We have one of those Beast blenders so my wife goes “Do you know where the Blade of the Beast is”

Don't need the letters but I do need a decent quality Quieres Ser Mi Novia poster

Congratulations to Korean, 2026’s Language Isolate of the Year

I would like to remind the jury that my client Dort is innocent of Kimwolf botmastery until proven Owned

Today I discovered a new, quicker route to a decomposing couch left atop a large forested hill

(Watching a video) this thing's gonna go viral

Here's my impersonation of a geography youtube account

Someone was havin a little fun in the forest with the backhoe(?)

I feel a canada visit coming on. I can’t stay away for too long

If I wanted to talk about twitter id go back to twitter. This is bluesky. We talk about bluesky here. And it sucks

I‘m so sick of being set up on horrible blind dates by my matchmaker bestie. But I know a way out. I need a fake boyfriend…and fast!

Drawn down reservoir

it took me too long to realize that this was "horseshit" censored and not new slang i didn't know about yet where "horses" meant bad

Dan Aykroyd had an impressive run of truly terrible films from ~late 80s to early 90s for a well regarded, A-list comedy actor

Sure enjoy living in a time where someone posts an AI image with the caption ”It’s over for all of us. We’re finished. Completely cooked. Every human being is now obsolete“ and we’re all supposed to [reaction unclear]

i found this 2-second .avi file I recorded while climbing Mt. Washington in winter 2012 that makes it look like I died on some expedition in the '60s. may have been recorded on a blackberry

I deeply hate the clickbait wordification of everything now. I can rattle of a list of much, much worse police states off the top of my head

lmao these are two separate ads

I caught our food-obsessed lab puppy counter surfing and gobbling raw mustard greens 😑

Bear cams in two months so I'm gonna start my annual BEAR OF THE DAY countdown!! Gonna thread these so they're all in one place this time. Get ready 🐻🐻🐻🐻 #katmai

I see we've selected the Turkmenistan model for our cult of personality autocracy bsky.app/profile/kris...

I know I'm the 10 zillionth person to point this out but if the reptiles running our country want us to have so many babies maybe they should stop snickering live on camera about how no one is going to have a job in 5 years

My theory is that the skeptical and easily-irritated have existed in every age since the dawn of time but we don't hear about them because they didn't read or write. Like there were definitely tons of Egyptians who did not think cats were gods

I cannot believe I am stuck working when I could be outside right now leveling our front yard with the curb so we can spread the 10 tons of gravel sitting in our driveway

I hate the phrase 'understood the assignment.'

Ok fine I admit it. I'm backing the M23 rebels

I think we can cool it on protein for a while. Everyone’s getting enough. Let’s all calm down

Paused MAD MEN while Ted Chaough’s partner was in the hospital and the HBO Max interstitial ad made it look like his dying wish was for a Whopper.

I say this as someone who writes 15,000 to 20,000 words a week: skill issue. It takes practice to write! You need to write more! Writing make you think better! More word do better thought! Then think more good thought and word better!

I enjoy ‘flying under the radar’ in all aspects of my life

I'm really loving how fucking stupid everyone is now. 'Oh wow, I invented mixing protein in a bowl with rice, it's the hot new trend!' It must be so fun to not be aware of the world five feet away from your dumb face

secondly, these guys are unwittingly(?) making the most convincing argument for AI to date. could a machine statistically putting together plausible-sounding answers to questions run the country better than these people? the fact that this is not clear one way or the other is worrying

Amanda "Plan-a-Canal" Panama

🛏️🪽

Haha

Ficus

🎵the world is a vampire / im gonna ride it all night long 🎵

GOALS

Breaking: TV star Pamela Anderson marries rocker Tommy Lee

The pump, once a source of great pleasure for Americans, has of late begun dispensing something else entirely

I’m in the most interminable waiting room filled with 200 dying boomers and one of them has not stopped talking in the most annoying croaking monotone voice for 20 mins. just one unbroken stream of consciousness mumble

Because they are imaginary things from a children's storybook

Mild forces Sure could drag me away

This fit

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" "Chat, we were based, and chopped"

In these trying times it's important to remember I am in no way responsible for any of the bad stuff