You must be Aivazovsky’s Exploding Ship or Neapolitan Lighthouse if you think we fucking

The Bears move doesn’t bother a chill guy like me

Dark shades, I still see all the jealousy I'm in a Pegasus, I'm racing for my legacy

Remember the fallen. Never forget that last stand at the lily pad fortress against the toad horde.

rolling a ball of shit. you don't care because you live very far away from me, but imagine how big it will be by the time i get to your house.

Soapy whispers augur the arrival of the Bubble Baron

Summer is here and it’s making me smell funky

People have been drawn to this sacred spring’s swag since prehistoric times

How to stop dirrhea How to stop diarrhea Why do i have diarrhea

Wizard's Eye

saw some stuff while driving around

Chicago transplant SHOCKS locals with PERFECT giardiniera recipe

ok, so there are no virgins here we can sacrifice to the volcano? all of you are just out here getting laid?

i'm so sick of unrealistic bog body beauty standards. stick-like limbs. parchment skin. perfectly preserved stomache contents. not everyone's bog is that anaerobic ok?!

It’s Friday

Something I never understood about The Dark Knight was like who were all those people and did all that really happen and if it did then why wasn’t it on the news because I feel like it should have been on the news but I guess I wasn’t old enough to be watching the news at the time so maybe it was

Don’t touch my automaton

One thing that's really good for ends is means

Once again milf hunters will be honoring mother's day with the traditional amnesty

me: My thought suffocates under a grey veil. I suffer dreadful thoughts, my mind burdened with a weight I know cannot be real. Stinky the Goblin: i eat egg very often, it tastes better spoiled rotten!

fetch me my talismans

Infusing a spreadsheet with my ki

All this talk about wendigos… how about you get off your unemployed ass and go get a job at Wendy’s 🤣 nah I’m just playing, stay vigilant

My ugly son, Pig Boy, who is not beautiful

Maoist D&D guy: we need a dragon with Chinese characteristics

Reheating Edward Hopper’s nachos but i’m still eating em

Minotaur was actually chill af, he was just as lost as I was in the labyrinth lol

The bumblebee knight sends his regards

A person like me listens to the decrepit groundskeeper when they tell me to turn back at the edge of a haunted mansion

welcome to the world's first communist podcast, on today's episode we will be cracking some jokes and taking it easy

GrrAahahHH *turns you into a torus*

Every so often, you can observe two stylites in a duel of prayers. The weaker supplicant is struck down with holy lightning or a black cloud of crows

Whoever decided to build Atlantis underwater was an utter moron

i have decided to leave my current role in administrative work and become a mysterious fog that rolls over the ancient fens

No one ever prepares you for your first double jump

We were ordinary before that silver saucer silently hovered over the truck bed, bending stars around its ridges. My pants were the first thing up that ray of light, followed by myself in hot pursuit. I would spend hours watching our gray captors mimic the ways my penis dangled in the night air.

I’ve eaten all of the quicksand in the world, you no longer have to be scared

Stewie Griffin truly is a gifted child

Donna Brothers: Congrats, you are the first jockey to win the Derby on a centaur. How does it feel? Me: First off, I want to thank the Lord and my beautiful wife and two kids. When my trainer first asked me if I thought the lust of beasts could coexist with the reason of man, I was hesitant

you were a fool to come here, playboy

The red-winged blackbird is cursed with an insatiable fury

A notable theological issue in Gnomish culture is the Veneration of Friday. Some groups use the day to grieve the end of a fulfilling work week of comradely discipline, others celebrate the beginning of the weekend and toast to its pleasures. A number of ascetics meditate on its impermanence.

Battle axe hits different when an enemy is wielding it!

mfw the blacksmith says he’ll forge me a blade that glows when the unseemly are nearby and it continuously shines pale and dim on my person

Perhaps the cow within is the maddest cow of all... damn...

*shortens your telomeres*

Twink Judge: I sentence you to death by bottomless pit Top: 😔

And as fast as the gaiety arrived so too did it leave the hamlet. Everyone returned to their disconsolate houses mourning their lost joys, The Man with a Big Butt a fading memory in their minds.