Inventing an ice cream sundae with several flavours and a load of popcorn in it and calling it a Redenbacher Glory

This is funny but also like this feels like an ingenious approach to money laundering.

Spilled superglue on my thumb nail last night and now it’s an indestructible patch of shiny

Written by a very lonely researcher indeed.

I’m getting really tired of waiting for seventies shirt collars to make a comeback who do I talk to about getting this hurried along I want an infaesibly wide collar

lol I just got a literal pat on the back for this 😆

“Do you want to move the copilot button to the ribbon?” This is a definite step in the right direction in that it no longer has to just be “in the way or slightly less in the way” but no, Microsoft; what I’d like to do is to lock the copilot button in a box and throw that box in the fucking canal.

Among the dead, Davey Angel: Eco-Warrior.

Oh no. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Trev’s Top Tip: If you know someone getting ready for a driving test (in the UK), stop them watching videos about it. Almost all of them are fundamentally inaccurate, some are just wildly wrong. “But Trev, what do you know about it?”

lol lmao I reported an item on vinted that I assumed was probably fine from a rules point of view but it was right wing fash shit and it sucked so I reported just to be a rascal and inconvenience some asshole, but they’ve just emailed to say “yeah we’ve taken it down” 😆

As a cis woman who has experienced hypervigilance resulting from abuse by male partners, and knows how badly it affects your life, let me just say: transphobes fuck off

They’ve done well to hide the compressor

She was class in Futurama though.

Sonic is a revolutionary who goes around freeing small animals from literal bondage within a military industrial context, and aims to overthrow a dictator Mario serves monarchy and its interests while plundering natural resources and exterminating plants and animals in order to protect a status quo

Setting up an “ai” Peter thiel chatbot but it isn’t ai at all it just automatically replies “I just pissed myself, shat myself and sweated through a leather jacket, I am a primordial coward” irrespective of what you say to it

Charging for it.

YEE HAW - dashare.zone ADMIN

Thems of you who go to an gymn, how long is like… too short a time to spend there? I went the other day and only did like 20 minutes on the bike but I’m planning on going at least twice next week and doing at least the same again. I don’t pay per trip so like… that’s ok, right?

Done some painting!

Getting laid off 5 days before Christmas

Maggie was playing with my watch and I couldn’t see it, thought she’d dropped it down the back of the sofa. But no.

Throughout the film “This Sporting Life” they repeatedly refer to rugby as football, because it is. It’s rugby league football as much as what everybody insists on calling football is association football.

"Soccer" is fine. "Soccer" is not American for "football". "Soccer" is a perfectly acceptable word which has been used for well over a century all over the world, starting in England, including by this Scottish gentleman, who knew a thing or two about association football. #moveon

Mario

“…but enough about me, you had some kind of question about wine?”

So tired can’t sleep

I haven't seen much of that big scary fruit cunt Tesco were doing, anyone know what's happened to him

funder

I’d 100% watch this but it would be even funnier if the attempts failed for reasons other than his being superman. Just a wetwork team of absolute buffoons constantly fucking up the simplest missions that would work on anybody other than superman, that would be great.

I'm going to start a new political party. It's called Shut The Fuck Up and Feed People. "But what if they're on drugs?" Shut The Fuck Up And Feed People "Or not really THAT poor?" Shut The Fuck Up And Feed People "What if they have a phone and nice nails?" SHUT THE FUCK UP AND FEED PEOPLE

Remember that old galaxy advert with the lady in the brown dress and a greetings card that just says “galaxy” in it? That dress had pockets. Pockets for keeping a bar of galaxy in.

Okay, gang. There is gonna be a desire to dunk on the Yanks who spent all week on here banging on about AC. DC is a heavily ethnically and economically segregated city, roughly 50/50, on a north/south divide. The people who are gonna suffer in this heatwave are not the people on the north side.

I had a joke answer to this but it’s so unpleasant that I don’t want to post it 😆

Lösungen für alle Probleme

Gogle

A funny way of spelling “The country is in the grip of an extreme rightwing offensive against the very concept of toleration”, but you do you, Guardian.

I robot sure made some weird decisions huh

I watched two films! Both miserable, both very churchy. Calvary (2014) First Reformed (2017)

My dear holy god they’ve cracked it. They’ve solved food and money forever. How could we all have been so blind?

You’ve forced your last dragon.

I feel warmer now than I did when it was 5° warmer and 2% humider what the fuck

A supplier of easy-on underwear in varying colours and styles to the clergy of Greater Manchester: Eccles Eclectic Ecclesiastical Elasticals

It must’ve been so easy to do cybercrime when the boomers were the primary office presence. Just send an email with the subject “Re: Meeting” and an attachment called “impotrantdoxumens.exe” and you could have free rein over an entire accounting company.

It’s just occurred to me that it’s probably easy to get through to Musk’s office phone because his extension number is definitely either 1488 or 69420.