Years ago it would've been controversial for me to say Peter Griffin wears chinos. Now it's incredibly de rigueur and everyone loves saying it constantly

I'm moonscrolling

they keep it pretty quiet but by nasa policy each astronaut is allowed one (1) doober during radio blackouts

hi mom

i got a real implication... of a laugh comin on

I’m David Hockney and this is bouncy castle full of bees

is this peak pitchfork x.com/pitchfork/st...

when democrats talk about their "friends across the aisle," believe them

Guy came up to me today. This guys a real piece of work. Got the roaming countenance of a vanguard. You know the type. Anyways, get this, keep mind i can see right thru this guy. The man's got a nature most disquieted, dude. Plain as day. So he comes up and keep in mind im not buying it but he goes

last night i dreamed that i was exploring a beautiful old house, but couldn't get the lights on. finally i discovered that all the light bulbs, in very socket, had been unscrewed by like a quarter-turn. i reseated all the bulbs, flipped the switch, and everything lit up like luigi's mansion

when there's a new @baybayfriend.bsky.social post

remember what they stole from you

what a painful time to be sober

every day's a beautiful day to go to "Settings" > "Content and media" and turn off "Autoplay videos and GIFs"

barack obama is not my friend. tim cook is not my friend. not even the mayor of minneapolis is my friend. *sniffling* sorry this is just a lot to process all at once

If you want to live where there is an overabundance of free parking at every place you could possibly visit, move back to Ham Lake. If you want to live in a city, then start acting like it

Took my mom to the Lexington in St. Paul for her birthday and the hallway to the bathroom had a bunch of framed pictures including this one of Garrison Keillor which is a real doozy as the kids say.

you know man, i support alt text. i do alt text. i flipped the little toggle so i have to write something for alt text before i post. i do not think attempting to shame & ridicule strangers for ableism is the right way to spread this gospel

restaurant manager: hey so, sorry to bother you, but is that a service animal? it's just, we have a policy- jabba the hutt: je wonna wonga, bazda wahota shonga salacious b crumb: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA restaurant manager: ah. ok. cool

I am responsible for the 2024 electoral outcome. And you'd better start pandering to me if you want 2028 to go your way.

there's two types of nerd and it's "the pointy thing on boba fett's jetpack is a hypermagnetoid galactoscope" vs "the pointy thing on boba fett's jetpack is a table lamp finial"

top 3 letterboxd reviews for any movie: ★★★★ when the twink serves cunt ★★★ this movie made me want to have SEX!!! ★★★★★ a grandiose celluloid delusion magnified through spectral fever dream of tomorrow's yesterday... penitentiary chances, the devil dances, and eventually answers to the call of autu

oh, donald wants war with iran? seems like, uh, more like the time he RAN from a WAR! remember that? cause of the bone spurs. lol. anyway donate $50 to the democratic party immediately

if you are "ranting" or "rambling" online in 2026 you are elderly

we need shot spotter but for car horns and it should be able to identify the make & model of the car. this is my personal gateway to cyberfascism

How I've yearned for this clip

"I can't open vector graphics files" girl, that's on you

if u post "xtian" on my page i will fricking spank u

when you click this nothing happens lol

no

i do not love all of sridhar ramesh's posts but i do love it, every time, when someone bites the lure & then just keeps chomping all the way up the line & into the boat

Donald Trump must be removed from office for threatening war crimes and genocide. Speaker Johnson: bring the House back into session. Invoking the 25th Amendment and impeachment must be on the table, but Congress should also move on a War Powers resolution to stop Trump.

You know what? I'll admit it. The credible threat by a madman to wipe out a nation of 90 million people for basically no reason (presumably using nuclear weapons) successfully distracted me. I am now distracted.

I have had some version of "he wants all of us to be buried with him" in stuff I've written about Trump in the past and usually but not always taken it out. It didn't like looking at it, mostly, but over time it just became one of those things that was too obvious to bother with. It's all sickening.

we've been looking at iranian religious sites in my islamic art history class. incredible, beautiful, monumental. i don't even believe in god and i can still see and feel the holiness of these places. last week our professor said "some of these sites may have been damaged or destroyed."

“A whole civilization will die tonight” is the most vile thing a US president has ever said, certainly during the post-1945 era when they’ve had the power to kill civilizations with the dropping of a bomb. I’m staring into the darkness. May this not be one of the most fateful days in human history.

Prosecuting and purging the Republican Party was Biden’s one job. When he failed to do his duty it was just a waiting game to this moment.

Because we’re going to need every person of good will with a moral compass for the peaceful rebuilding of our democracy

Death-worshipping nihilist country opposed to everything good and beautiful

it's important to go to bed early & get a full 9 hours of restful butter sleep so you're at your best when you read the pedophile goblin king's Tweets Of The Morning

putting every bit of my mental energy into willing it to happen today

ya boy is gettin scrawny again

i bet if i stay up another hour i will finish all my projects and be completely satisfied and at peace for the rest of my life

imagine being a nice yung normie girl, meeting a big handsome guy like hasan piker, you're really hitting it off, butterflies in your tummy, the works, and then he tells you his profession is spinning around in his rolly chair in front of the computer all day every day

"the worst that could happen is that you fail" no, the worst that could happen is that i fail someone else and they're so mad & disappointed & mean to me that a bolt of lightning strikes me dead on the spot & i go straight to hell

if they asked me a couple years ago i would have gladly paid a few bucks - maybe even a few bucks a month - to try to avert this app’s inevitable downward spiral towards sale or IPO, but it’s too late for either of those things