Spare a thought for all the assholes who felt persecuted by Black History Month only to find themselves in Women’s History Month

HOW HAS THIS LADY NOT CRAWLED UNDER THE EARTH TO BE EATEN BY CICADAS YET

When you're KIA in Operation Epic Fury they deliver your family this flag folded up in a triangle

The main objectives were already completed: 1. Bomb something 2. Front-page headlines Everything else is just gravy

All weekend long I'd been told that our Friday night opponent's second goal was offside and shouldn't have counted. I just watched the film and it was, in fact, a good goal because our center back pimped her goal kick like she was 2001 Barry Bonds

Hey y’all I’m going on a book tour!* *I haven’t published a book I just want to go to different cities and talk about books

Oklahoma State

Begging anyone who refers to themselves as a journalist to gain just a smidge of object permanence.

Get her ass

Opta's Premier League Relegation Odds, 11:20am (Central) Wolves: 99.97% Burnley: 98.48% West Ham: 70.70% Forest: 23.53% Tottenham: 4.51% Leeds: 2.23% Palace: 0.46% Sunderland: 0.09% Newcastle: 0.02% theanalyst.com/competition/...

Actually it’s “Word’s To Your Mother”

Our country is revealing itself to be a cruel place and lots of us are on edge, but it’s important not to get mad at or be mean to one another over petty online things. Let’s focus our anger on Steve, my mom’s friend’s son who is apparently the perfect child. Fuck that guy.

"Y'all get back here to show Trump that we mean business when we roll over and wag our tails"

Blondie’s drummer puts in work on “Heart of Glass”

Dipshit hasn’t even seen New Jack City

More like Bitchardo Silva

Daniel Farke, arms raised to God asking why He has forsaken him...that's relatable

A proper kick to Bernardo Silva's ribs

GOP: well, damn, y’all got mad about us raping kids, now you’re going to get mad at us for killing them?

Oh please let Leicester get relegated to League One

Oh I’m definitely laughing at CBS

A government of the assholes, by the assholes, and for the assholes

Israel, immediately after vaporizing a bunch of little girls:

Well the team that mercy-ruled us last time was tied 0-0 at halftime and we lost 2-0. First goal knuckled like a Tim Wakefield pitch and the second goal was offside by about 3 yards.

It’s GAMEDAY, hoes, against the team that hasn’t lost a district game since 2019

Visit my coffee shop- Jimbo’s Jumbo Bean - featuring my all new MEAT-CHA, featuring matcha powder flavored with a hint of sausage and pepperoni

Room for so much piss

I just hope the person who tried all the neck massagers and recommends these three for CNN dot com keeps their job. Also congratulations to Jake Tapper, who no longer has to do the bare minimum to pretend.

I know that the last opinion anyone wants to hear is from a white middle-aged straight cis guy, but this Kansas thing is bullshit and the most important word in the phrase “trans people” is “people” and every decent human being needs to stand up and oppose this fascist ruling.

Continuing a trend to try and listen to new albums every week. 2026 releases I really enjoy: Mon Rovia - Bloodline Dead Dads Club - self titled Jay Buchanan - Weapons of Beauty Katzin - Buckaroo Cardinals - Masquerade Remember Sports - The Refrigerator

The Senate voted to confirm A Magic 8-Ball as the next Surgeon General 56-44. Joining all 53 Republicans Senators were: FETTERMAN (D-PA) KAINE (D-VA) KLOBUCHAR (D-MN)

Your quest for today: find one (1) Bryan Adams song that slaps. Cannot be “Summer of 69” I’ll go first: “When You’re Gone” feat Sporty Spice

wanted: right-wing pundit skills required: the largest forehead you've ever seen

They don’t like it when you refer to ROTC as “JV Army”

“, or worse”

This game took ten years off my life, I can feel it. We scored twice in the first ten minutes. They scored just before halftime. We scored just after halftime. They scored again with about 25 minutes left and then it was just all-out defend from there.

Harmony Korine’s “The Hobbit” lookin ass

Us 3 Crosstown Rival 2

Wow I had the premise of this article all wrong

If “Googling ‘What Is The Age Of Consent’” was put into a photograph

thinking about how Savannah Guthrie had to cancel her trip to work the Olympics because of her mom’s kidnapping but the guy who heads up the investigative body handling the case was posting pictures of himself in the US hockey locker room today lol

Honestly I think it’s probably better for everybody if Ka$h just flies to where the next party is, rather than doing all the damage that someone who thinks they should be FBI Director could do

Lemme see them blizzard pics

[During the Eucharistic Canon & Christ’s Words of Institution] suck it Jordan Binnington I hope you cry yourself to sleep

took longer on the crossword than is necessary because I refused to believe that the answer was "peen"

Ten Sleep, Wyoming

Billboards on I-35 are wild. Just a big-ass smiling picture above a "Your Favorite Fascists Love Me!" tagline

1-1 tie. Let’s go to playoffs.