it's cool when you're in a parking lot at an airport at midnight and the massive dipshit SUV parked facing your car has their massive dipshit headlights on just for fun

tfw it's healthy to literally sprint away from an anxiety-inducing scenario

HONNNNNNK HONKHONKHONK

wemvp :)

ohhhh these guys are playin BASKETBALL

*Extremely South Tejas vibes*

food i've made lately

Pundits coming in hot with the sober, measured take that all of us abandoning the social media site they lean on for way too much material is problematic for democracy

The difference between having a cat and having a dog is staggering. Having a dog is like having child who’s disgusting. Having a cat is like having a painting that’s mad at you.

My fav Samuel Pepys quote is "play sucked shit but there were some primo babes so it's all good brother"

Have you considered simply acting like someone worthy of human love and affection?

Hi! The perverse desire to "evenhand" things by rehabilitating past and lingering evils is a major reason we're here today! Get a fucking grip!

i honestly don't think i can be friends with people who aren't funny. we can be friendly but there's no way it goes deeper, someone unfunny will never understand me

The dogs in Where the Red Fern Grows

bought myself a gift :)

thank you for the invite but i'll be busy dwelling on my personal failings that evening

had a nice saturday :)

Fun gamer fact: Killing me won't bring her back.

first they came for the credit scores

why can't we make an ai that recognizes when i'm autofilling my name into a field and doesn't put a space after it. that's a robot i wouldn't put in the ground

Is that butter? No it's ghee. Oh thanks for clarifying

a "double-double" when you're 43 and in culinary school is when you get a double espresso to carry you through your double lecture at 7am bc you stayed up late watching basketball

PURO PINCHE WEMBY

oh the honking tonight is gonna POP OFF

Sitting these teams down and explaining that it is a school night

truly anything can happen when you’re hooping

quoth the raven, “what a fucking shot by wembanyama”

encountering a fun new bug with Word (don't tell me it sucks, I know, but it's what my school operates on) where I can print one bit of a document and then have to close it, delete the file, and re-download it to print anything else from said document

ate one single piece of cold meat and now i've had the hiccups for 25 minutes, bodies suck

Guy with visible stink lines: the birth rate,

RIVALS is back and super horny!!! let's fuckin go

Got a notification from a medieval copyright lawyer

having a tough time controlling the heat, but grilling chicken & it looks preeeeety goooood

Got a Blades in the Dark-adjacent tattoo on my chest

singing out "saaaan antooooonioooo" on Alamo St and hearing the young guys behind me chorus "where we roll where we roll" is maybe a highlight of my life

R.I.P. JUNIPER BLESSING.

the bar we're watching the Spurs at gave the loudest fan a drum to bang, this city owns

Leave our babies alone you fucking monsters.

ME, ADVISING THE KING & HIS WAR COUNCIL: My lord, the Duke of Pelagia is openly fermenting rebellion in the south. Something must be done. A message must be sent WAR COUNCIL GROUP CHAT: 🤔 "fermenting rebellion"?? 🫢 this mf said fermenting rebellion 😂 fermenting rebellion headass 🤣 fermenting lmao

now that it's not 2011 on twitter can i just say that sexology isn-- *a giant windows 8 logo materializes and bounces off my head, causing me to disintegrate*

my other husband did it better imo

ONE MORE thing that could be better, ONE MORE tweak. If people really cared about fixing typos they'd learn to proofread their own stuff. Typos aren't the end of the world, ESPECIALLY on ephemeral social media. Editing features only play to insecurities and misinformation. ...

i’ve been thinking of what could even be said about such a tragedy. someone said it best that trans people are “born so late and die so young”. we uproot our lives and transition and live more life than anyone else ever does and society punishes us for it. we deserve better

Good news, everyone www.cnn.com/2026/05/14/h...

Today in Kherson, Ukraine, WCK and UN vehicles were attacked while delivering food to families in need. Read WCK's and our founder José Andrés' statement on what happened and why the world must pay attention: wck.org/news/wck-veh... #ChefsForUkraine

World Central Kitchen will be returning to cooking the amount of meals we delivered in Gaza before the ceasefire in October. Read our full statement here: wck.org/news/wck-to-return-gaza-operations-to-pre-ceasefire-levels-amid-funding-challenges/ #ChefsForGaza

it's pool weather btw :)

every post about how Texas sucks just makes me stronger but i sure would love to see fewer of em anyway

Blessed image