trad guys think they define true religion. they go "teacher, what must i do to inherit the kingdom of god? demonize trans people? persecute women as witches? bow before tyrants?" and when the pope comes back with "stop slaughtering human beings," the j.d. vances of the world dismiss it as normie.

Astros 2026 season looking like

"We didn't lose the Iran War! It was a tie!"

Next injury update

Millions of American voters wanted to be villains. They came to believe it’s the key to success, while goodness is weak, woke, loser stuff, done only to signal. Offered the option of unvarnished villainy, they enthusiastically took it. Seeing others suffer more made them feel big. And here we are.

When Jon said the phrase "10-cent beer night" I audibly gasped "OH FUCK"

The most sensual any one man has ever been youtu.be/xKaCxkf1Ccs?...

Willem Dafoe x Martin Scorsese's THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST (1988)

This is what being a White Sox fan does to you

A new challenger to the hardest baseball image of all time

Five cartoons to get to know me: Porco Rosso Spongebob Squarepants Bob's Burgers Scooby-Doo Where Are You? Fire and Ice

The Oakland A's rn #Astros

The windmill framed in the corner of the painting as if it were God is the most Flemish shit ever. Rutger Hauer should do the audio tour for every art museum. I wonder if @jesawyer.bsky.social has a "MILL AND THE CROSS MENTIONED" FaceApp meme in his camera roll

None of this would be happening if we’d elected Kony in 2012.

Immigration is good. Good for us, good for the immigrant. Allowing immigration is not a nice thing we do for immigrants. It is merely ceasing to do a bad thing to immigrants.

these days the real april fool is none other than donald trump

Literally

Golden retriever runs 15 feet after owner mimes throwing tennis ball

You can practically set your Monday morning alarm to Trump's "negotiations are going great!" market manipulation post.

HOMEPRUN

introducing a bill requiring all students to learn how to make the cool S

My gf's reaction to the Harry Potter reboot trailer: "That's disgusting, I'm disgusted" What's funny is she's not even talking about JK Rowling's involvement, but like just the general creative bankruptcy of the whole enterprise

If J.K. Rowling had fucked a kid or said the N-word, this wouldn't even be a discussion. So if you ever wonder why the trans community doesn't feel like anyone has their backs *gestures wildly at Bluesky today*

harry potter's the second one, right? never got around to reading it. i didn't even read harry pot

I never seen the Heyman tweet before holy shit

Flirting: Harassment:

They tried to cancel this woman over her Gaza comments and her merch is *still* prominently displayed in every grocery store. Unsinkable.

Dutch Atlanta Falcons twitter in 2023:

Kyle Schwarber bunting with a 1-2 count, 2 outs in the top of the eighth, and nobody on base:

college basketball is nonsense that must be done away with entirely. all these students should be busying themselves with schoolwork instead of wasting away the day with endless games of "hoops"

What level of cyberpunk dystopia is an ai-generated novel arguing against human reproduction?

Easy, Second Chance by Shinedown.

All of this is window dressing to justify panel 3. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/where-4 PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

Kash Patel in the U.S. locker room solemnly asking if anyone has seen Nancy Guthrie.

The Astros better get to the World Series because if they end up denying Altuve a chance to win it all for his country for nothing...

WBC has me spamming the repost button like

No more apropos guy to be the final out of a dying empire than a Roman.

Venezuela gets to kidnap our president now. It’s in the WBC charter

Bryce Harper disconsolately drinking a room-temp pint of raw milk in the clubhouse right now.

quick turnaround for team usa, tomorrow morning they head for the strait of hormuz, just gotta flush this one and move on, keep that mission mentality

You guys are laughing. Paul Skenes almost was in the Air Force, and you're laughing.

I recognize Venezuela, not the Dodgers, as the World Champions.

billionaire being interviewed: i havent listened to a single note of music in 27 years. think about it, music was basically invented, what, maybe 50 years ago? interviewer: this is really interesting

Find the insurance guy who denied Jose Altuve from playing for his country....we need to talk....

So the chances of someone on Team USA saying some dipshit remark referring to Trump kidnapping Maduro is 100%, right? #WorldBaseballClassic

The rest of the world to Trump:

So if he wins 5 more Oscars do we drop the B and just start calling him Michael Jordan?