I don’t get it. We peppered them with 10 shots in the first 2 periods. The hockey gods truly hate us smh.

"Some of those nazis were very fine people." "Canada isn't a real country, we should own them." "Mexicans are rapist drug dealers." "Haitian refugees eat your pets." "Somalians are garbage people." FIFA: "Bro, you're like the most peaceful motherfucker on earth, here's a trophy."

Find someone who loves you the way white trash loves vaccine conspiracies.

Got some exciting news to share. I was just awarded the FIFA®️ “best guy in the fucking universe” award which I created this morning. I have too many people to thank for this honour but needless to say I’m humbled.

Bluesky needs to banish these octopiphobic fascists.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything this nauseating.

Lmao these godless cunts.

Everybody was panicking but as long as the Leafs keep shooting 30% and getting .950 goaltending we’ll be fine. Trust the process.

What a fucking goal.

It’s gonna be fucking awesome when Matthews scores 10 goals in 4 Olympic games before turning back into Jay McClement.

Every other day Weather Network be like “BIBLICAL DEATH STORM LIKELY TO BURY AND KILL ALL OF EASTERN CANADA WITH 2KM OF SNOW IN THE NEXT 16 HOURS” and like half a centimetre falls.

So is it too much to ask to give us a fucking game like this once a week?

You can take the man out of Twitter….

@profanity.accountant ok go

🎵The Leeeeafs fuckin’ suck baaaaaallsss🎵

I'm still boggled by how many people don't recognize the strategic importance of pacifying the Queen of Alberta to Canada's national interests right now. Our superpower neighbour is now full blown fascist and our opposition leader is a Convoy dick-riding weasel. We need domestic political stability.

I asked ChatGPT to write me a Bluesky post as follows: "create a humorous skeet expressing frustration about the Maple Leafs written by a disgruntled, jaded fan." This is the fucking bullshit it came up with in case you were worried about AI replacing human creativity:

Make no mistake, Bluesky has been an INFINITELY more pleasant and peaceful webspace than the post-Elmo nazi bot-farm but every day this place reminds me why so many would-be moderate, normal people have been so easily lured to the hard political right over the past decade.

An entirely new phenomenon for me this year is checking the NHL schedule in the morning and feeling a sense of relief when I learn there’s no Leaf game I’ll be tempted to waste time watching that night.

It appears the Grit vs Skill debate has resurfaced and as a retired veteran of the Corsi Wars I think wisdom should teach us to have more nuanced discourse. For example, 2 things can be true: The Leafs are equally lacking in skill AND balls. Bemoaning one doesn’t mitigate the impact of the other.

Fuck it - I’m gonna come clean. My Bluesky account is based in Bangladesh. You Leaf fans are so gullible and stupid. I’ve never even been to Canada or seen hooker Harvey’s.

This strategy - boosted by The Algorithm™️ put in place by tech bros - are clearly effective. Every well-off white dude I know now spend most of their lives in a constant state of rage because of how fucked this country is and it’s from their phones telling them the immigrants are banning Christmas.

Wow, we fucking suck. Like in every way.

My ¢2 take after watching 4 games: Clear incompatibility between coach and roster that won’t be fixed by 34’s return. If tree wanted a “snot” team he should have moved Mitch to land a couple of high end bashers and not rely on $4M mutts like Domi and that was because Shanny was a pussy. Blow it up.

Progressives gotta do a better job of organizing and attracting some money to get their messaging out to a broad audience. It’s depressing that every decent article is hosted on a fucking BBS with every reporter adding “please donate to save journalism my rent is 6 month late and I eat cat food”

Sorry but I don’t believe a single page of that report that can actually incriminate the orange fuck will ever see the light of day. They are gonna release fluff and the rest will be mysteriously incinerated. Nobody seems to be even breaking a sweat right now. Hope I’m very wrong.

Leaf fans shouldn’t panic. If we ultimately have to blow this up, we’ll just wait for the next time that we happen to draft an all-star caliber player in 3 consecutive years followed by signing the biggest UFA in the sport. Happens all the time.

Last playoffs I thought I saw something in this Leaf team that was different, especially the d core and goalies. I have a hard time believing that this group suddenly forgot how to hockey so I’m willing to give it some time but they’re running out of runway quick. Captain better start captaining.

That motherfucker will not lose a single, solitary supporter. Not one.

[peeks out from dumpster] Leafs are outscoring all but 1 Eastern conference team. They can’t stop a fucking puck or score with the man advantage to save their lives. Get half-normal goaltending and special teams and we’re no longer doing forensics on every fly-by and giveaway. [sinks into trash]

Keep Matthews on the shelf all year. Use the LTIR money to sign a fucking hockey player or 2.

Yeah I may check back in next week.

Well that first period sucked ass.

lol

Tonight’s game will be the first one I’ve watched this year. I honestly have zero expectations.

I think a lot of us have finally accepted that Matthews is just a really good player who can score a ton of regular season goals when 10000% healthy and is not the messiah that will lead this or any team to even sniffing a Cup.

THINGS ARE PRETTY GOOD HERE 🇨🇦 PeaceLoveCanada.ca

Thank God Canadian leftists have zero awareness or influence on the current parliamentary arena. Their only accomplishment would be handing the Trump administration a a Poilievre to rag-doll. We’d be absolutely fucked. I hope we one day have a viable NDP candidate to back but today is not that day.

One big thing that’s stuck with me after the sting of losing is now knowing - beyond any doubt - that Vladdy and Bo are legit postseason beasts and when you have that confidence in your highly paid, home/grown stars, that sure as fuck makes a team a lot easier to root for……..

Did not expect one of the best paragraphs I’d read about baseball would come from an Irish newspaper www.irishexaminer.com/sport-column...

I’m so fucking proud of this team.

Didn't like last night's loss, but heartened by the fact that it seems like the Dodgers can only win against the Jays on the back of incredibly unlikely events like an 18 inning game or a ball getting stuck in the wall.

Yeah it’s stressful blah blah but tonight is gonna be fucking exciting. I’ve never lived through a World Series game 7 and may never see one again. These are the kinds of potential legacy sporting moments that stay seared into our consciousness till they put us in the ground. Let’s fucking go.

Your mom wedges balls.

This crazy series is deserving of a game 7. What a wild ride, man. I’m enjoying every second of this shit.

Thank you Peggy - there has never been a customer review that has made me run to a restaurant faster. I can’t wait for dinner tonight.

This is our country, and we decide what happens next.   Watch the full video: youtu.be/wV-G1haFMMw

No matter what happens with this amazing, lovable Jays team, shifting focus back to this fucking rancid Leafs era is gonna be about as much fun as watching your grandparents fuck.