLS city wide battle plan, operational overviews, tactical details and agent lists + id info just got found in the car lmao these clowns driving around with hatchbacks full of their whole shit like the villains in an immersive sim

Scott Adams dying at 68 rather than 69 is the perfect capstone to a life of being almost — but not quite — funny

legend tells of a fifth loko

Listened to the Grateful Dead for the first time today and felt whiplash at how almost immediately I was greeted with pedophilic lyrics

Trump looking at the stock market tomorrow morning

Looks like I'm finally at that age where I have to question whether or not my tummy is upset with me solely because of the excessive amounts of cheese I consume or if I'm finally becoming lactose intolerant

I must be a masochist because it's looking likely that we will actually have *four* shows in March 🤪

A friend from out of town filled in on bass for two songs during @sociallysuspect.bsky.social's set tonight, so I thought it would be funny to stand around eating cauliflower while she played I walked off into the audience and ended up hand-feeding at least 8 people who asked me to share lmao