taking my best dude to Unctuous Burger

leading minds have called my prose "altman-esque"

Me and four other guys just got super pissed at Jackie Chan. We are going to all kick him at once

— Babe? You're flashing green, the universal color of poison damage. What's wrong?? — Y-you fool . . . Poison is . . . (cough) . . . purple . . . I'm dying of . . . an acid elemental status condition . . *

new National Treasure movie where Nic Cage is tracking down the bell from the original taco bell. the secret constitutional amendments are written on it

it's diabolical work to give a really good mua-ha-ha to a really not good villain performance

Former Pixar employee u/PixelatedRonin fires back at chief creative officer Pete Docter on Reddit over claims on LGBT storyline cut from 'Elio' (2025):

Pixar is basically doing what Target did, but to the creative process

watching Zeta Gundam for the first time, trying to figure out if people violently slapping each other every episode is like part of the messaging or just how Tomino thinks normal human interaction works

as a woke white guy, even when I'm watching a movie alone, if a character drops a surprise n-word I do a shocked gasp to stay in practice

eventually, ecologically, the sheer number of content creators will enable the existence of content destroyers

i'm finding out some fucked-up stuff happened in history?? no one was gonna tell me???

normally I appreciate fidelity in adaptation but if you're doing a movie based on a play, you get a free pass from me for the characters to decide they want to go walkies instead of hanging out in one room the whole time

Imagine being mad that your daughter is a genius

condi heard american bombs exploding in the middle east and floated to the white house the way a cartoon character is summoned by pie on a windowsill

bedeviling my local community by constructing the first vertical format movie theater

ZERO

I rebuke Founder Mindset weed. That’s not weed that’s homework

restaurant manager: hey so, sorry to bother you, but is that a service animal? it's just, we have a policy- jabba the hutt: je wonna wonga, bazda wahota shonga salacious b crumb: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA restaurant manager: ah. ok. cool

*flips around chair* you know who else got "roman canceled"

If your bread has seeds in it just admit you're a member of the petite bourgeoisie

me and the homies walking out of the A Better Tomorrow screening

I'm no academic, but the claim that a tool that parrots a resemblance of analysis it's seen before is functionally equivalent to your standard of peer review, that seems like telling on yourself in severe fashion

Jim Woodring

*patting hideous neck wound* this was a gift from dracula, lord of all vampires, if you know, most people don't. he said i had the best blood he ever tasted, and that guy's the expert. the dirty dems are saying i've become Dracula's thrall when they're the ones in thrall to china. very sad

“I vant…to smoke…your veed.” - weed dracula

cinephile who tries hard drugs but only so they can appreciate drug addiction movies more

the "Cult film" article on Wikipedia is a lot of words for the concept that some people like movies that general audiences don't

fantasy sci-fi 🤝 some bullshit with crystals

can't help but wonder what the fuck the people who DON'T have insider information are doing betting on this shit. who is a stupid enough fish? you're not even betting against the house, you're betting against a guy who picks his hand from the deck

Thinking tonight of a specific set of comissions Art Adams did once of astoundingly detailed interconnected murals of enormous babes beating the brakes off of C-tier kaiju from Godzilla and Ultraman. Nobody does it better!

siege of leningrad style map but showing the açaí berries' two decade long encirclement of st louis

waking up from a relaxing sleep, stretching, singing merrily to the birds on my windowsill before I look up current events

i could have have gone on for pages in a lower-case dreamlike ramble about why modern pixar is a dead tree soaked to the root in herbicide. a bleached bathroom tile on the tongue letterboxd.com/saltliquor/f...

壁紙

GAMEFREAK NEO: why does my environmental modeling team hurt GAMEFREAK MORPHEUS: you've never used them before

Asimov's Fourth Law of Robotics: Have fun!

trudging through the bad times requires a certain cynicism, yet effecting change requires optimism. therefore I believe that a better world is possible and that once we attain it I will immediately keel over dead and not get to enjoy it

Wanted to share the ending to the classic SNES beat ‘em up X-men Mutant Apocalypse where everyone finds someone to have sex with except for Wolverine

every time some dumb motherfucker talks about "warrior ethos" in the armed forces I want them to have to demonstrate their "warfighting" in a Dynasty Warriors training event where forty men with halberds simultaneously beat their ass

ME: any evil I will do it. any dick I will suck. anything you ask, my master INTERVIEWER: ME: while being professional and maintaining the company's high reputational standards, of course INTERVIEWER: of course

Nothing makes a bed more comfortable than having somewhere to be

Here’s some Craig LaRotonda art to make your Tuesday a little better.