"We have literally been talking about this for decades," says Carl, proudly. "That's why some many people have come down to be a part of it. Some of my friends were glad it happened today, so they could quit hearing about it!"

Hemingway was once bet that he couldn’t write the world’s happiest short story in just 5 words. He replied,

"When Musk & Hegseth argue that a racially diverse nation is inherently weak, they're not returning us to some long-established American tradition from which we've recently strayed. They are, instead, parroting the exact same propaganda that Nazi Germany promoted against America during WW II."

Doing just fine

the rollout of the mRNA vaccines was one of the greatest public health triumphs in history and the end result has been the all-around triumph of the antivax movement and I will never get over it

this is why you should *never* hit someone with an rpg. it’s dangerous, it’s shitty, and it’s wrong

the Spectator accidentally recycled a subhed from a previous day’s article about Tehran

Minimizing the window where I read about how our world is a joke and we're at the mercy of megalomaniacal evil perverts. Logging on to the work zoom. "Heyyyy I'm good! How are you?"

I encourage you to consider that the @cato.org is right about this

James Harden in Cleveland Ohio

The last time he started talking like this, his allies minimized the risks and we ended up with January 6. This time we must take him literally and seriously. These comments are a five-alarm fire for democracy. In a functioning republic, he would be impeached and removed from office today.

dudes rock

❤️

This ain't Yemen, Free Don Lemon.

Looking at the mug shots Bondi posted of folks who allegedly impeded ICE officers... I'm reminded me of some of the iconic 1960s images of 'criminals' from counter sitins and freedom rides

(sting voice) every broth you make

Of the biggest scandals in US history just this week, I think I’d rank them: 1) Federal paramilitaries invade US city based on racist lies, murder US citizens 2) Slush fund for the president from stolen foreign resources held in Qatar 3) Whatever FBI and DNI are doing re: 2020 election in Georgia

An entire community of thousands, here legally, having been demonized with deranged lies about eating pets, is about to be arbitrarily DECLARED illegal so they can be forcibly ethnically cleansed. I don’t want to hear one more fucking word about comparisons to Nazi Germany being overwrought.

lander should run against schumer. i'm serious. schumer has to invent imaginary friends and lander is out there making friends and doing retail politics like a boss.

The reason Anne Frank's story has resonated with so many people over so many years is not because circumstances have to be exactly the same as her's for anyone to care, but because anything remotely like it is wrong, and societies moving in that direction should oppose it well before they get there.

lmao, everyone in the building trying to balance not ruining the moment of silence with the desire to be the first to yell “Fuck Ice!”

So all these dorks who freaked out about government overreach during COVID are just fine with ICE now huh

no matter how hard Greg Bovino tries to exude rugged masculinity he always comes off like Don Knotts in a Portlandia sketch

conservatives: remote learning is the worst thing that ever happened also conservatives: we will invade an american city and send armed goons to its campuses to the point that they are forced to reinstitute remote learning

White supremacy explains many apparent contradictions. Conservative calls for free speech were always about freedom to use slurs without sanction. Calls for small government were always about denying Black folks rights and state protections. This is conservatives achieving their goals.

This afternoon, retired Army general Stanley McChrystal spoke at the retirement ceremony hosted by HRC for six trans service members who were forced out under Trump’s ban. “I shouldn’t have to be thanked for being here. First off, we shouldn’t be here. This shouldn’t be happening.” Full remarks:

all in the last 3 minutes

Fact-Checking The Trump Administration On Venezuela https://theonion.com/fact-checking-the-trump-administration-on-venezuela/

remains striking the extent to which trump quite loudly does not see himself as president of the united states and more as a clan leader for his supporters

Great day to have functioning eyes and a working brain

The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

I don't care if she didn't follow directions; I don't care if she was disrespectful; I don't care if she was noncompliant; I don't care if she spit in his face, called him ugly, and smacked his mom - "immediate execution by the state" was not warranted; jfc, this isn't complicated.

losing my mind at the "she should have followed directions" people really? really? you're cool with "if you don't follow directions, they get to kill you"? that seems like a good state of affairs to you? that seems like how law enforcement ought to work: instant obeisance or death?

The reactions to the footage in Minnesota seem neatly split between two camps: whether you are able to watch and process a video of a tragedy and accept it as such or whether you’re a fan of murder.

I say this in all earnestness. The print edition of The Onion? That’s consistently the best thing I spend my money on every month.

I've watched thousands of videos from the Jan. 6 riot as part of NPR's reporting and archive project on that day. Here are some of the lesser known videos that have really stuck with me. 🧵

sliding my third wish back to the genie to tip him like it's a craps table

Smith: I think who should be accountable for this is Donald Trump. These records exist because, in the case of the senators, Donald Trump directed his co-conspirators to call these people to further delay the proceedings. He chose to do that.

Classic holiday news dump of testimony that makes it clear Trump is a criminal traitor

College football discourse over the next 9 months

The Red Closet Diaries I don't care where Benny puts his Johnson, whose ass Matt Schlapps, who's in Nick's sexual Fuentesies, or if Tucker wants to tuck 'er into Carl's son. But great (Tim) Scott! I just want a Graham of honesty from MAGA men when it comes to sexual politics. by Maureen Dowd

I have a lot of respect for the Knives Out movies just as an exercise in people making solid B+ level entertainment where everyone seems to be enjoying the experience without it needing it to win Oscar’s or make 3 billion dollars. It’s like going to a good steakhouse.

The American officer corps not reconciling with how a guy like Flynn could reach the highest levels of American military intelligence is part of the reason we’re in this mess

Not to be controversial but I think we should use tools and resources to make people's lives less miserable instead of more

None of this is “good faith political debate,” and it’s not a coincidence that all these outlets are suddenly interested in the same “discussion” at the same time. Treating women’s humanity like a thought exercise makes it that much easier to legislate away

us education system will try to make you think its important to know the name of all 3 of christopher columbus boats, and maybe the titanic. those are the only boats you're allowed to know

Blows my mind it hasn't even been a full year of congestion pricing in NYC yet. Years of cranks whining about it and then you just DO IT and everything is instantly better and everyone gets used to it and moves on. We should do good things more often! PS - T-minus 12 days to Streets Mayor Mamdani!