Campaigning to be the democratic socialist mayor of Margaritaville

I know where I belong

Just fyi giving me attention has 17g of protein

I’ve always preferred rof,l

When I want people to do things I always call them fat first

I'll die a thousand deaths on the hill that we should have never lost the cultural shame involved in "selling out"

As an aside, I was taken aback by your affront

Can we talk about Long Tylenol yet?

Ruin a book with a car: Are You There God? It’s Me, Mazda

Fleetwood Mac is a band made up of British and American musicians, yet the one named Lindsay Buckingham is not British.

trying to quit being a people-pleaser bc some people don't like it

Your kitchen garbage only has two states of being: empty w no bag & so full it can’t close properly

a toilet that poops back

Rudy Giuliani happened to be in the middle of one of his favorite pastimes - RESPECTING WOMEN - when he suddenly broke every single bone in his body. Please do not call and ask any questions because his business partner is taking care of him ❤️

The line for cheese is called the queueso

kate bush running past sisyphus

What happens if enough people adamantly insist Trump is dead

TUNA MOTHERFUCKIN SALAD

basic human rights are not something u put up to debate like some influencer game show shit

So glad we domesticated bananas

It looks like three people leaving Bolton’s house with FBI swag

Has anyone read Ralph Bascombe #17, Part B?

Zen stock trader: I don’t care if the Dow is up or down. As long as it just is

I’ll show you mine, if you show me mine

Marcus Aurelius? Let’s go by something a little cooler

ARE YOU NOT INFOTAINED?

Literal if horrifying: scary movie

We are on the same page because we’re co-authors.

Now I am become dearth, destroyer of abundance

If eating ice cream in the bathtub isn’t a superpower then why am I wearing a cape

As promised, in light of the WaPo report of Everglades camp detainees being swarmed by mosquitoes in the shower and unable to sleep at night due to being bitten, I want to briefly address concentration camp history and mosquitoes. I won't be comprehensive but will give a few examples. [1/17]

Not typing out the question mark to a question is low key toxic is it not

My heart just got pulled over

There’s a Banana Republic in my resume

The “boys” are back in town to view the Epstein Files

If we don’t run this now, sir, CatShit69 will

Happy Birthday Tia!

I knew we were cooked as a society when everyone just sorta decided they were sick of dealing with Covid and everyone just decided to pretend like it wasn't a thing anymore.

It’s not a MYoboros

This makes me horney

I know what type of computer Adele has

This is our demise. If this passes, we fund our own demise. We should be in the streets over this.

He’s in a committee and can’t be trusted week to week

President Trump should not have crapped his pants. I hope it works

printing out pornhub videos in case of apocalypse

Is there any reporting on what this is ultimately about?

Since it says Analysis it can’t be Propaganda

Israel and the United States are out of control. This, like so much that preceded it, is indefensible.

Is this yellow journalism?