Newborn Loses Faith In Humanity After Record 6 Days https://theonion.com/newborn-loses-faith-in-humanity-after-record-6-days-1819573929/

Gary Neville has a button mushroom.

"He wasn't even real. They want you to believe he wasn't made of balloons and paper but the illuminati created him with Bill Gates' software and powered him with vaccines. This is where they went wrong as the 5G in the vaccine caused a malfunction."

🎶You'll never sing that!🎶 (Shot creating action though 😂)

If Cucurella’s nickname isn’t Cunt Jesus I’ll be very disappointed

😂

Dropped

Hearing Arsenal criticised for having good squad depth as "players won't be happy" after being criticised last season for not having good squad depth. They love to hate us.

please, think about the damage you might cause before sending an invoice

Sign and share pls ❤️

The main story on BBC 6 Music News this morning is that a ‘boat carrying migrants is on its way to France’ Delivered in the same upbeat tone as England winning the women’s Euros. The migration ‘debate’ in this country is unmoored from reality, and the media-political complex is feeding it

Trump Spends Entire U.K. Trip Trying To Figure Out Where He Knows Prince Andrew From

Silly Jimmy Kimmel. He should have just called for all homeless people to be killed and he’d still have a job.

Needed it to be fucking officially classified, eh?! Spineless fucking coward. Like the rest in power. They all disgust me.

Come on you lot, Anneka is in the helicopter waiting for the next clue.

One of my favourite Robert Redford stories is from when he was showering with Gary Neville in the Man Utd changing rooms and Gary had his back to him...

I'm not particularly patriotic but sometimes you just have to admit that no other country can put on such a magnificent show of pomp, circumstance and pageantry to flatter and placate a putative dictator, convicted felon,racist,sexual predator and friend of Epstein like Great Britain can #GSTK

Arteta kicking himself thinking he could've got another year out of Partey before he absolutely would have to get rid.

Watch out guys. AI is going to take over the world... 🙃

Calling peoples' employers in a rage because their tributes to Robert Redford weren't horny enough

Missed a call by seconds. Immediately phoned back. No answer. Just chucked your phone in the lake there did you? You living off the grid then? Heard you're a wild man of the forests now. Good for you. Good for you you piece of shit.

Lower your flags for Robert Redford, you fascist cunts

The UN has confirmed what we already knew: Israel is committing genocide against Palestinians. Only last week our government were denying this reality and continue to sell arms to Netanyahu's genocidal regime. They must wake up and act now to end the genocide.

Off course Simon Jordan is spouting misinformation about Charlie Kirk's killer's "left-wing ideologies" on @talksport.com Ignore the facts for your paymasters. #talkSHITE

Not sure the real @tomrobinson.com would be happy being included in that list.

Some of these are great. 😂

posting this Classic over here in honor of the big man himself. adios bitch

“No pulse.”

Nothing says "I'm protectin' are girls" like a can of Stella in one hand and yer cock in the other!

What would Orwell think about a huge face on a gigantic screen telling a crowd of people they should wage war on foreigners and dissidents? No way of knowing, I guess.

Grok is being sent to the reeducation camp

Banking on the fact that none of their supporters can read more than a few words.

RFK Jr. Warns Mistress That Condoms Cause Autism

Imagine travelling all the way down to London to piss on the streets and shout at the police to only get home on a Sunday and then a Muslim scores a 90th winner against your club.

EVERYBODY HAS FREE SPEECH! THERE WILL ALWAYS BE CONSEQUENCES FOR WHAT YOU SAY THOUGH. ALWAYS. WHY ARE PEOPLE SO FUCKING THICK?!

Raya's go go gadget finger tips!

He should fly one of his shitty rockets to the sun.

Fuck Elon Musk.

I mean, call me a Loony Lefty if you want, but it *is* starting to look a bit weird arresting disabled pensioners protesting peacefully one day and telling coked up bellends attacking you to “calm down” another day the same month. Obviously, just my opinion. I might have got it wrong.

This is fucking mental!

Chelsea handing out long contracts for more random S American teenagers I see

Anyone ever had MPFL surgery? Having mine done in a couple of weeks and wondered what recovery time is like?

Live your life in such a way that when you die, people aren’t able to cite thousands of comments you’ve made advocating the deaths of others.

I hear Starmer's pushing for Paul Gadd to replace Mandelson...