If you had to hang out with Alexander the Great I doubt you’d like him

I‘ve received word that the MAGA coffee shop in our area is open on Christmas. Thank you, business tyrant

I’m like a truffle pig except for identifying Basque people. Literally never wrong about it

This is how we’re dressing in 2026

The Email of the Year Awards

Xi Jinping, sir, my family and I would also like access to the deep water port of Gwadar

Imagine how much better off the world would be if we lived in Neil Breen’s demented universe

Welp! I've been ordered to pay 100 camels. FML

Can't say I ever expected to see a "That Font was No Angel" headline. But here we are.

8yo got me a gift from his school’s holiday shop “because you like the band phish”

Shattering the previous record of 4:02

I just read a very long article on a hot button topic of our time and now not only do I know everything, I look down with pity on those who do not

I wish I were one of those people with a border running straight through their house

I've worked hard to develop this flat effect

In A Big Country is the most Canadian-sounding song that isn’t Canadian

What does this mean?

Who named this airport? Slimer?

The cyclist youtuber I'm following on a journey across Africa got prevented from traveling independently in the Algerian Sahara by the authorities. 10 years ago we had to arrange our trip through a tour company for the same reason and I'm glad to see it wasn't an unnecessary measure

Just found an old file where an illustrator friend combined me and Lu in a strange hybrid creature

Today on here reminds me of Old Twitter where everyone would post all day about something I could care less about, in this case, James Bond

I bet if you just received and entered 2FA codes all day long you’d get really good at it

I bet the surface of Venus isn't that bad

or land or bloom

There is no information about North Korea I haven't already read or watched. I know everything

lmao

(Upon seeing someone’s obvious viewpoint) I‘m kind of an empath

I kind of wish I were a Chinese laborer. And before you yell at me, it's because I'd get to live and work in all kinds of interesting countries

Eating an enormous plate of Indian food while floating in the pool

I feel bad for Rumpelstiltskin in the story

It really is hard to overstate how surreal the four seasons landscaping thing was. Like the stars aligning and our world and the 30 Rock world briefly intersecting for a time.

(interrupting small child singing) Yeah, i know what a teapot looks like, thanks

Gym 🔹Tan 🔹Laundry

What was it about Fleetwood Mac that so many members lost their marbles?

I’m very proud of my northwest Montana Strava heat map

Imagine waking up one morning and you could only speak and understand Etruscan

I love the line of women’s clothing that is like I’M A HUGE BITCH FUCK YOU

The antipode of my house is very close to Kerguellen Island. Cool

I just heard someone scream “Gavin Newsome should purchase the heaviest commercially available coat and walk into the ocean!” Guys, first of all I’m trying to nap! Secondly, that seems impractical

I haven't normalized anything. Stop blaming me

Just overheard “Out of all of her husbands I knew, he was the worst.” I need a number here

I’ve got my oversized bugs bunny tee and marijuana leaf sweatpants on and I am all ready to go out in public

Damn this mfer a pimp

When Nostradamus said 'There will be a great difficulty' man, that cat was on to something

I love when someone starts rattling off a long list of blues or jazz musicians

Just rolls right off the tongue

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