i think it's pretty simple really, i'm male but i'm not a man

me, eating a bacon sandwich where instead of bread i've used two hashbrowns: i am a fucxking geniuos

anyway. polyamory is just millennials and gen Z killing the having a mistress industry, miss me with that shit

did we honestly get a genestealer cults focus before fucking craftworld aeldari? jfc

the pixies song "bone machine" off the 1988 album surfer rosa is actually about me

eating a cupcake with a knife and a fork like some type of pervert they can only properly condemn via the hauge

got that "full of phở" sedation feeling

i heard that gen alpha are bringing dead baby jokes back in a big way

why is everyone talking about tracks off "nevermind" today?

living my life by asking myself WWTGOTWIDSTMTD? (what would the graffiti on the walls in dead space tell me to do?) it's mostly been "tear off their limbs" but to be honest it hasn't failed yet to the lack of variety isn't an issue

you know that "whw-whw, whw-ptch" sample in the prodigy's single "breathe"? yeah, i actually invented that.

nfi what a quince is but it absolutely whips cunt when its in a good finishing sauce, let me tell you

Conservatives will tell you the harmful lie that all trans women are perverts I'll have you know, I worked hard to be called a pervert and I won't have the title handed out to any girl with a shark plushie and a drawer full of unpainted warhammer minis like a fucking participation trophy

getting glad-eyed by the staff at bunnings as i buy a new carabiner

biggest disappointment in my life is when i remember a funny skeet i want to repost but when i find it again it's in a convo thread and i don't want to shit up ppl's notifications with likes from a 13 month thread

bored so i'm gonna head to bunnings

going to play a video game

"CALL THE FUCKEN POLICE ABOUT IT THEN" i scream as i ride my quad bike through a child's fourth birthday celebration picnic at the dog park

whenever we get our mercenary squad of futuristic cyber warriors in advanced alien tech armour and magic guns, there's ALWAYS some bitch who insists on bringing a bow and arrows

iain m banks' "the algebraist" one of the best to ever do it

it's gotten worse. at least star wars is sci fi trash for regular people who want to be nerds. star trek is worse because it's sci fi trash for nerds who want to be regular people

me yesterday: because of that fucked little frog thing the timeline won't shut the fuck up about star wars. i wish the timeline was posting about something OTHER than fucking star wars *the bluesky monkey's paw closes a finger*

yeah they call it "pop metal". it's got female pop vocals, middle of the road post nu-metal music, and all the lyrics are about road head.

goths. appalling people. have you even ever met one? we should NOT be celebrating them. i can say this, i own "vision thing" on vinyl so fuck off i am more goth than you are

happy anniversary to god's most tiresome losers, the goths

mangosteen and the gooch, only in cinemas

mortl kombat baraka obama is this anything

after a 2+ year hiatus movie night is BACK and its WAY WORSE (awoooooo)

i love it when i get sms messages saying shit like "your mygov account is under threat of closure" and i'm like hell yeah i fucking hope so but then it's always a phishing scam

being hormonemogged while crampmaxxing

its not my sharona or your sharona but our sharona

me, on the haemonculus' surgery table: rearrange my guts, daddy haemonculus: yeah, yeah, nope. return this one to its craftworld.

there are too many things going on the timeline. please stop posting about thirteen of them. i am not a crank.

i am going to marry swanboy's mom and thus make swanboy my swanson

happy 80th anniversary of louis slotin's criticality accident with the demon core

yeah yeah that's not a new idea you're just remaking "the frighteners"

imgine being treated like a dog where one day someone gives you a snack, you get absolutely mind-shreddingly high, and then they take you to go and see the doctor and then to the hairdressers. madness

"You have played for 2,621 hours. Would you recommend this game to other gamers?" "No."

i can be trusted with the flare gun

listening to "prowler II" by tanned christ. it's the song of the summer!

t4t garfield and snoopy

as great as trravelling is, it's always fucking pristine to get home and sleep in your own bed and get clean in your own shower

games workshop should release a euro-style political board game where each player takes on the role of one of the primarchs at the triumph of ullanor

i'm also going to change the national anthem to "mate, spawn & die" by lard

i'm going to ruin for political office for the sole reason of forcing serious adult journalists to read aloud my best posts on bluesky during the evening news on television

its legal. at the air port

eating a mibdiblebs at the air port

ah, the fifteen dollar airport beer, delicious

i was like "i can't really complain, it's a track off mellon collie"

in the car with my father getting a ride to the airport and just accepting the fact when the music of my youth is being played on the classics station he listens to on the radio