fuck me did you know you have a little ghoulie in there. fuck that's frightening. he's having a munch. at least somebody is enjoying the food

we finally reached the end of this calendar event i accidentally made 12 years ago

imagine agreeing to be a guest of Donald Trump at the state of the union in February 2026 lmao

“i’m still punk” i whisper to myself as i turn down the music in my car so i can see better

The source is lost to time, but this is one of the funniest photos ever taken

Georgia was skating to MORTAL KOMBAT at the Olympics exhibition gala

AI couldn't make this

Pretty amazing that comms person at FBI called my @ms.now colleague @kendilanian-nbc.bsky.social a liar and demand a correction only for Kash to post a photo from the locker room

The IRS must give the President of the United States ten billion dollars, as the framers intended

Trump Suffers Setback Unrelated To Child Rape

I am really sick of president crimes. I’m really sick of the “100-0 impeachment vote for any other person” actions multiple times every day. I’m sick of seeing his revolting face everywhere. When is it time for It

🗓️📌

It's a good thing I live in one of those states where, due to various pro-slavery provisions in the Constitution, I'll never have to vote for this guy under any circumstances

Air to Ground Message: HELLO MOTHERSHIP. THIS IS STARSHIP 1722 INBOUND, FROM NEPTUNE. YOUR HOA FEES ARE OVERDUE. PLEASE MAIL TO SPACE COMMANDER Area: Jacksonville, FL, USA Type: Airbus A321 A: #afaa5fe37c2 F: #fe78de29b77 #acars #vdlm2

wake up homie, new culture war just dropped

It’s real

Happy birthday to one of my favourite haters, Charles Darwin

If there's one think the Trump administration loves it's endangering you, personally, every time you fly in a regular airplane

Can't wait

RFK Jr. needs five portions of sload soap to help with his research. Here are 500 drakes. You can keep what is left after you purchase the sload soap.

To have one ICE employee arrested in in a Bloomington, MN underage sex trafficking sting may be regarded as a misfortune; to have two looks like carelessness.

Rep. Delia Ramirez to DHS officials: "I have as much respect for you as I do for the last white men who put on masks to terrorize communities of color. I have no respect for the inheritors of the Klanhood and the slave patrol. Those activities were criminal and so are yours."

I find the lyrics of the Puerto Rican recording artist “Bad Bunny” to be disturbing and I will be opening a congressional inquiry on the matter.

Me and the first person who makes eye contact with me after it happens

I'm hearing from my sources that despite his handler's best efforts, the President has accidentally heard a sentence spoken aloud in Spanish, and has died. He is survived by his stupid children and demon wife. The carpet is being described as a "total loss"

This would be a pretty funny time for it to happen. They'd have to pause the game to announce it while struggling to remain somber

Donald Trump is like the Blade of pedophiles. He walks among them, he shares their strengths and cravings but none of their weaknesses, and sometimes he kills them. And he doesn’t pay his taxes.

I'm sorry the guy changing the rules on the fly is named what

From @acyn.bsky.social (posted on X) "Reporter: Do any of you have a favorite animal? Child: My favorite one is a gold snake that can move. It has gold eyes, and it has a super-duper tail… Reporter: Mr. Mamdani, the second question for you. Mamdani: Yes. It’s also the golden snake."

the Spectator accidentally recycled a subhed from a previous day’s article about Tehran

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There's a free opened bag of barley flour available on Nextdoor right now if anyone wants it

[upbeat zohran voice] I'm here at the Palace of Justice in Nuremberg, Germany, where 80 years ago some important progressive work started [smash cut] but hasn't ended. So here's what we're doing:

Just learned that Punxsutawney Phil is canonically immortal due to his use of an "Elixir of Life," and is attended to by an "Inner Circle" made of up 15 members who refer to themselves as "Faithful Followers" www.groundhog.org/about/

Aw, baby's first "I just wanted to feel important and line my pockets a little bit but the unexplored crevasse of my character flaws has pulled me into the primordial soup of evil beneath society"?

lol he really did shit himself

this is who runs this account

the badgers fuckin found out about religion, call the cops. no not the regular cops

Personally I think violating the constitution is wrong but I can appreciate that the most openly corrupt administration in US history has a different view