BREAKING: Today's Budget has been cancelled because Rachel Reeves has been discovered to be sentient hair wearing a person. The hair is now on the run and likely to be armed and dangerous.

Can any generous souls out there please help my partner and I cover £20 of basic groceries to last us the rest of the week? We're pretty much out of ingredients ♿🏳️‍⚧️ paypal.me/StuffOfMemes

Pope donates Popmobile www.bbc.com/news/videos/...

Holds nose: im cumbing

"Come out, come out and obey my orders” But the Armagh women they would never yield They’d never yield to Scott the governor, They’d never yield till they broke him down. He and his jailers were all locked in prison By the women of Armagh jail"

These days, if you're English, you go to jail for being sarcastic

My ma for the last 25 years:

the Steve Coogan helium skit is in this and it still doesn't prepare your for the dubbed interview with the Long Kesh prisoner on the shrinkenomics of their allotted sausage rolls at 16 min in youtu.be/4EG-4qhre8k?...

Hi Ken the British Army were fucking with you, hope this helps

So sorry to be my regular beggy self when I know times are hard and the time of year but if anyone could do me a solid with any small amount I'd so appreciate it PayPal.me/smloem

Turning a big dial taht says "Racism" on it and constantly looking at Britain admiringly

Someone needs to tell Shabana Mahmood that the strategy of putting a minority Home Secretary in to sanitise the racism only works if you don't call this much attention to it.

Keir starmer is the type of Labour politician that would send in the troops to maintain law and order until it blows over in a week (30 years)

Antisemitism is a lot like Qanon child abuse conspiracies in that there’s this real and bad phenomenon and, parallel to that, what can only be described as a large scale mass psychosis about a mostly fictional version of the same phenomenon

People are rude about Matt Forde as a comedian, just because he's not that funny, but actually as a podcast host I think he's very insightful, and often has on guests and thought leaders who prove to be very influential, years later Google "Matt Forde Political Party Episode 25" for more info

Tommy Robinson has joined the Labour Party 🙏

One last heave to the far right and complete electoral irrelevence for the Labour Party it is.

Ireland’s far-right movement has been discussing how it can build up momentum again – but some followers are publicly nervy over the role of extremism in their cause as groups evolve and splinter. www.thejournal.ie/far-right-ir...

Ah diyd nawt hayve sekshul relayshuns wiyith thayt mayn

Intensifying my procrastination with this jazz funk interlude youtu.be/hd5ztTz1564?...

Peeer Mandelson

hashtag horseshoe theory ahaha

WHOA OH OH OH SWEET KET OF MINE

It's groove time youtu.be/kpVxwWQjIy0?...

Fine Gael is a centre-right party except when it's a far-right party

I still have not processed what I just read.

Starmer found crying in the loos

Call me the Edmund Fitzgerald the way twenty-nine good men lost their lives going down on me.

Extremely Annie Wilkes voice: "he didn't get out of the cockadoody car!"

Deb Cohen presenting findings from what turned out to be her own paper was a bit obvious but fucking hell

I did not appreciate quite how low down and shameless Duffield was, what an opportunistic villain of a person

Michael D Higgins, with his wife Sabina, has left Áras an Úachtaráin for the final time as president. He was given a guard of honour by members of the Sanctuary Runners, a charity of which he is patron. The President’s term of office ends at midnight. ⁦‪@VirginMediaNews.bsky.social

I actually said this before the other person who said it better and to more people. 🙂‍↔️

Not getting owned by Joyce Carol Oates by defiantly recounting all the books I was made to read for GCSE English Literature

incredibly funny that Joyce Carol Oates owned Musk so hard he's started trying to post like a regular person with normal interests

"wrongly stated". Lied. The word you're looking for is 'lied' The MEN has been a fucking disaster for years. Glad to see some repercussions for once.

A genuine embarrassment and national shame that this man is still platformed by our media and in the pro-Palestine movement

My 'involved in transphobia and clownery' shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt

hi, anxiety youtu.be/heLBlQgMfo8?...

Watching JB Hutto footage to justify a cute new outfit youtu.be/4jJaUoZeiVE?...

If you’re going to allow military personnel to lie this obviously and brazenly without challenge, then you would be better to stay in London and invite them to email you YouTube clips. It would be more clear to the public what has been happening than pretending it’s something else.

Imagine photoshopping something into the smoke coming out of one of the 9/11 towers and it not being a shit post. Imagine photoshopping yourself in there.

Hello again Alan this is your lawer speaking

Belfast City Hall lit up for Project Pink, the QUB campaign for ending violence against women and girls. A march will set off from QUB to City Hall at 18:30.

In his honour service members will perform a 21 gun salute into the faces of their closest friends.

This is stochastic terrorism

This is what entirely giving up looks like. #speirgorm

Searching "RIP bozo" to find out who is dead now