this exists it is called thinking

if Jimmy Kimmel's political humor is too hot for you to handle, I'm not sure "snowflake" even cuts it as a term of derision for the level of fragility you've achieved

This guy kind of rules.

“Chat, what up, today we’re interfering with an active crime scene”

Illinois Gov. J.B. Pritzker (D) on the shooting of Charlie Kirk: "Political violence, unfortunately, has ramped up in this country ... I think there are people who are fomenting it in this country. I think the president's rhetoric often foments it."

If all my friends called me a pedophile in my birthday book I'd probably kill myself too

o7 rest in peace, king

Making them wear high-visibility vests over camo is such a good joke you couldn’t write it

some patients are going to die, and you have to find a way to accept that - it’s just part of being a really bad chiropractor

I know there's a lot of controversy about the Cracker Barrel logo, so I worked up a new option that should be good with everyone... The barrel is back, but it's now guarded by Scubble, The Cracker Goblin. I also worked up a new slogan for the company!

This is the most rigorous fact-check Trump has ever experienced

Bam Margera has the opportunity to do the funniest thing rn

What if the Sopranos today? Tony use BetterHelp.

BREAKING: District judge presses forward with mass-firings challenge following SCOTUS's order. Judge Susan Illston provided a great example on Friday of how to deal with the current Supreme Court in an order that the Trump admin turn over its mass-firing plans. New, at Law Dork:

Lady Gaga has fallen

mfer said Donakd

Credit to Trump, it looks like Operation Fuck Around was an unqualified success. And now we wait…

This was 2018

Why should I care about the ideological diversity of Bluesky when I’m simply here to riff with the boys

June 13, 2001: Shaquille O’Neal finishes with 34 PTS/14 REB/5 AST in the Lakers’ 100-86 win at Philadelphia in Game 4 of the NBA Finals. Allen Iverson scored 35 PTS to lead the 76ers, who fell behind Los Angeles in the series, 3-1.

Las Vegas police immediately arrest two livestreamers when one of them insults an officer after an anti-ICE protest ("honor your oath, bitch"). "You need to learn there's rules: don't run your mouth at me."

The mainstream/centrist punditocracy seems to exist in an alternate universe around discussing protests where 1) BLM happened while Joe Biden was President and 2) it resulted in an electoral wipeout for Dems

They're literally doing the meme

humanity is so cooked

lol

draft lottery odds, visualized #rstats

hosting a conclave to figure out what the vibes are for lunch

Guy named Bob from Chicago becoming Pope is the premise of a bad/great 90s comedy

The media uses the possibility his brain is mush to avoid calling him a liar and the fact that he’s a liar to avoid saying his brain is mush. The effect is that they write up neither of the 2 possibilities, dramatically helping Trump.

we’re in the “why can’t I smell my Yankee candle” moment of whatever’s coming next

Sorry guys, kinda upset right now, just found out I was left out of ANOTHER group chat

"The Executive may succeed for a time in weakening the courts, but over time history will script the tragic gap between what was and all that might have been, and law in time will sign its epitaph."

I think the GOP doesn’t apply this analysis because they saw what happened when Dems took over after a Republican-driven coup attempt.

Oh my god you want me to find "evidence" before putting someone in jail? Every time?? Do you have any idea how long that would take

Was just told Sabrina Carpenter is a nepo baby because her aunt is Bart Simpson

how am I still single?

Kevin Harlan will read any advertisement in front of him. 😂

I think the Supreme Court got the law badly wrong tonight. But beyond that, it’s just incredibly ominous that Roberts would throw Boasberg under the bus and hand Trump this big win when his administration has conducted this case in EXTREME bad faith from the start. slate.com/news-and-pol...

my offer to america: we bring woke back

experts are calling it “the economic equivalent to injecting bleach”

I must not be the first person to bring this up But there has never been a more vindicated guy

It’s one supply chain, Michael. How long could it take to recreate? 2-3 months?

I wish I had a normal job. I just want to go to a conference in Orlando.

Everyone wants there to be a grand scheme behind all of this but the terrible truth is that extremely stupid people are in charge and they have a fanatical devotion to wrong, childlike concepts of society and economics cooked up by right wing radio hosts in order to sell tainted dietary supplements

Revealed preferences theory suggests that Wall Street executives value their ability to call their subordinates gay at approximately 8 trillion dollars

let’s see who has the unfortunate task of ringing the opening bell tomorrow … ah perfect

Corey Booker should open up the Elder Scrolls wiki and start reading the lore into the record.

the dinner is a disgusting ritual in the best of times, but to capitulate to Trump like this while claiming to be celebrating the First Amendment as his admin literally disappears students from college campuses for writing op-eds & engaging in protests... just gutter shit from the WHCA