ODYSSEUS, BRISTLING WITH RAGE: thou dare attempt to pork my wife? while i’m on my big trip?

Really wish I had eaten something today

I wish I was fucking dead. Nothing but needless delays all goddamn day.

I swear to God, if this fucking airport doesn’t find a gate for us *immediately*! I cannot miss my fucking train because Delta has been shitting the bed all day.

I did not expect to be Come From Away’ed today. So far I do not find it has made me heart-warmingly aware of our shared humanity.

I will give this to France, this is the most le tired I have ever seen them

I applaud the French player’s work life balance. If they make you come in on a weekend you half-ass it, that’s right

As this journey stretches into hour 9, with no end in sight, I find myself regretting not eating something at Airport #1.

Pete Hegseth: "We need our warriors to embrace the Spartan mindset" U.S. Military: *suffers crushing defeat to the Persians*

Gonna continue to obsess over this mystery lump on my jaw while occasionally reminding myself that, probably,

ass out flower ate this is how i like pollinate

AI could never have created Jimothy.

Fuck off. If anything is "millennial", it's those cool transparent colors our iMacs, Gameboys, and Tamagotchis came in. No fucking millennial likes the house flipper grey. Call it a millennial paint job when I can see through the exterior of a car because it's Glacier Purple like my GBA.

wanting to date a high school girl, largely

i love jimothy

Guys I'm reporting on cyclospora, the lettuce diarrhea, for a story, and while Taco Bell lettuce does seem to be *a* source it is definitely not *the only* source so please keep washing and cooking your vegetables!

Fucccck they got him with the Gun That Makes You Italian

no more lumpy mumpy silhouettes in women's clothing. you sick fucks have had your fun the short curvy girlies have suffered enough. no more dresses where i put it on and immediately look ready to have sooooo much fun making potato prints with the other kindergarteners

I want NYers to know that some dude is putting up a statue of this man in the city on September 10 in Times Square, lol. nypost.com/2026/07/15/u...

Aaron Bagel

REMEMBER: ONLY MOO DENG IS WITHOUT SIN

THE LIBRARY GOT FREE AC TAKE YALL ASSES IN THERE!

World Cup cameramen scanning the crowd for crying English kids:

Monty Python and the Goalie Fail (I'm truly sorry for this)

OK see we're having fun again.

england and france in the third place match… we call that the 20th century

In the seventh month of the second year of the second term, the heat will become unbearable, the skies will turn red, and bowels will loosen across the land.

My favorite part of I Hate Bill Maher episodes is when the guest just starts ideating violence. Really makes me feel like I’m going through a transformative experience with them.

i cannot handle canadian wildfire smoke and the threat of diarrhea lettuce at the same time

Well there is definitely something flowing like never before in the United States right now but unfortunately it is not oil.

*Right click save

The people cry out for those cheese and peanut butter sandwich crackers to be sold at LaGuardia. (I am the people.)

Wrath

As an epidemiologist, I declare this to be an excellent substitute for fruits and vegetables during the cyclosporiasis epidemic.

(Except for Dan Conner, my favorite sitcom dad, who can do no wrong in my eyes, and if he has I simply do not regard)

apparently there's also an e. coli outbreak in frozen blueberries? www.cidrap.umn.edu/e-coli/cdc-c...

Having a weird day. It’s probably all the existential dread and also the fact that the right underside of my jaw is tender for some mysterious reason.

I encourage you to read the attached piece from the top, while trying to imagine what the author looks like. There is a photo at the end. You will not be disappointed.

Or you could say these neighborhoods are about to reclaim 50% of their sidewalks from steaming hot bags of garbage.

telemundo booth called beckham “spice boy” lmaooooooooo GIVE TELEMUNDO A NOBEL PRIZE FOR THEIR WORLD CUP COVERAGE

The winner of this match is gonna be Andorra.

I would like France & Spain both to advance, and England to go straight back to hell.

For a show that was, tbh, scattershot and mid, Castle Rock had an insanely stacked cast. Frances Conroy AND my queen Phyllis Somerville in S1E1!

At 1:20am, I finally finished doing laundry. Stupid sabotaging, damp ass fitted sheet.

I won an award at Sundance years ago and Sam Neill, whom I did not know, tweeted to me “we’re all so proud of you, sweetheart”. I can’t even express what that meant to me. That our most beloved national treasure, a man I worshipped, would take the time to write to me!

I think I have developed adult onset ‘tism, which is primarily expressed through my inability to not share all my new Erling Haaland facts

Even when my sister says she’ll do something, somehow I always end up having to do it. It’s bullshit how much of an eldest daughter I have to be despite being a middle child.