Some days are diamonds. Most days are rocks.

I'd rather be me than you.

Slept till 7 and woke up in a state of bliss. What's up with that?

"Truth is treason in an empire of lies." -George Orwell, 1984

I burn bridges because I can swim.

It's an eminence front.

Just exercised the gaskets in my powder room.

Gotta go Krogering today. Mucho vittles needed.

if eaten this poison apple will cause you to sleep forever [me already finished] please could i have another

Luzardo pitched beautifully, until he didn't.

I love Lauren Shehadi.

it’s fine, i wouldn’t want to talk to me either

Bury me in freshly ground coffee beans.

Love me some Cake.

How happy could a camper be?

Religion. It's a mental illness.

brb gotta smoke my meds

It doesn't matter where you've been as long as it was deep, yeah.

Third eye leaky.

We never see eephus pitches anymore.

Dad says I can own a lib when I'm old enough to take care of it by myself

I was sentenced to life outside of prison.

One man's trash is another man.

Ever take your phone outside and lay it down on the driveway and run over it?

Rootin' for a Detroit vs. Cincinnati World Series. ⚾️

Wish I knew how to cook, just not enough to learn how.

All these American golfers have to do is win 8 matches and tie the other 3. 🤣🤣🤣

Gonna mosey on out into the pine forest. I'm in need of greenery and touching grass and the peace of it all. ✌️

Who are all these people that can't bend over to put their shoes on?

I'd get that record deal if I had backup singers in my shower with me.

I wish I was like you. Easily amused.

Dawgs at 7:30, nap now.

jurassic perk (not living at the same time as humans)

Europe is opening up a can of European whoop ass on the homeboys.

Shut the door baby, don't say a word.

These Americans can't buy a putt. Choke city.

Why so many humans stupid

Nick Faldo is so good at this. ⛳️

I don't wanna hold her down. I don't wanna break her crown.

Fox News. OAN, Nessmaxx RAN have only one job To gin up white people against POC

I can achieve anything I set my mind to unless it’s slightly inconvenient.

Notah Begay adds absolutely nothing to this Ryder Cup broadcast.

These American golf fans at the Ryder Cup are really showing their asses, plus a lack of golf knowledge. ⛳️

Now you're just somebody that I used to know.

Just got your text. Are we still on for last night?

Europe kickin ass at the Ryder Cup and I'm here for it.

Imagine an America in which we put aside all prejudices and politics so that 99% of us go after the 1% that exploits us all. 💥

What a fucked up time to be alive.

How great are beds

It’s so depressing watching the dumbest people in America drive this country into a ditch …. Again