Blue Jays win. 51st state my dick. Fuck 300 million of you

1 Onion Subscriber vs 20 Non-Subscribers on our new series: Encircled. Subscribe at https://membership.theonion.com/?campaign=701a500001bfegPAAQ to get the paper delivered to your door.

My new piece, up now @thenation.com: "If only trans activists had known what size check to cut for Chappelle, they could have shut him up years ago and saved themselves all the picketing at Netflix." www.thenation.com/article/cult...

This alone deserves a donation, and I was happy to oblige. #Wikipedia #WikimediaFoundation

realistic Star Trek

David Cross folks.

Haven’t been posting lately, but I recently finished this Humblewood Strig Paladin for a friend. Mini is by @hitpointpress.bsky.social and I love this sculpt. Cute as heck. #miniatures #miniaturepainting #minipainting #paintingminiatures #tabletopgames #tabletopminiatures #ttrpg #rpg #humblewood

What if every TNG character had a signature maneuver? (thread)

donald trump is going through full brandonization at an alarming rate

‘Drift’ Oil and acrylic on canvas 1.1Mx1.1M

reminder: Jimmy Kimmel is enough of a mensch that he devised a segment on which actors who are just short of having enough work to qualify for union healthcare come on his show and deliver a single line of dialogue deadline.com/2024/07/jimm...

Silly Jimmy Kimmel. He should have just called for all homeless people to be killed and he’d still have a job.

The Department of Justice has removed a study showing that white supremacist and far-right violence “continues to outpace all other types of terrorism and domestic violent extremism” in the United States. 🔗 www.404media.co/doj-deletes-...

Next time someone on the right claims all the political violence in this country is coming from the left, not the right, do please show them this. You're welcome

Long time without a new mini painted, i'm currently focusing more on family and health so i've less time to paint, but here is the Bear Pride Krieg ! As soon as I saw that model with more heavy armours than the usual Kriegs, I knew he had to be a bear :) Hope you like him ! #warhammercommunity

this is, hands down, the best video I've seen on men's influencer content and it's not close either

Mr Mamdani when will you disavow the Jets

From me, a list of Trump supporters who killed, or tried to kill, Democrats and opponents of Trump in recent years (since the right are now claiming all the political violence is from the left!) Receipts: zeteo.com/p/charlie-ki...

Liberal politicians if you are so disturbed just pretend Charlie Kirk was a Palestinian child and you’ll get over it in no time

Elizabeth Warren on people who say Dems needs to tone down their rhetoric: "Oh, please. Why don't you start with the president of the United States? And every ugly meme he's posted and every ugly word."

Can't recommend the print edition of The Onion enough...

Ex-Israeli minister Ayalon: "There is no famine in Gaza." Me: "Why does the IPC say there is a famine?" Ayalon: "The IPC changed the criteria." Me: "That's a lie. What criteria did they change?" Ayalon: "They changed many criteria." My full interview with Danny Ayalon: zeteo.com/p/danny-ayal...

restaurants are a scam. most restaurants secretly have a kitchen in the back that you’re not allowed to see where they prepare all the food

Why are democrats weak as shit and constantly caving to right wing whining ?

Dems should swap out Hakeem Jeffries with Jasmine Crockett. They need that kind of fire.

What election were these fucking idiots watching? When did Kamala Harris ever say "microaggression?" What we should be warning Dems to avoid is campaigning with Liz Cheney.

She doesn’t need a hero, she is the hero we need. 🤩

[Slaps vest] You can fit so many babies in this bad boy

I have every faith in OpenAI and their plans for all of us. They're much smarter than we are so let's just drop all the negativity, mmkay? In unrelated news, please enjoy this graph from their launch of ChatGPT 5, in which 52.8 is a much higher number than 69.1, which is equal to 30.8.

Me: "So which country should @aoc.bsky.social go back to?" Mick Mulvaney: "She's an American citizen." Me: "So why did Trump tell her to go back to her country?" I asked former Trump WH chief of staff Mulvaney if he ever challenged his then boss on his racist tweets. www.youtube.com/watch?v=wolq...

DuckDuckGo has added a feature to filter out AI images from search results.

liberals can’t even handle anyone to their left criticizing democrats like pete buttigieg and gavin newsom 3 years before the presidential primary about how they have shifted right on trans issues and homeless policies. when is the right time to criticize them????

🚨 This woman tries to call the family of the man being disappeared and ICE will not allow her to get a phone number. One of the “undercover” mobsters nearly backed into her.

trickle down economics trickle down economic trickle down economi trickle down econom trickle down econo trickle down econ trickle down eco trickle down ec trickle down e trickle down trickle dow trickle do trickle d trickle trickl trick

Finished my leader! #paintingminiatures #miniaturepainting #solwyte #mechanicum #horusheresy #hh #30k #paintedminiatures #3dprint #3dprinting #magos #abyeant #robot

I saw Flavor Flav in the mirror

This is how insane people sound when you tell them why A.I. is bad

Boney.

If you don’t know how cooked we are. This is where we are at. This pot is boiling, frogs, and we’d better put out the fire and fast. Because that man is not alone in thinking this way. We are all about to be served on platters for oligarchs.

Carville endorsed Cuomo for Mayor. If you’re a Democrat, you should be mad at these guys. How is the party you’ve voted in to make things better when they are propping up the worst people? The people who are blocking the progress we all want?

Still trying to figure Bluesky out, so lets start off with this cute guy I painted. #minipainting #3dprinting

A Dem lawmaker and her husband were killed by a guy for their political views and it’s already out of the news.

Last member of my ongoing diorama project : the trans pride Wayseeker ! I had a lot of fun pushing the contrasts on that color scheme I'm very familiar with now ^^ The base is temporary since I'm currently working on a custom thematic base for the whole unit. #warhammer40k #warhammercommunity

Provictus of the Confederation in VoidSiege: Sythopian Wars - part of the 2 player starter set. V. nice cast resin models w/ an industrial/dieselpunk feel! I'll have more photos from this commission over the next week or so 🙂 voidsiege.com #miniaturepainting #voidsiege #nerdlings #wepaintminis

I want to understand more about what's going on and why, so I've decided to read one year's Wikipedia entry every day, starting at 499BC. I chose that year because I had to start somewhere and I didn't wanna miss the Battle of Thermopylae.

I love their skeletons so much...

Turtle Mutual Aid: