we've gone too far

nothing like traffic to get you revving up some untested insult combos, like "mendacious churl" or "hobble-footed pissant"

being a rich tech guy in the 90s must have been so sick. every morning you start a web page that sells ring tones, sell it at lunch for 2 million dollars, get dinner at a “sushi” restaurant and go to a night club wearing a cologne called Apartheid Sapphire

COWORKER: so this is an SDS, a System Design Specification ME: shit dracula says, got it

well now that we've wrapped up THAT holly jolly fuckfest

you want to do away with the bludgeoning passersby industry? ok. so i guess you can provide new jobs for all the unemployed bludgeoners, bludgeon manufacturers AND a skyrocketing number of passersby?? dream on

Happy holidays, folks. I hope next year is a little kinder.

Steam servers detonated because my Christmas gift games shopping was too thoughtful and brilliant

Tim Boxell #1982 rb.gy/cpl0tt rb.gy/ltrfre

commemorating my plaque in honor of tooth decay

getting high enough that I'm thinking, what is this connection I'm feeling... between tool and steely dan... it must be that they are both powerful philosophers

aflutter when my steely dan reverie is disturbed

my wonderful christmastime is going to be COMPLICATED AS FUCK thank you very much

I was Avatar's strongest soldier in the group chat but seeing Fire and Ash was like seeing Hometree burned to the ground. James Cameron what the fuck are you doing! rehashing the previous installment in the franchise about seeing incredibly cool new shit!!??

One of my big "they don't make anime like they used to" old fan complaints is that Cool Computer screens are a dying art

Why do I keep having to see this guy on the news.

we've lost our religious values as a society. whatever happened to getting smashed and doing some good old-fashioned fucking in the name of dionysus

not sure why I'm sure but I'm DAMN sure that whoever named "woodwinds" was horny

Captain I've been turned into a marketable cube

*pitching bbno$ on a christmas album* it's the time of year for christmas vibin santa old as fuck like biden but he still out there reindeer ridin at the mall taking requests i'm finna get mine in

"horseshoe theory" is real but only for the cringe-to-ironic spectrum

ska... good! good!! mmhemhm

devastated to discover that my close personal friend, Black Rectangle, is so prominent in the Epstein files

my cats have seen more bad dancing than any human could endure

I’m gonna need Evey woo girl in a bar neighborhood to chill out until It Happens because you’re really getting my hopes up every time you get excited

upgrading my home security by installing some adventure game puzzles. to get into my bedroom you now need to orient the bejeweled claw in the kitchen to the correct runes

Reports say Dr Ruth came back to life and is talking about something called “Dark Sex”

what demon is driving people to calculate this information

I don't know how well regarded Aura Battler Dunbine is in the Tomino canon, but I do know that every time someone in a tunic pulls out a Glock I lose my mind

me when my partner pretends not to have heard my affectionate love chirps

☺️

my brain melted together all the weekend's violent horror and made me dream I was watching "Yak Squad," a Nickelodeon Kablaam-esque claymation show about alien brain slugs gruesomely massacring the Earth. thank god my coping mechanisms have brand potential

at the nursing home you're gonna have to pick whether they shove you in the Friends wing or the Seinfeld wing

The two kinds of people you meet online

I would never make it in the film industry. I would be the producer doing things that "made sense" like turning down the Wachowskis because they're talking to me about Japanese cartoons and they want to film people in leather fetish wear with forty cameras simultaneously

pg&e blew up a house in Hayward and sent six people to the hospital but hey, at least no one died like in San Bruno. this is definitely a company that should continue to exist

Miss Piggy I would make you so much happier than Geoff Keighley please think about this

imagine how different the world would be if instead of using "bananas" or "nuts" for crazy stuff we used other fruits or legumes, like, "wow that shit is pineapples." I mean I guess that would be the only difference, that's inherent to the premise, so... not that different. imagine though

Pete Hegseth angrily holding up a volume of One Piece: oh now the left doesn't like pirates?

YOU: *fling the One Ring into the fires of Mt Doom* ME: that’s not going to poll well with the median voter

from the Discord files

anime... is good

what's that? jealous? understandable. this hoodie delivers the infinite luxury of velour

luv 2 blow a horn to let people know reinforcements are arriving, thus symbolizing the return of hope itself to our cause

more from Panzer World Galient: it rules when a show doesn't want to show any blood, so instead they show a character death via writhing disintegration in a field of unearthly light. way less traumatizing for the kids watching

who the hell keeps exposing my machinations

the villain of Panzer World Galient hangs out naked in an enormous bong to "expand his perception" and honestly, goals

I don’t give a fuck if my troops get encircled im a cool general