I confidently stride into the boardroom, and write “Medieval Times” on the whiteboard. Polite applause. I draw a line through the s so that it reads “Medieval Time$” The applause builds to a thunderous roar as the board members lift me onto their shoulders.

Virtual therapy is weird because my therapist once again paused to go to the bathroom. Girl, this is $200 a session, get your act together and piss beforehand.

Sigourney and Pedro’s edibles just hit #oscars

Experiencing all four seasons in 24 hours is tough

Practically feral right now because it’s Spring outside

As an East Coaster - this is 100% our attitude towards snow. It sucks, but we got it. Snippet from @nytimes.com

We like your vibe, do you like to party? The party: watching videos of huskies doing that scream/bark/howl thing they do.

We like your vibe, do you like the party? The Party: a slide show about our pug (RIP)

HOME STATE BEST STATE

Look, Gore Verbinski’s Good Luck, etc. movie is absolutely great, but I was so distracted by that burger at Norm’s.

Happy Valentine's Day from the whole Tokyo-3 Gang!

My husband after he said he’s not having another cookie.

jigsaw: YOU HAVE WASTED THE PRECIOUS GIFT OF LIFE. YOU NEVER LIVED UP TO ANYONES EXPECTATIONS. YOUR "NOVEL" IS TRASH. YOUR FACE IS PUFFY you: are you going somewhere with this jigsaw: NO. I THOUGHT GOING NOWHERE WOULD FEEL FAMILIAR TO YOU

RICKY FUCKING MARTIN

Did the edibles hit or are you just watching the opening ceremonies

I was just denied entry to the Dilley detention facility while my constituent, seven-year-old Diana, remains inside. What kind of sick, horrific conditions are children being forced to endure in there? I will be back tomorrow. Accountability can’t wait.

Feeling so smug right now that I never bothered to read any Noam Chomsky.

the guy who financed a propaganda film about the nazi first lady is killing a newspaper that writes unfavorably about her and her husband. this is how the club works.

Can’t spell “Bible” without BBL.

NEW: The @wired.com Security desk put together a comprehensive guide to filming ICE—with tips for reducing risk at the forefront. No paywall, but please consider subscribing to help find these kinds of resources. And stay safe out there. www.wired.com/story/how-to... www.wired.com/v2/offers/wi...

Getting to the last episode of #Wonderman and am not ready for how heartbreaking this is going to be.

"And those people will suffer the consequences: never paying for a drink for the rest of their lives."

The gaslighting and bullshit to say it isn’t true, are both depressing and infuriating. bsky.app/profile/heat...

the criticism is not widespread, it comes from a trump admin official, a museum controlled by the white house, and a trump donor's vanity anti-antisemitism organization

prepping in case the rumors about ICE converging on Philly next are true

SCOOP: Nursing home companies donated $4.8M to Trump's super PAC in Aug-Sept. Their executives landed a lunch in Aug. with Trump at his NoVa golf club where they asked him to revoke a rule to increase staffing to prevent patient neglect. His administration revoked the rule a few months later.

Pope Leo’s top U.S. ally — Cardinal Joseph Tobin — calls on Congress to defund ICE.

The Right constantly telling on themselves. Good people would see that and think “wow, they all got together and donated this to keep everyone safe and warm.” Narcissistic assholes look at it and think, “nobody would ever give something FOR FREE just because somebody else needed it! MUST BE FAKE!”

It’s classic Philly snow day chaos - Bartender just ran outside to grab a snowball and pelt a waiter with it.

ICE is now responsible for 66% of the homicides in Minneapolis this year.

Minnesota has cops. Arrest the murderers! Minnesota has prosecutors. Charge the murderers! Minnesota has courts. Try the murderers! Minnesota has prisons. Jail the murderers! You have power as governor. “Spoke with the White House” isn’t enough.

How To Spot An ICE Agent At A Gun Range

nine years old

(4) If you are arrested, you simply must do the following: - Identify yourself - Prove or attest to your citizenship - Invoke your 5th Amendment rights and demand your lawyer - Literally do not say a single thing besides the above. Do not talk shit, do not mouth off. There's time for that yet.

“everyone hates you, you fuckin American” idk what you’re talking about, I am a proud citizen of the greatest country in the world: PHILADELPHIA

Can somebody explain what this nightmare fuel is supposed to be on the Mercari site?

Erika after Usha announced her pregnancy

I spoke to a friend on the Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota board. They need financial donations to keep up with the heightened demand for their services: www.ilcm.org ILCM is a nonprofit that provides free immigration legal representation to low-income immigrants and refugees in MN & ND

the nail polish girlies are going absolutely feral and it’s so good

Sorry I failed dry January but the bar I’m at is blasting Dancing Queen.

This nice lady gave me her Peace Prize and I put it in the bathroom where I could see it every day and think of all my any accomplishments and also invade stuff.

Out of everything I have done in my life, hanging out in Williamsburg Brooklyn during it’s 2000’s heyday was truly in the top 1%

From last week's NO KINGS NO WARS NO ICE march.

turning off the lights in my bathroom and whispering 'Fetterman' three times in hopes that he'll appear and forget to vote to fund the government

Cordelia Cupp is my newest obsession. Smart woman Cool outfits Tinned fish #TheResidence is perfection.

Things millennials text their friends about:

stuff like this is one of the reasons why it’s incredibly important to constantly film everything ICE is doing while terrorizing communities bc it humiliates them

I can’t join ICE because I’ve got integrity, morals, and I’m not an incel who jerks off to anime.

I will NEVER forget how MAGA (most infamously Utah Senator Mike Lee) thought it was cute and appropriate to make terrible jokes at the expense of the Hortmans.