Oof

It’s easy to get through the strait of Hormuz safely, even in this area with strong harmonic resonance, which means we can’t use the mine detector. When Mantis dove into Meryl’s mind, she was able to see where the mines were placed. Then the boat just follows her footprints. Job done.

Sensational self-own from the Telegraph

*pulling on my jeans from the 90s* let me at those oil fields, i got dis

They’re here 💜

I am so fucking bored

Wish I had some chow mein

I've just had an amazing idea

CEOs weighing in on the Strait of Hormuz:

Ugh fuckin ai

All we need to do is to get a magician to make the oil disappear and then they can fly to the other side of the peninsula and then produce it from behind someone’s ear, and then it can be put in boats safely.

“Niles! Our sweet and edible facials! Run!”

Is. Is EA-Nasir on Vinted?!?! #reallyshittycopper #eanasir @alistaircoleman.bsky.social :)

I don’t think Keith should resign I think he should be forcibly removed.

Pitch an unnecessary sequel Sorcerer 2: We Need the Lorry Back

There’s a smell of spray paint at work which isn’t an unusual smell for me, I was spraying last night, but whatever it is they’re using it smells precisely like the games workshop in the white rose centre in 1999.

American Dennis the Menace was a little scamp who occasionally messed up his neighbour’s garden. British Dennis the Menace is wanted for a variety of offences under the terrorism act 2006.

since Warhammer makes up about 75% of the UK economy & most British bank notes will go through their tills at some point anyway, why not just stick Khorne, Tzeentch, Slaanesh & Nurgle on them & be done with it? Fuck it, reintroduce £100 notes, stick rat boy on it & that’s wildlife ticked off too

AI chads using straight lines on maps to “solve” problems and asking “is this anything” as if they’re us Brits in the 1800s. Honestly.

I can’t sleep and I am so fucking tired

Please someone watch this with the sound on and tell me I’m not crazy for thinking this is really funny

“hYpNoSiS bOoBiEs” yeah yeah whatever remember when David Cameron fucked a pig’s head? THAT was worth talking about.

Get in!!!!!! Kneecap: 3 Brit Govt: 0 The worlds biggest terrorists are the leaders of the British state. Free Palestine Free the 6 counties

idk gang I just think it's weird that this kind of "scrutiny" appears for some people and not others especially when we've already seen antisemitic attacks from the press aimed at Polanski without the "better" members of the press wanting to upset their peers much to think about

Weird that the media establishment is bending over backwards to try and paint the only Jewish political leader, and *only* him, as being untrustworthy isn't it Seem to think there's a name for that kind of behaviour 🤔

If you think the boob hypnosis thing is bad, wait till you hear what the other party leaders have been up to

Fuck winston churchill, long life the badger and his glorious reign

We’re just normal men.

This is dope

Brian Cox looks like Glynn Nimron

I think I’d like to do Minnie the Moocher at karaoke.

WAHEYYYYY

Look into the eyes of a chicken and you will see real stupidity. It is a kind of bottomless stupidity, a fiendish stupidity. They are the most horrifying, cannibalistic and nightmarish creatures in the world.

Fair play, 'the mad emperor started compulsively buying shoes for his court, guessing their foot size & his courtiers were too scared not to wear them even when they didn't fit' is some classic, on the nose End Days Of The Empire stuff

If you see this post a robot

As we approach the sixth (6th) anniversary of me stopping smoking, I’ve decided to make the following covenant. I will not start smoking again except in the following conditions- Extreme personal distress Revolution in which I am an active member

The only one that springs to mind is when I was blocked by UKIP for replying “sad trombone” to their optimistic pre-election posts.

I’ve been tasked with finding out from the headmiller how much bran there is in one of the bran bins which has led to: How much bran could a bran bin hold if a bran bin could hold bran?

If you want national heroes and also wildlife you should just have the animals of farthing wood

In which Commander John Koenig, leader of Moonbase Alpha, demonstrates an extremely cost-effective radiation shield that Victor doesn’t think will work.

Tickets are £100 or eighty for cash

Today I asked ministers to deny* that the number of jury acquittals in protest cases was a factor in the Government’s dangerous attack on jury trials. *They did not do this

I say bring back rubber charity bracelets.

I wish I had some nice bread and some pesto

In which Commander John Koenig, leader of Moonbase Alpha, demonstrates an extremely cost-effective radiation shield that Victor doesn’t think will work.

I have been playing Viewfinder and it’s great, it’s like Portal but cleverer and without the exhausting fanbase.

Civ V poasting will never die