The Simpson’s complicated hair makes for challenging cookie cutters 😞

I set out to make a little glasses holder for my desk yesterday and after an hour of struggling to make something decent, I just made this guy instead

Border Patrol chief Greg Bovino discovered to have been one child in a trenchcoat

Greg Bovino sadly filling one steamer trunk after another with elaborate fashy overcoats, the teargas canisters he always has bouncing around on him like labubus, and dozens of "chest-belts." They will be shipped ahead of him as he prepares to return to his home, which is a men's size 10 boot.

I love when these guys give us an unintentional glimpse into their increasingly hellish lives

*Mulder tosses folder across room, into Scully’s lap* Have you heard about the Charlie Kirk Cryptid

George got put in lap jail for barking during my meetings and he was so pissed

It’s here: The Official ER Staff Ranking

Glazed donut face ass

merry christmas to everyone, except christians who we start persecuting today for real

AHHHHHHHHHHH (derogatory, complimentary)

Same with “JOI to the world”!!

Let’s take a look through the Neiman Marcus 1967 Christmas catalogue together as a holiday treat

Every couple of years I get a piggy bank that’s too cute to break into so I can squirrel away my spare change and unfortunately today’s the day for this guy 😞

Sure why not!

If Medicare for All had passed, people wouldn’t have voted for Trump

The handmade, human qualities of your work are more valuable than they've ever been. Don't doubt that for a second.

the sooner everyone in the US electorate and public service understands that there is no normal to be found or returned to here the better we all will be. the time for half measures and norms has long passed.

anyone who thinks of the Postal Service as a money-losing business instead of one of the peak achievements of American society belongs in prison

lol as this guy’s actual irl girlfriend, I gotta tell you that i would leave him in a hot second if he started defending the democrats

Like…where did this fat come from? Why is it here

There is a blob of fat in the front yard of my house

margate elephant, margate city, new jersey, 1978

Good luck to our NWSLPA union members as they compete in the championship tonight! Women’s soccer is union STRONG!

Check out Wee Willy Winky over here

I will add one more mean but accurate thing which is that the Red Scare girls deciding they don’t believe in skincare as they chain-smoke into their 40s has become… really evident

peak baseball is indistinguishable from the feeling of hitting your head against a cement wall

club 21, portland, oregon, 1976

I took NyQuil like an hour and a half ago and this game is trying to kill me

Winchester Mansion x White House is the collab we’ve all been waiting for

I can’t believe Neil Olshey missed this in his incredibly thorough background check

If my small child could post.

MEANWHILE on tv right now this moment...

lol @ the idea of getting a Nazi tattoo and letting it hang out on your body for 18 full years with “plans” to get it removed

Dan Wilson oversaw the most successful season in franchise history!!!

I’m glad I chose to listen to the radio coverage instead of the tv announcers!! I figured if we were going to win, I wanted to hear it from Rick Rizzs and if we were going to lose, I wanted to hear it from Rick Rizzs.

(picking up guy in the gutter who has had his teeth kicked in and can barely stand after his kneecap was exploded) congrats man. now you get to play the dodgers. go get em

the last six weeks or so of m's baseball has been some of the most fun baseball i've seen in my life

Practicing radical acceptance

I can’t do this

I’m listening to Rick Rizzs call the game because I couldn’t stand another game listening to the TV announcers and it’s SO much better

IT’S TIME ⚾️ 🔱

The game is in 2 hours and I already have horrible anxiety

My therapy appointment is at the exact same time as game 7 tonight so i need to cancel but I can’t seem to write the text in a way that doesn’t make me sound (even more) unwell