Monday

"If you don't want it, I know a guy in America who'll take it."

we’re going to win it all and no one’s going to enjoy a single minute of it

Darren England loves Coldplay.

Seven points clear in the league 1 goal up in a semi final. Top of the champions league Through to the next round of the FA Cup. Chill TF out.

If we don't get a goal soon I think Chelsea will win this game.

That was as blatant a handball as Henry's against Ireland.

😂

Havertz on for Jesus please.

Dressed like he had Sports Direct vouchers for Christmas and with his silly little disc beard.

Will be sold to Strasbourg for £120m.

Guehi is a top talent, and so is Semenyo. They’ve really gone for it; because the wages and fees on those deals, particularly Guehi, are going to be astronomical. Not having that Guardiola isn’t a cheque book merchant though, he’s inherited quality and spent huge amounts everywhere.

At last. A proper headline.

State of Robbie Jenrick. He's only been on their team 5 minutes...

Robert Jenrick sniffs clean knickers in Marks and Spencer.

genuinely if you’re still using twitter at this point there’s something wrong with you

The biggest reason that Kai Havertz had to leave Chelsea is that he's not an intensely dislikeable person. He didn't fit the club culture at all.

15-ish years ago, some guys at Oxford came up with a philosophy that allows billionaires to do whatever the hell they want and call it altruism. And unsurprisingly it's proven incredibly popular in Silicon Valley www.currentaffairs.org/news/2023/05...

That cunt could just do something good for humanity with all that wealth. Spaceships... Big spaceships! Fuck off.

Lovely stuff 😂 www.thepoke.com/2026/01/13/t...

Bit pointless being 6ft 15 if you can't fucking jump.

Newcastle strikers been told to shoot as a last resort?

Hilarious

Thankfully I hate both sides so happy either way.

Wissa is a poor striker.

FUCK KEIR STARMER

Dion Dublin's missus, wedding night

in yet another world first we will be integrating a child pornography website into our military. wow. impressive

I hope they've let Martinelli watch it in Belmarsh.

Not the performance that the Conor Bradley memorial match deserves.

Jeffrey blocked out two hours a week in his calendar to stop being an abuser, blackmailer and political fixer to hang out with me, Peter Mandelson, an innocent man. We would just chat about Bronski Beat.

This is your chance to have a day off from the stress of the title race and just enjoy the win. Take a leaf out of Martinelli’s book, he’s in court next week and he’s enjoyed himself today.

I'm just really glad that Ferguson is still around to see this.

Nice end of the week for Martinelli after killing a man on Thursday evening.

Me at the final of Pop Idol.

😂

*posting on twitter* oh ho, I’ve made a wry observation. Better make sure a bunch of pedophiles see it

If I take antibiotics to clear up my chronic knob rot, the knob rot wins - so I'm watching my cock turn green

C’est une ClayStation

Makes me laugh when Spurs are wank and someone always says "They're really missing Maddison" like he isn't absolutely fucking shit.

Divs still going on about Martinelli I see. Don't be so fucking wet. Imagine if he'd actually done something bad. 🙄

David Bowie died ten years ago today so here is a photo of him in Japan looking cool as the current Berlin winter.

LOL... 🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

CONOR BRADLEY COULD'VE DIED!

Has Martinelli been released on bail yet?

A woodland near me... 👀