It’s two tweets and no one ever laughs when I share them but idk why they completely ended me

teleporting is real if you consider drunk driving a form of teleporting

We appear to have drank the hotel bar out of Prosecco 🤣

Has noted Catholic JD Vance had anything to say about this

what’s the matter, you’ve barely touched your easter potato

Heard a shocking true story about a Middle Eastern guy, his family were asylum seekers because the western-backed regime was trying to have him killed; later on the western occupation forces had him tortured and murdered at the behest of the local theocracy. Anyway vote Reform protect Easter 🙄

Says person whose antecedents came over from France www.houseofnames.com/de+brun-fami...

When trans masc athletes start winning competitions regularly, they'll ban them too and use the excuse of "doping" to do it. That blows up their whole "biological sex" argument though.

“Immigration erodes the cultural substrate that make [sic] family formation possible” says founder of an organisation named after a woman who was married to an immigrant

The Countess apparently fought for fascists?

Imagine being a US pilot in Iran after Pete Hagueseth declared “no quarter” (take no prisoners alive — a war crime).

Shout-out to the guy who just parked in front of us

This is a predictably dogshit article but it’s notable that at no point does the author ever provide any justification as to why any immigration should be illegal at all, other than to placate those voters who want it to be.

We can use this crisis for good. 🚲 Roll out temporary cycle lanes 🚋 Make public transport free for a time ⚽ Car free days in cities 🚘 30 km/h speed limit in urban areas We do not have to double down on fossil fuels. We can choose a different path. My piece in the Journal this week.

And now, inevitably, Graham Linehan begins his turn to anti-abortion propaganda. You really have to wonder at what point are the so-called "feminists" in the "gender critical" movement going to get it? You're part of a machine that drives people Right, and Far Right.

Today's news from Belfast: Racialised minorities told to stay at home to facilitate English fascists and loyalists. “Concerns expressed regarding the effect of the parade on migrants in Coleraine. It was stated that businesses in Coleraine planned to tell “non-white” employees not to attend work."

This is the face of a boy who stands accused of destroying his father’s phone charging cable. #speirghorm what is your verdict

#speirghorm Please share to get Tadhg home, and also, isn’t Tadhg a great name for a cat

See also cats while you’re sleeping: mother is asslep? Mother is vulnerable to predators in her slep? I shall stand guard directly on her tit

Buongiorno

Always this

In space, no one can hear you Teams

Applications for the Lyra McKee Bursary Scheme 2026 close on April 6. It has the aim to "train and mentor people from underrepresented backgrounds" (UK and Ireland residents). tcij.org/initiative/l...

Stepped onto a crowded train in Nice this morning and a kid says to his father "Tá go leor daoine saibhre ar an traein seo!" (Tbf he was right, it was heading to Monaco.) The look on his face when I said "Nílim saibhir ar chor ar bith!" was classic.

bsky.app/profile/bezz... this is the other half of my humor

It is 2026 and there are still Biden fanboys defending his role in the character assassination of Anita Hill which put Clarence Thomas on the Supreme Court 🤷‍♀️

One of those self-driving trucks I guess...

Halfway through my week in Nice and I think I have consumed my weight in cheese and limoncello

And making an animal welfare “joke” at the same time.

The UK Gov: Trans people don't exist, they're all autistic. Also the UK Gov: autistic people don't exist, they're all lazy.

Sam Alito asking an extended hypothetical question about whether members of an Iranian sleeper cell would get U.S. citizenship is only lending further support to my theory that season 5 of '24' pickled the brains of an entire generation of Republican voters

Dumb and wrong

Wang now talking about comments senators made during the debates which strongly made clear that they were fully agreeing to adopt birthright citizenship. She brings in the Know-Nothing party, talking about how they were vehemently opposed to Irish immigration, but even they agreed on birthright.

51/ just want to point out how cool it is that Cecilia Wang, a birthright citizen born to Taiwanese immigrant parents, is now defending Wong Kim Ark within days of its 128th anniversary

Donald Trump showing up to witness perhaps the worst performance in the history of the US government defending its own case before the Supreme Court is going to be our generation’s version of Hitler hosting the Olympics in Berlin only to watch Jesse Owens smoke the entire German team

New way to say “your argument is novel” just dropped

“Having said that, you do agree that that has no impact on the legal analysis before us?” LOLOLOL

Listening to the oral arguments in the US birthright citizenship case and it’s striking how much emphasis is being put on the fact of borders being an extremely recent invention

We’re just innocent men

i appear to have asked a question akin to "how do Rebel Alliance schoolteachers feel about Darth Vader?"

A children's cartoon depicts him being chased by wolves off a cliff to his death. It's a happy ending

*screaming wildly* AND WHOS BEEN IN GOVERNMENT SINCE THE 1920'S EH BILLY BOY??!!

In Kurdish, the word for a hedgehog, zûbawer, translates literally to “ouch mouse”

This is a must-read for multiple reasons #speirghorm

The Supreme Court did not strike down conversion therapy bans today. Not nationwide. Not in Colorado. Not anywhere. Here's what actually happened in Chiles v. Salazar—and why the coverage you're seeing serves the conservative legal movement more than it serves you.

Pope looking at the Excommunication Button like

You don't need flavored coffee. It already has a flavor. Coffee.

Mamdani is getting allergy shots so he and his wife, Rama, can get a cat.

Catherine Connolly announces Councll of State nominees: Fionnuala Ní Aoláin (QUB lawyer) Linda Ervine (Unionist Gaeilge advocate) Colin Harvey (QUB human rights) Kathleen Lynch (UCD sociology) Donncha O’Connell (Uni Galway law) Conor O’Mahony (UCC law) Ciarán Ó hÓgartaigh (former pres Uni Galway)