illuminating to read these emails where epstein is clearly barely literate, sending single-word responses, and all his contacts just soldier on like they’re trying to coax speech out of an actual babbling infant. he sends “hopital” and gets back “wow, that is so awesome, jeffrey! great news!”

~20yo college students commiserating to uhhhh... expose? the school admin for "not caring" about abusive behavior in their midst? with uhhh a dossier of screenshots of emails? my fellow kids, idk how to break this to you,

our beautiful, precious world is being strangled in the bloody fists of boomers who make a new email account every time they download an app. the puppetmasters who could buy and sell your hometown and all the people in it can barely operate an etch a sketch with competence

the most powerful man in the country is an out and proud pedophile and he and all his nasty pedophile buddies exchanged incriminating giggly gel-pen notes in plain text and now, more than ever, he is going to get away with it

if there is one vice rich & powerful men have in common, it's mashing out incoherent emails with one thumb, teeth clenched, sweat dripping, veins bulging, squinting out of one eye thru a strobing miasma of hallucinatory optical phenomena

popular delusion among office workers is "if i can just craft the perfect email, so and so will take care of x, y will be addressed, we'll get a head start on z" or some bullshit. but 9/10x, when the big important guy it's addressed to sees it, he responds "can u ade my assistant shelly" or "k"

i think my coworker turned up the weeaboo music even louder while i was in the bathroom

crazy how much this bugs me now that someone pointed it out. if i worked at the white house, i would find this ugly, but not as annoying as i do now. ignorance is really bliss bc they more you learn, the more you just walk around thinking "collar gap" and "kerning is off."

given the opportunity i would use a time machine to kill baby bill maher

Visualizing the righteous annihilation of my enemies

sleeping with socks on traps the toxins in your socks, poisoning your feet

home sick & performatively eating spaghetti

i can't believe it took me most of my life to realize sports is real entertainment. what a ffffuckin game

🎵 been smacking pey wet barm with holy fingers 🎶

🎵 been smacking pey wet barm with holy fingers 🎶

haunts me to this day

im rolling this fact around my brain like a delicious hard candy

UNREAL. DAYNE ST. CLAIR SCORES A PENALTY IN THE SHOOTOUT, ANDREW THOMAS HITS THE BAR, THE LOONS WIN THE SHOOTOUT 7-6 AND ADVANCE, EVERYONE IN THE STADIUM IS SCREAMING SO I MIGHT AS WELL DO THIS IN ALL CAPS #MNUFC #SOUNDERS

we can have artisinally curated snuff films on demand or universal health care, your choice america

i'm supposed to be doing art school homework that's already late and one of those rattly old windows just slammed shut on my right hand. i'm bleeding and hurting and i'm depressed and i think i'm just gonna give up on life for tonight and watch tv until i pass out in a delirium

"the only way we'll deign to improve your rat hole conditions is if we can make a buck off it"is a pretty brazen thing to say out loud on tv

both of these shoulder straps are tearing out of their hardware after a single wash and maybe 4 or 5 wears. absolutely disgusting, legendary performance indeed. i'm not even wearing these for WORK-work man i am literally on my computer

Petiteness of Soul grassyvalley.thecomi...

as a wise cat once said, this world ain’t nothin but bad news and the pills that go with it

What you don’t understand about young men is that they don’t have “checking accounts”, they don’t use “the bank”, instead they hold “hot cupped hands full of stew”

I regret to inform you that Elon Musk is dancing

man what a great week this has been

quitting weed for a while in hopes of finally having normal lungs again someday, luckily fate has delivered me another round of medicinal fungus to ease the process along

no offense to my enemies but i look fairly fucking good rn

THAT'S RIGHT

just hearing now for the first time that DEATH GRIPS IS OFFICIALLY FUCKING BACK LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOO LET'S FUCKING FIRMLY GRIP IT

Hey guys check this out

no offense to my enemies but i look fairly fucking good rn

when i read "reader, i..." i'm done reading

when there's a birthday in chat and you have to wait for the flurry of posting to die down before you can tactfully change the subject

if my gov't hung me out to dry in a foreign land like this and told me to ask the locals for help i might just ask them to let me stay for good

what's truly pathetic is that there are plenty of old photos of fast food joints that actually look like this but slopmongers will not even attempt a google search before mashing the "fill my trough" button

you people better not make me do this again tomorrow

also seeing the reverse scenario where students manually type the password they think they remember, get it wrong, swear up and down they've got it right, and then act all sheepish when we direct them to the password manager to copy and paste the correct password that works instantly

Voters think prices are too low. They want an extra 10% sales tax called “The Atonement” on all purchases. This money would be put in a locked bank account forever and never spent on anything. Voters would say “The Atonement Fund has grown to $7 trillion. Good, we deserve this”

[going through security for federal court] “Where you going, for the sandwich?” “Yup.” “Sandwich heard around the damn world.”

call me a single-issue voter, but as a lifelong resident of the midway area, that CVS was the first thing on my mind heading to the polls yesterday. it's a monument to the faceless, formless forces of banal evil that make all our lives worse and i, for one, would love to see it blown sky-high

A lot of the headlines being generated right now are about exciting local election results, but in some sad news, former First Buddy Elon Musk has died by falling asleep in a Ferris wheel and rolling out of the gondola. He was at an amusement park for children, but he had not brought any of his own.

BREAKING: every Republican has died

inspired by @dialacina.com

i'm in minnesota but my entire skyline is mamdani mania this rules

master yoda, climbing on my back, looking over my shoulder in the computer room: HMMmmm, many articles you have bookmarked! but read them, will you? never! hmm!