eepy gworls

Brad Pitts child in Jamaican patois: “ME LEARNT IT FROM WATCHIN YOU”

no i’m not “detail oriented” that’s where the devil is

"what are we going to do with 20,000 ICE agents if we abolish ice" well to start with I think we should all literally spit on them in public for the rest of their lives

entitled combative princess? i should hire someone to kick your ass for that.

Think of god as a podcaster who sucks

“well maduro is also a bad guy—“ silence marvel movie watcher

if men are not ghouls, why can we eat food like this, a sour loaf, a rotten cheese, a stinking and oily tin. if we are not in hell, why are we surrounded by devils. and if pizza were not on a bagel, how could any of us have pizza any time

you know where the fuck I'll be

lesbanyms @phasedragon.bsky.social 💖

xl shrimp, tail on

jacemats at w*lmart

I’m not telling anyone how to live their lives but I was just scrolling and I saw a photo of a polycule of three big buff bears and tbh if that was me, if I was a big buff dude sharing my life with two other big buff dudes I would get into coordinating outfits so we look like a Warriors style gang

I needed this today

recovering alcoholic culture is going around and chugging all the half-full lacroixes after guests leave your house

🎶poor unfortunate souls🎶

Hangin' with the tgirls.

Beef up your charisma stats by calling people "big dog" now and again. People like being called big dog.

hi that’s a nice transsexual despair in the face of a tightening global political noose, my genuine advice is to listen to slipknot about it

FUCKIN FACTS 💯

read your gnospel

im gonna beat ur ass

“the people running this new platform are going to gatekeep people they dont want there!!” uhhh.. yes? thats the point? kicking nazis out of your bar for being nazis is also ideological gatekeeping, do you have a problem with that, too?

I’m going to become the stroker

Bitchmade, Inc

telling a kid they should be a lawyer when they grow up is an absolutely foolproof way to call them an annoying little shit without anyone getting mad at you

he can't steal my bone marrow, he's too moist, my bones would destroy him.

ah, well

recovering alcoholic culture is going around and chugging all the half-full lacroixes after guests leave your house

1. I'm an attorney 😏 my opinion is valid 2. (stuffs an entire police boot down his throat while somehow whimpering "thank you" over and over again)

When the feds are investigating a "crime" that occurred at a protest and they gather up all the names people so helpfully gave a nonprofit and start asking questions, what do you think happens then, Ike. Wouldn't you rather not have your name on that list? Wouldn't you rather just go to the protest?

please do not sign up for protests. if anyone asks you to sign up for a protest, you should immediately assume that person or org is a bad actor. just show up, leave your phone at home. this is not gonna be a fuckin "we are the world" pepsi commercial

so many liberal white keyboard warriors are about to be surprise pikachu when they get blackbagged and disappeared for being morons and signing up to protest

Read your last sentence then raise your hand and slap yourself with it. Are you kidding lol

if dean koontz could be stopped someone would have done it by now

The No Kings March, brought to you by Survey Monkey

people don’t seem to be mocking the death of robert redford. i guess how you act in life has some bearing on how you are remembered in death

made lasagna last night and veggie pot pie casserole tonight and I must say, still fuckin got it baybeee

wow! 100 likes! thank you so much

don't let the people who were telling you gaza wasn't a genocide last fall now tell you there's no threat from this administration through your open affiliation with protest groups

DO NOT FORGET to register your event with your real government name and your address, throw in your email and phone number too, also a general summary of your daily movements, thanks!

anyone else have a cat with dog software? my tortie growls at the mailman every day and is the most food motivated creature I've ever encountered

This is precisely what we mean when we say politicians should be doing something.

getting naked and filling up the tub so I can pee in the bath

I'm tidying the house, washing the bath mats I'm scrolling past desperation, war crimes, murder I'm making a slow cooker lasagna I'm action planning with my boss and HR in case I get arrested/disappeared I'm putting out a bowl of Werther's for the guests I'm thinking about the war