finished the first chapter of the new novel. you know what that means: time to spend several days finishing a book about the egyptian afterlife just in case something in there is relevant to what I'm writing!!

[time warrior] a spatial pincer movement only works if both pincers arrive at the same time...!

I feel like in the past decade or so we crested a hill and now the non-ironic clown is (generally) more culturally relevant than the scary monster clown. Obviously it's not like scary monster clowns went away but I feel like they were the Main Thing when I was growing up. Clownfuckers responsible?

What I find really interesting about this boxart is that, like, it's not strictly speaking "bad." But the selected screenshots and the original art combine to suggest a completely different fucking game than the actual Dark Souls. It looks like a platformer/hack-and-slash hybrid on the PS2

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last night at a bar I learned that they improved pinball by making machines that are entirely computers and they’re much better than what we had before

Nicked my finger while cutting bread. Pretty sure it's just a shallow wound and I'll be fine, particularly since it doesn't hurt very much, but a part of me is going "what if you've fucked up your finger foreverrrrr"

Of course I was conflicted when I first realized my highly intelligent genius daughter was also a fiendishly cunning serial killer, but eventually I decided it is my responsibility as a parent to raise the best child I can and it is the responsibility of the FBI to capture her.

At the end of the day I think working would be a lot more tolerable if I was allowed to tell people to go fuck themselves. 99% of the time I wouldn't even want or need it. I just want the option to be there.

The labor market is going into its cozy era. It's in hygge mode.

We’re going to have a great time making fun of everything that comes out about this for the next eighteen months, and then it’s going to come out and everyone except me will watch it opening weekend and give it three and a half stars on Letterboxd and it will make a billion dollars. Been here before

Sitting down to make an Official Thundercats TRPG, taking out a copy of D&D5E and staring at it thoughtfully for 16 hours before crossing out "Snarf" and writing "Halfling" next to it

everyone who wants Democrats to focus on throwing immigrants and trans people under the bus needs to explain why this is not going to be the end result

thing about autism is if you work really hard for many years, you can learn through trial-and-error how to navigate social situations and interpersonal connections SO effectively that people don't really believe you're autistic anymore and resent you for not being perfect at nonverbal communication

Antisemitism is a lot like Qanon child abuse conspiracies in that there’s this real and bad phenomenon and, parallel to that, what can only be described as a large scale mass psychosis about a mostly fictional version of the same phenomenon

Don’t worry, in trying to keep the ad payout model working they will create several hate movements

Saw this post on tumblr with an actual poll attached to it and the overwhelming winner was "I don't believe life begins at conception but I would still sell liquor to the baby"

gas leak

Honestly, my main takeaway from people talking about Samus's characterization, or this and that about Prime 4, is: Other M could actually have been good if it had "writing" or "voice direction" in it

cause im just a circlet-girt lad, baby heir to demesnes and fiefdoms, baby privilege and rank await thee, baby, with me (the plague will kill me) *guitar riff*

I like to imagine that the Vatican has a basement where they keep all the gifts the pope gets and doesn't actually want. A rack of jerseys kept in perfect condition, nestled next to a box containing a steam code for Undertale And a second basement containing the stolen relics of a thousand kingdoms

rewire your local robotgirl. the look on its face will be epic

filled with existential dread as I realize that I dress exactly like this minion

パイ描きたかったからまた🔥📖女体化しちゃった #deadlock

listen, it's very important that you respect the office of the president, an institution created by slaveowners and reinforced by cold war era butchers, which just so happens to be occupied by a senile pedophile who can't string together three sentences and keeps stealing money out of your pockets

'cause I'm just balatro joker, baby yeah I'm just balatro joker, baby play non-regulation poker, baby, with me (get five golden queens!) [GUITAR RIFF]

In Britain they call superheroes "vigioulantes"

LRT: I suspect this is a large part of the appeal of Hornet Hollowknight as well. The whole "standoffish and sometimes openly rude, but a kind-hearted animal lover at her core" vibe is in line with the Samus that people imagined based on Super, Fusion, and that one part of Subspace Emissary

By far our funniest Metroid revelation was learning that Nintendo always meant something completely different when they called Samus a bounty hunter

being clumsy with good reflexes is one of the funniest possible combinations because it means you're inevitably going to full-force punt your own phone

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imagine trying to negotiate for the extra dollar and they say nvm and dont hire you

threadspinner...

Sometimes you wake up to a friend starting a bit in your dms and you simply have to lock in

we have a president who only does good things when everyone calls him a pedophile. our mission for the next 3 years is clear.

This is a comic about Pandora

yes, phones are distracting. the only thing you can do about that is try to be more interesting than the phone. if you make your shit less interesting so that people can follow it while multitasking people will pay even less attention! obviously!

Had to edit this together real quick

Asked for "Swan Boy but make it 90s bootleg Bart" & this is what I got. Can't recommend enough, 5 popcorn bags 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿

remember in twin peaks the return when a horrible ghost mutilated the one couple who were fucking instead of paying attention to the screen? so my new patent-

I'm sympathetic to this point of view but speaking as both a consumer and an artist I truly think you have to say "fuck 'em, they can figure it out or look up a walkthrough" eventually. Enough catering to the lowest common denominator.

incredibly funny implication that ecoterrorism is only somewhat woke

Every time I look at a map it fucks me up how far north Eurasia and Africa are and how far south the Americas are. Just doesn't feel right. We need to even that shit out.

Years ago I was suspended on Twitter for inviting Marco Rubio to swallow ten D batteries, which I don’t see how it could be a threat; he and I were not even in the same room and I have at most six D batteries on hand

they can still save this if they announce that one of Samus’ sidekicks is an anime girl inventor with swirly glasses that gets covered with soot when the inventions she makes to help you explode in her face

graphs that go in the history section while explaining why a country went into economic decline