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If anyone's worried about their pets after Rapture I can guarantee I won't be ascending to heaven and will take care of them for £5,000 in cash. DM me for my associates details. Collection can be arranged.

@fplgeneral.bsky.social delete me from the no Salah no Haarland league. I've gone for Haarland this week and he's saved me. I have no shame #FPL

Shame on Downing Street for going along with this. So much for being committed to a free press

When we invented cricket around 911 CE, about 400 years before the English, we had unruly matches that sadly ended in several brawls & murders. The Icelandic Sagas documented the lot. Since we introduced our Code of Conduct in 2020, the number of deaths in play has dropped a lot.

Despite the overwhelming evidence of Trump's criminality, his fascist policies, his support of Israel's genocide, his links with sex trafficking and his views that domestic violence isn't a crime, what were the standout looks of the state visit, BBC News?

Mandelson Crisis Starmer Acts! The new Private Eye is out now.

Started cooking classes.

The outstanding reviews for @gruffrhys.bsky.social ’s sublime new album “Dim Probs” are coming in quick and fast! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ A huge thank you to everyone who has bought a copy of the album so far. 🧡 “Dim Probs” is out now on CD, cassette, vinyl and digital streaming platforms ➡️ gruff.lnk.to/DimProbs

A brilliant find. Found whilst pulling down my dining room ceiling. Don't worry I will be reporting it to Portable Antiquities Scheme.

This government could have taken on the super-rich to tackle inequality. They chose to fan the flames of racism and embolden the far-right instead. Our country needs a change in direction, now. It’s time for a real alternative that redistributes wealth, ownership and power.

Anyone attending #MESO2025 in Ferrara next week and doesn't have an excursion ticket, please get in touch and I'll arrange for you to use mine. Students preferred! 🏺

Gone for Isak this week as all the content creators said they weren't so any points he scores will actually count. If he plays...

I know it's been a long time since the last game week but we all agreed to triple up on West Ham assets. Didn't we? #FPL

Nuno gave hope and the whiff of success to Nottingham Forest and no true fan wants that. What they crave is finishing 17th whilst having a 'bloody good bloke' in charge and that's exactly what Ange will deliver. Best of luck to them. Great club management.

Just happy to live in a world where this exists.

😹🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿😹🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿😹🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿😹🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿😹🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Man who casts no shadow …. ? Didn’t meet Trump did he?

Statement from the co-chairs of PaM: Due to the current developments at the annual meeting, we, as the representatives of the Palaeolithic and Mesolithic community, want to underline that we support the democratic right to protest and speak freely,...continued...

Dear colleagues, some concerning news has been circulating this week in relation to the 2025 @archaeologyeaa.bsky.social Annual Meeting (Belgrade Virtual). We, the IAI Board, believe it is important to acknowledge & share this info. Please see the full statement, with links, here: buff.ly/8YG0WmV

These photo's claim to be Trump leaving the Whitehouse to play golf taken at the same time. The first is from Newsweek, the second from Getty. Different photographers obviously. But also different clothing...

I repeat, for the rest of time the scum can never bleat on that they are martyrs for some traditional footballing way of life. You buy your titles, just like every other team does. Leicester City are the only team in the PL era to have ever won the competition organically.

Our main goal is to achieve world domination of cricket by the year 2082. We can confirm that following our 2025 season, in which we beat Lithuania, Latvia, and Ukraine, we remain on track, even perhaps a year or two ahead of schedule.

Must immediately triple up on West Ham #FPL

Bloody Colin. He wouldn't last three minutes in the ring with my mate Steve Bould.

Build council homes and control private rents. That is how we would fix the housing crisis. Join us at yourparty.uk.

👀

I’ve been enjoying browsing and yes, was thinking about this jdandkateindustries.com/products/sto... which I’m sure @urbanprehistorian.bsky.social would love to add to his list of #StonehengeAnything. But also tempted by some of the others, this may be 2025 Christmas present time…

I eagerly await the riots outside seminaries, and a statement from Robert Jenrick about the threat to our women. www-bbc-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.bbc....

A retired headteacher was arrested for carrying an Eye joke at a march in July. To hear more about Mr Farley’s arrest and release, tune in to the Summer Free Speech Special episode of Page 94, the Private Eye magazine podcast.

If I'd not listened to content creators I would have had at least 1m points by now. I must re-read this post this time next year* to remind myself that I'm better than they are. * I won't and will follow the herd blindly as usual. #FPL

If your team picks up 5+ yellow cards in the first week do you get some defcon points? Asking for a friend. #FPL

Gvardiol injured! My set and forget Man City asset gone. Is Ait-Noiri a 90 min man? #FPL

I maybe being a bit thick... I can't put my team id into @livefpl.net I click the button and it takes me to another screen with a button to start an auto pick team, no option to put in team id. I've tried mobile and desktop but no dice. Any ideas? #FPL

"Since the laptop ran out of charge, I don't know which #fpl players to choose," said George glumly. "Toss it," said Dick, "it's evidence." "And we all got so wasted we forgot my name is Anne, not Jane," said Anne, not Jane. "Plus, Julian just stares into space, saying Anderson or Andersen."

Last bullet point on here for your information. www.gov.uk/government/n...

Jesus. The government are prioritising data centres over humans in who should use water.

LOL

A good start from Leicester. A bit shaky to begin with but a win's a win. #LCFC

If a big six is hit at our Hamranesvöllur ground, there is inevitably a long search for the ball in the moss covered lava field. Generally, the bowler is required to lead the search, as it was their fault.

I hate to give Niggle Fartarse credit for anything, but really credit where it is due, his role in supporting Brexit and then Trump have been pivotal in utterly destroying, overseas markets for small British businesses, and the businesses themselves! We wouldn't have done it without him!

Hats off to the dog director, Jack who has kept things running smoothly.

Coming to the end of a month of digging. Three sites and two new Mesolithic flint scatters found and the occasional upper palaeolithic find in the periglacial scrunch.

Some days you dig a big hole to look at the geology and realise you've accidentally put your test pit in a big old ditch. Still found some buried soils and buried peat with the auger. Happy but broken.

Sure, it was definitely due to one guy chanting something for a few seconds on an iPlayer live stream that was then pulled and not due to, I don't know, massive media hysteria about it or maybe, just maybe the massive ongoing genocide and murdering of people trying to find food.

Nigel Farage says you can't walk through the West End or any parts of the country at night dressed as Nigel Farage without people shouting abuse at you.

Looking forward to starting with Maddison this season but it sounds like he's had a nasty injury today. Fingers crossed for him it's not as bad as it seems. #FPL

how many times can #fpl ask me to sign in 🫩