I once dreamed up a song and suddenly awoke, convinced it would make me my billions, and wrote it down. The next morning I could remember the tune, which was from a song that already existed, and the entirety of the lyrics I had written down were: “Put it on. Put on your duck down jacket.”

The reason certain people are still on Twitter or complain how this place isn’t Twitter is because for a brief amount of time Twitter allowed specialty journalists, opinion writers, pundits, etc a chance to feel somewhat famous, or that they actually had influence, and they miss that like heroin.

I've seen some unenforcable pieces of legal horseshit bobbins in my time but this latest load of underheated pisswater masquerading as guidance takes the biscuit, the biscuit tin, the factory the biscuits and the tin were made in, along with the entire small town that grew up around the factory.

I fucking love how, whatever else the fuck that piece of shit guidance is meant to be, it treats disabled people as a separate, quirky, strange unknowable third thing, of no fixed gender, and no importance or concern whatsoever.

Any answer that isn't "we refer you to the reply given in the case of Arkell v. Pressdram and we'll see you in court" is, in my personal opinion, entirely unacceptable.

Any one of you dweebs know why the Jeremy Brett Sherlock Holmes series isn't available on Bluray in the UK, or whether it's ever going to be available?

Quark starts a station-wide craze when he discovers that dipping your scrotum in Odo's bucket while he's asleep gets you high.

In which a Kirk, Spock, Bones, and some random ensign with a beehive wig beam down to a planet where society has been based on @madeley.bsky.social's posts.

Yeah the crew are going to barbecue to death from exposure to interplanetary radiation leaving this guy, as @paulgcornish.bsky.social has pointed out before, screaming at invisible monkeys in a cosmic recasting of the end of Aguirre, The Wrath Of God.

“Av a bang on that ‘Astings me owd china… Some cunts been stabbed, claret all over the shop… what we thinking?”

Cometh the hour, cometh the man

"Those that wish to exclude Irish people from their spaces need to know how to do so. Those that wish to exclude Black people from their spaces need to know how to do so. Those that wish to exclude Jewish people from their spaces need to know how to do so."

mclusky are now singing this song so incomprehensibly that it will probably pass the rheol Gymraeg at the Eisteddfod soon - Pafilwn bookers take note, storied Cardiff legends potentially available for hire

Please say happy birthday to my favorite person who: I didn't sire; I wasn't sired by; doesn't share about 50% of my DNA; I haven't had sex with.

I mean not so much the Euro '96 England compilation album for me, obvs, but year, Fuzzy Logic and Everything Must Go coming out on the same day does indicate it might be, in terms of recorded music, the most significant day of my life.

And what a fucking year it was.

Watching Prince of Thieves, with my kid, for the first time since the 90s and not sure how I didn’t question then why a 12th century witch has a nightclub laser in her basement.

Can I shock you? I can see good reasons for the Greens to stand against Andy Burnham, and I can see good reasons for them not to, and I think the people who are really being buggered by all the politicking while smug arseholes oN bOTh SiDEs argue on social media is the folk in Makerfield.

He looks like a white collar criminal who'd wear a bluetooth headset in his penthouse office, yelling at his goons that the Batman is "just one man" even as one by one their knees and elbows shatter, seconds away from wetting himself while being dangled upside-down from a gargoyle.

I knew it was Bubbs before I even clicked on the link, and now you do too.

Just saw someone refer to a jump pack Chaplain as an Air Friar and holy shit that's good.

This might be the best thing (no pun intended oh ho ho ho) I've ever read on this godforsaken app.

Note to self: delete fucking Bluesky. Delete all socials and go live up the fucking hill, live up the hill with the animals, go fucking mad in the fucking woods, if it was good enough for Merlin it's fucking good enough for me

I keep trying to be scathingly clever about the kind of British Leftist tediously going on about pro-EU arguments coming down to middle class people wanting to go on skiing holidays but man I'm just fucking tired. Brexit almost wrecked the Good Friday Agreement. It's one in a long litany of actions-

When I say I get fed up of versions of the Arthurian legend that are based around a French writer's watered down load of bullshit, with his Mary Sue Frenchman boning a useless, basically English king's wife, when there's so much weirder, better things to adapt this thread is what I'm talking about.

RETVRN

FPTP is like The One Ring of politics in the UK. They know they need to destroy it, but once it's in their hands they think "Why shouldn't we keep it? We can use it for good!" and then everything goes dead-Boromir-shaped

Yes. YES. Cthulhu fhtagn. CTHULHU FHTAGN, A HAHAHA A HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Literally one second before @madeley.bsky.social removed my hat, dumped an entire bag of confetti on my head, and then replaced said hat.

All these groups turned out for Kamala in larger percentages than white women except Latino men & it was only by 2% and even then you must consider the number of white identifying Latino men to contextualize that 2%. This is silly anyway but the problem is white people. You should worry about that.

Americans doing British food discourse again, is it.

My artwork for the next edition of my “Universe” ‘zine. (IYKYK!) I would really appreciate it if you shared it.

Does Kal-El get neck problems from hunching all day to pose as Clark Kent? I know he's invulnerable, but he is compressing his spine with the strength of Superman. My orthopedist: I meant any questions about your treatment.

In Aaron Dembski-Bowden's Warhammer 40K novel Void Stalker, Xarl the Night Lord cracks his own skull headbutting a Genesis Chapter Space Marine to death with his bare forehead. Void Stalker isn't in that list of 100 greatest novels, thus immediately invalidating it.

oh no

Not many people know his full name

watching a vod from a streamer who has gone off on a tangent about their HOA and I am once again totally baffled that Americans allow their neighbours to tell them what colour they can paint their own doors. land of the nosey bastards

I won't lie, genuinely split between the hilarity of Burnham getting in and the ensuing leadership contest, or the hilarity of Burnham not getting in because of the Greens.

Through my own misunderstanding of what was deserved, I let a tuba band come to the nighttime swim meet.

A friend just sent me this perfect piece by Karel Čapek, trans. Dora Round, ‘From the Point of View of a Cat’.

@madeley.bsky.social dot jpg

Just said to my wife that depending on the course of the next twenty years, this week could well be the opening chapter of a new history of Wales, and she told me to shut the fuck up.

"Was anyone here bitten by a zombie and decided to keep it a secret?" "Who is going to make a doomed attempt to make a deal with the terrorists who have taken us hostage?" "Which of us betrayed humanity to the alien invasion in exchange for a senior position in the puppet government they install?"

I'm not saying this because I particularly think he should stand for leader but it does feel Quite Interesting that Labour actually has this other mayor who's been successfully running a much bigger city for a longer period of time but for some reason no one's waiting for him to save the party

Objectively, one of the funniest things Labour could do at this moment would be to parachute Andy Burnham into a safe Labour seat which they then lose at the by-election.

‘The trouble is, you see, that if you do know Right from Wrong you can’t choose Wrong. You just can’t do it and live.’ —Granny Weatherwax, via the word processor of Terry Pratchett (Maskerade)

...but saying that Starmer is better than a mendacious thug who has spent his career laughing at us all contemptuously isn't really much of a defense. At the end of the day I think we all voted for something different & Starmer didn't just fail to offer it to us, he refused to.

I kind of understand all the people who are baffled by the hatred Starmer gets, because I still believe that Johnson remains genuinely the worst human being to ever serve as PM. The part of me that's still furious about his callousness & lies doesn't want anyone to forget how bad he was...