School Dean: You paint those wounded soldiers so we can use them for teaching? Charles Bell: Sure did boss, real fuckin sexy just like you asked. School Dean: what

I don’t think they cancel the election - now that they have (some) voter data, they refuse to seat elected Ds from the states for which they have data by claiming the voters in the elected Ds districts were fake / fraudulent

got new prescription sunglasses today and had to politely explain to the optician why I did not want the wraparound Oakleys that she picked out for me

saw a car run a red light in front of a cop right after that same cop ran a red light

Bought something at CVS yesterday while unshaven. Got 5 coupons for razors on my receipt. 🤔

Department of Homeland Security is now the state sanctioned human trafficking and terrorism arm of the American white nationalist movement.

Got my shingles vaccine last week

Hmm I wonder if two or more of these are bots 🤔

that’s what Tim Horton looked like 👀

I have a Katy Perry song stuck in my head but don’t want to listen to it on a streaming service because every time you play a Katy Perry song she kills another nun

We used to call our son Monkey Boy when he was little. Took him to see Avatar 3 recently and couldn’t help but snicker every time they referred to Spider as Monkey Boy. His reaction:

Next thing you know they’re gonna go after Socrates’ friend Darryl

Packaging said this doesn’t expire for a month. Didn’t see the mold until taking it out of the microwave.

Sounds about right

Reminder: if you start watching Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves at 9:54:35 PM then when the clock strikes midnight you’ll hear them yell “Jarnathan!”

Took the kids to an arcade and one of them spent $30 playing the arcade version of a game we have at home (Luigi’s Mansion 3)

@jamestalarico.bsky.social sending me texts from James Carville is a sure fire way to turn me away

what happened here

TFW you’re filling your med box and drop a pill and it bounces and lands in the exact spot you were going to put it in

I had to make multiple attempts to finally convince a coworker to postpone a call for Monday morning by a week. And even then he waited until this weekend to do it after everyone rearranged holiday plans to accommodate the call.

me during the Andrew Ridgeley cameo in Last Christmas

I finally watched Last Christmas. It’s as good as everyone says and it was nice to see a manic pixie dream boy. 🙂

Yep, that’s his daughter

Tonight my adult kids taught their very adult grandparents how to play Mario Kart.

Me: I would like half a dozen biscuits and some honey Popeyes:

I guess Wordle doesn’t allow curse words

Nice

Me at 3 PM: I’ve got a break in meetings I’m going run some errands before my next meeting School zones: not so fast

One of the things I love about Pluribus is seeing the world through Carol’s eyes whether she makes good choices or not. This only works because of how well Rhea Seehorn can use her physicality and expressions to tell a story. Love this shot in particular where she conveys so much in context.

Disney told a father he couldn't have Spider-Man on his 4 yr old's gravestone, but they just signed a billion dollar deal with OpenAi the plagerism machine 🐁✨

go home Rudolph you’re drunk

Fun fact: this was the inspiration for 🎶It’s Raining Men🎶

Me when my kid eats all the middle Hawaiian rolls from the pack

I love #bose earbuds because they had that specially shaped silicon wing “StayHear” that helped keep the earbuds from falling out (a problem I have with AirPods and others). They no longer make them for the current models, but they still use them in the icon for fit! It’s like they’re taunting me!

LinkedIn:

John Cena to Carol:

Important meeting today so wearing a dress shirt and new wool quarter zip and…sweatpants Sometimes it’s nice to work from home.

a lotta y’all still don’t get it you can use multiple Santa juices on a single stocking so if you have 1 stocking and 3 Santa juices you can create 3 new stockings

🎶 you’ve been hit by, you’ve been struck by a

Mood:

Saw a Lucid at night and suddenly had the urge to listen to Motörhead

worst bidet ever

Switched to Tidal this year and mostly went old school

TIL Welcome to Derry is not a spinoff of Derry Girls

Went to see @rianjohnson.bsky.social ‘s Wake Up Dead Man yesterday and really enjoyed it! It was great seeing it in a communal setting and hearing a whole theatre laughing (and reacting to the few jump scares 🤣) The story and characters are engaging and it’s worth a rewatch!

@profanity.accountant how am I doing

What is that which gives me joy? Baseball.

next time I’m in Houston will need to go to the museum just to recreate the move from the :18 mark

Real words that Spelling Bee won’t take even though it built a whole puzzle around “pettifog”