"Oh yeah? You like baseball? What if I make you smoke *an entire pack* of baseball?"

OMG PLEASE BIG DUMPS

OMG WHY

Bazardo Dingler is a name you can set your watch to

GOD NO FUCK

GOD PLEASE DUMP ON ME

When do they go to the penalty shootout

OH MY GOD, I WANNA GO TO BED

I’m emotionally invested in a game that I shouldn’t and it’s causing me to be irrationally upset

Fuck you @boydbiceps.bsky.social. I’m tired, tell your bitch ass team to hurry the fuck up

FILTH

Woof, I wish the torture of being a Mariners fan was me right now

JOE BUCK: Welcome to the top of the 47th [Sun rises] [Sun keeps getting bigger] BUCK: yes [World engulfed by flames] BUCK: oh god yes

Oof, congrats to all those who posted the passed ball stat pic earlier

Can you think of a single movie in which there is a video from the government denouncing its political opponents playing on a loop in public spaces in which that government was the good guy?

Xi Jinping unveils sinister "tangping plot" to lie down completely still as Trump destroys the US for him

This shits getting dismissed today, I’m guessing

Cam Skattebo is gonna have the biggest fuckin deli sandwich named after him soon. Folks ordering "the Skattebo" and getting 8 different meats and mustard on rye.

5th season-opening shutout in #mnwild history and tied for most lopsided season-opening win in franchise history. Gustavsson 27 saves, 12th shutout; Hartman 2 goals, 10 of 14 in circle; Boldy 1+2; Rossi 1+1; Kaprizov 3 assists; Eriksson Ek PPG Home opener Saturday vs. CBJ

Just putting up evidence on the ‘gram

“I’ll declare war on you if you don’t give me the peace prize” is an incredible bit

Losing in the charts, courts, and public opinion is like the bizarro Triple Crown

LOL WILD

lol my stream dies and the wild score 2 goals in that time.

Calling it now, Jaxson Dart will be the foil to Drake Maye’s Patriots in a future super bowl

Dolly Parton Shares Video Confirming Sister A Shit-Stirring Bitch https://theonion.com/dolly-parton-shares-video-confirming-sister-a-shit-stirring-bitch/

This is terrifying! ICE breaks into this woman’s car in the pick-up line at West Loop Elementary school in Chicago and detains her before she can pick her kids up from school. (They were eventually let go after showing their documents) This is Trump’s America.

“Circumsized?” is the new “Vaxxed?”

Yall keep saying the moon is huge tonight but I can still squish it between my fingers. Liars

Incredible. Jack Posobiec references the earliest version of antifa -- the anti-fascists in the Weimar Republic who were opposed to the Nazi Party -- as the bad guys.

Obsessed with how this is just a Caliber of sports dude

Even then, it was just the Applebee’s of Mexican food and we’ve run out of ideas so the nostalgia train rolls on. It will lose steam and be out of business within 5 years

lol air traffic controllers should start leaving en masse if they ain’t going to get paid

Body shaming used against people whose ideology is to supress and remove the rights of people based on immutable characteristics is always acceptable. Signed, 5’7” dude

Damn dude, you gained .8% of Ukraines total landmass in 10 months, congrats!

Soon you won’t be able to rage meta post if Trump and his cronies get their way

he’s moving like your cursor when you’re trying to use a computer mouse on a glass table

the entire restaurant kitchen is on fire and he’s in there going shit shit hang on i got it and the food comes to the window perfect

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHMYGOD Trevor Lawrence is something else

BRING IT BACK

Dickhead In Sanchez Jersey Turns Out To Be Mark Sanchez

Holy shit, NWS finally rated a tornado EF5 for the first time in 12 years. All it took was a loaded freight train being thrown 300 yards lol.

Ooh, please put me on the “A.I. racists” blocklist.

forum wars took over the government. the 10,000-page thread spilled out into the streets. people are getting their doors blown open and hogtied so that nerds can win an online argument. they tanked the dollar and fucked the economy permanently to own you