New nickname for Nigel Farage.

The absolute worst JOI you’ve ever heard

Olympic trampolining but the medals just go to the team who the judges think had the most fun

How many times a day do you think a crane operator sings “I’m siiiingin in the crane, just siiiingin in the crane…”?

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, still shame on you. Stop trying to fool me, you wanker.

RFK Jr. Denies Ever Laying Eggs In Olivia Nuzzi https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-denies-ever-laying-eggs-in-olivia-nuzzi/

Look it's me and some of our incredible miniatures on display at an ART GALLERY! Thanks 20-21 Gallery for including us in Art in Miniature a couple years back. Confirmation these minis are art! Get some of your own here www.badsquiddogames.com We make women & guinea pigs & turkey men & everything!

DJ Popái

“I’m a H, double-O D/ Low-life scum/ That’s what they say about me”

An Australian pub chain called Wetherknives.

When I get the aux cable:

I feel certain I’m in there.

You guys wanna see a picture of my jade pendant thing? I’m like 40% certain it isn’t cursed.

And this is why I use jasmine soap because fuck smelling like capitalism wants me to

My phone gave me one of those "day in the life" emotional updates and it ended in the best way possible ☺️

There’s a thing on bbc news talking about some bird which is known as “the pirate of the seas” and I’m sorry but aren’t pirates the pirates of the sea?

I once met someone at a dinner party who shouted at me when I said I’d been clay pigeon shooting and after a while of them being real mad at me it turned out they’d been labouring under the misconception that the clay pigeon is a kind of bird, like the wood pigeon.

A good chunk of the British political and media class are still huge fans of Harry Potter because the actual message of the text; that some people are simply better than others and deserve to rule over (and even enslave) others appealed to them as kids and still appeals to them now.

Spider-Man 2: “Hey so we’re going to be doing a demonstration of a brand new, untested, revolutionary form of nuclear energy tomorrow, wanna come?” “Sure, is it at some secure location or underground lab?” “No it’s just going to be in my flat.”

Nature: Here look, this is hydrogen, it’s an incredibly versatile clean burning fuel. Humanity: No it’s ok we have all these filthy dirty fossil fuels for that. Tell you what, we’ll fill a big bag with this new, highly explosive gas and use it to fly around. Nature: Wait no stop

We’re missing out on all kinds of fizzy savoury liquids. Where’s the mayonnade? Where’s the fizzysoisse? The Gas-pacho? There are probably more.

Davey, in the car yesterday: “dad, can I say one of my lines from the Christmas play?” Me: “yeah of course you can mate.” Davey: “JESUS CHRIST!”

If the so-called Paw Patrol were established in the UK, someone would point out that as a reactive emergency service, the do not patrol anything, and would therefore be prosecuted under the auspices of the Trades Descriptions Act 1968, and hopefully put out of business for good.

People say that standards of customer service are slipping but that’s only because nobody takes the time to learn the “May I help you riff” any more.

Just got these uploaded to my Etsy please clap peloriastudio.etsy.com/listing/4410...

It’s been a while since I’ve seen it but if I remember rightly they never name the city, the team is just referred to as “city”, but because the matches were filmed at Belle Vue, the scoreboard (seen below) very much says “Wakefield” on it.

My mum’s going to make me some gloves for Christmas and I have to measure my hands. She’s just sent me a picture of where I need to measure and good lord this confused me briefly.

A movie that takes place where you are from:

Would you just look at this beautiful poorly little girl

I’m really glad Kenny was the KACL station manager they decided to keep. I like Kenny.

regular brain: cunt is sexist because only women have them big brain: anyone can be a cunt regardless of who has one galaxy brain: MEN CAN BOTH HAVE AND BE CUNTS

You absolute…

I would never recover from this.

I have had my first Wendy’s burger today. It was fine.

I thought the bottle said prion and I think from context you can see why I thought that

Anyone in Würzburg? The St Andreas church in Sanderau is empty at the moment as it was used as a movie set last week. Without the benches, the stunning brutalist architecture is even more striking. You can really appreciate the light and shadow effects from the huge skylights. #brutalist

Boom boom boom boom We're in the Pharaoh's tomb We're not to touch the items But they look so inviting Boom boom boom boom We've freed eternal doom I'm po-ssessed by a spirit I re-leased from the tomb

Tell me you’ve never read Transmetropolitan without et cetera

lol comma lmfao

If you're confused by this let me help; the president has no actual convictions or scruples, he's a nihilistic megalomaniac who agrees with the last person to have complimented him. That's it.

These are the yeerks that the yeerk in his brain is going to make him put in the brains of the people behind him.

Hooray!

Look at this absolute bounder.

wild how studies keep making the shocking discovery that giving people money in a capitalist society materially helps them, then going "naaaah, we can't do that it's communism lol"

every time a community tests ubi or free housing for the homeless the result is always "holy fuck this works incredibly well and costs less than existing solutions!" and then every politician alive does this

A haddock