The good thing about the new council leader looking the way he does is that if you want to imagine him getting smashed in the face by a fuckin goose made out of ballistics gel, you don’t have to! You can just watch it! youtu.be/2RIEPKEhE2s?...

Here we fucking go lads!

My hope that Starmer resigns in disgrace is, as always, a compromise position Who’s to say what I really want him to do? Not me, on the advice of my legal team, that’s for sure.

I think of all the things that annoy me about this Labour government, this is the most annoying. The combination of the secrecy and how draconian it is. It isn't on any of the deep fried fucking jpegs is it.

Can you imagine if politicians weren’t allowed to use the word “deliver” or any of its conjugations any more? They’d be completely lost.

It’s time for another new book!

Every centrist account today giving it “the only viable candidate for prime minister now is this flawed clone of Peter mandelson that has nine eyes and two arseholes but only one ear”

How quickly do you think it’ll take a post-resignation Keith Starmer to take up a role at gb news? I think we should have a sweepstake and I’m going to open the bidding at nine days.

Reject modernity, embrace tradition:

Nationalise Codemasters, remake TOCA 2: Touring Cars

EBay’s “ready to resell” function is really fucking me off. I bought those things to own them would you ever fuck off with your bullshit investor house-flipping profiteering nonsense

No

Man who loudly and visibly shit his pants tells fellow shoppers he will ‘get on with shopping for a new three piece suite’.

Hughie don’t be a fackin cant

Had to buy yet another olden days component to make operation digital copy of grandad’s interview a reality and every day that goes by increases the chances that I accidentally wipe this precious, tiny cassette tape.

“Effed it, lads”

Davey’s been using my old tennis racquet for his tennis lessons and I wasn’t sure if it’d still be structurally sound. Turns out it was fine but there was a new and unexpected problem.

Nigel Farage: I want to deport all non-white people Zack Polanski: I want poor people to have more money Keir Starmer: Both of these people are the same. I am very smart.

For those of you who don't know, each of those 16 keyboxes represents a home that someone once called home in the heart of the Old Town, and which is now somewhere a visitor pays an absentee landlord £400 to stay in for two nights. Through AIRBnB.

Midnight feast in the form of a bacon, spinach and tomato sandwich which is fantastic and better than a BLT but answer me this: why does BST sound so fuckin disgusting as a sandwich name?

Have a nice cup of tea and fuck the haters. Love you.

I’d quite like one that says something like “revolutionary overthrow”.

Ahhh, oooo, such boldness, I have put these four new nonfigurative free ranging drawing type things on my website under the Concoctions subheading (you’ll be relieved to learn) www.chloecumming.com/concoctions

Life was easier when you could express your support for a cause by wearing a rubber bracelet

Have any of you any experience with those after-market cushions for office chairs? I absolutely hate my chair, it’s apparently from a design line called “memories of padding”.

At one point Father Chad asked if any of us on the tour were from West Yorkshire, because Thompson had worked in Leeds. My dad and I raised our hands. He then said “well I’m sorry to tell you that he hated Leeds”, and without looking at each other we both said “so do we!”.

CW food, meat: And here he is enjoying a BLT.

Here’s Davey discovering a well hidden mouseman mouse, and also looking through a carving.

If I got a whole set of Biggles books handed in to my second-hand bookshop I would also choose this one to put in the window

I finished sorting my bike out and I’ve just taken it on a very very short ride, literally once around the block, and now I think I’m going to die.

It doesn’t.

"We don't want no Scrubs. Scrubs is a show that has returned to TV. It's about some silly doctors and their fun hijinks. The main guy is called J.D."

You should know I'm not fascinated by the keys you're jingling in front of me because I'm a baby. It's intellectual for me. I'm contemplating the nature of the keys

Class.

Just hearing my grandad Eddy’s voice for the first time this century.

No thank you

It helped a little

My new tshirt arrived while we were out and I COULD. NOT. BE. HAPPIER.

We have been to Ampleforth Abbey today and met two monks and saw loads of mouseman furniture.

This is one of the best things I’ve ever seen

Found an even more upsetting blobby than blobby noir.

I want this.

Do you ever wonder if you’ve been Blake’s Sevened and you’re actually a dangerous radical who can’t remember my past I mean your past? No? No me neither I’m cool I’m normal I’m just hanging out with you guys.

Can I come and live in wales please

For the sake of clarity I am sometimes merciful

Like a klan member hit by that shit from Annihilation