Don't ever want Tudor to leave Spurs.

Another barmy European night in Istanbul.

Arsenal at home to Port Vale and City away to Liverpool or Chelsea will properly wind people up. 🤞🏻

Whew boy, “Iran planted the frozen bodies of dead children in the school and then blew it up themselves” is a fucking HELLL of a take

Happy international women's day to all the women who aren't total pricks.

Honestly fair fucks to Vittorio Angelone for calling out Penny Mordaunt on Last Leg

That isn't a red card. Pathetic re-reffing of the game.

Linked in Liam's performative antics on the sideline are great. Could have his own show.

Funny how League One Mansfield will come away from a one goal loss with a hell of a lot more credit than Premier League Brighton

Easy. Next.

Reed getting a yellow for his 7th bookable offence.

The Mansfield owners wife's nose cost more than the Mansfield starting line up. Wake the fuck up, Arsenal.

That's on Mosquera. WTF was he doing?

Chamakh > Jesus

Just like Pontius Pilate, I'd like to see Jesus removed.

Matterface gone limp.

Shove that up your coal chutes!

‘I’ve just come all over the commentary box. Well, it is the magic of the cup’

Genuinely embarrassed for the ref. Obviously left his cards in the changing room.

Just before he wowed the Sea of Galilee crowd.

Matterface may have just ejaculated. He's a proper piece.

🎶 "Two year eleven's, you'll never sing that." 🎶

“Dear Diary, Super excited to say that I’ll be serving my Clacton constituents today by flying to Mar-a-Lago to meet Donald Trump and to undermine the UK government. God I love being a patriot!”

These are the 4 things AI can do well: •Clean up your email inbox (badly) •Give my shittiest neighbor (Alan) something to talk about at a party •Tell a 12 yr old to kill himself •Incinerate a school at 10:16 AM on a Tuesday You can see why we need to base our economy around it

This has absolutely sent me!!!! 💉💉🤣🤣😭😭

god i really hope america and israel don't start ww3 before arsenal win the league and spurs get relegated at the same time

Spurs fans need to stop worrying about relegation. I'd say they have enough quality to come straight back up.

Paul Gascoigne has turned up with chicken, 4 cans of lager and a fishing rod.

I hope he took well over 90 seconds to get from his chair to the stage

Just watching highlights from last night. Why didn't Haaland get a penalty for kneeing Sels in the face?

Important to lead with the headline that Arsenal are the ‘villains of the title race’ and would be ‘unpopular champions’ as they go up against the team charged with 115+ counts of cheating to gain an unfair competitive advantage over the other premier league teams.

In German, 'Fabian' means 'baby' and 'Hürzeler' loosely translates as 'to cry or whine". 🤔

Ladies and gentlemen, we got him.

Oddly mixed feelings after that. We won the game, and advanced in the title race ... but we didn't do it in a way that pleased Fabian Hürzeler. I keep asking myself if it was worth it.

They killed 180 children and their teachers in a double-tap strike on a school. The girls were 7 to 12 years old.

That's a cracking evening of Barclays.

Why are they all like this? Absolutely pathetic.

Feels very personal Hurzeler's issue with Arsenal. Embarrassed for him. And his family.

self-care reminder: breathe

How is Villa's title challenge going by the way?

After so many years of playing well and losing, I can definitely say that playing like ass and winning is much funnier, if nothing else