Hate it when I'm sidling a narrow ledge and a few stones break away indicating just how far the plunge is

[ROOMMATE CASTS 𝘾𝙇𝙊𝙂𝙂𝙀𝘿 𝙏𝙊𝙄𝙇𝙀𝙏]

This man was summoned by whispers to the dark mountain for an AMAZING reason

You arrive at a door with two guards. One tells only the truth, the other will tell you about this cool thing you can do at a soda fountain called a “suicide” where you put a little bit of every soda in one cup

This just in: it’s Friday

The gnomes are once again demanding that I stop pooping on their little mushroom houses

The anti-crows perch on the undersides of branches, their plumage a blinding white, silently forgetting how to construct tools.

I am handsome and deserve treats

Gay Dracula be like “I vant to suck you off” haha *crossbow bolt lands an inch from my head* Gay Van Helsing: Gay who?

Gentlemen, this is our most ambitious project yet *unfurls large blueprint of an ice cream cone*

Rodent heaven is actually a comfy burrow deep underground and rodent hell is in the sky with all of the birds

You must be Aivazovsky’s Exploding Ship or Neapolitan Lighthouse if you think we fucking

gf: babe can we have one date where you don’t talk about the scheming duke me: he peddles falsehoods

me: My thought suffocates under a grey veil. I suffer dreadful thoughts, my mind burdened with a weight I know cannot be real. Stinky the Goblin: i eat egg very often, it tastes better spoiled rotten!