Government overreach, in my home state nobody can stop me from eating as many raccoon penises as I like

Dog lmao

glad i take 5 minute showers instead of ten minute showers to save the planet

he means they're going to steal your cash and shoot you if you resist, btw

Just heard a clip of Sam Alito talking about mail in ballots today and he sounds **indistinguishable** from a run of the mill YouTube conspiracy theorist. You can tell his mind is basting in right wing propaganda all day long.

yeah so I don’t think the choice we’re being offered is “pay the police to play Candy Crush or pay them to lock up your neighbors” it’s that this even *being a job* is a choice and we can unmake it at any time

Wild how every single transphobe is a pedo

pure doom, pc (1995) archive.org/details/pure...

It is kind of insane how intense the memetic evolutionary pressure has been. Memes from 2005 that had most of the Internet in stitches for significant portions of a year wouldn't even grab one's attention today

can it get stupider? I find it hard to visualize how it can get stupider

Space aliens: Do you love your kids? Americans: Ya Space aliens: How much? Americans: Make an offer, times are tough www.reddit.com/r/Disneyland...

WE LIVE IN THE FUCKING FUTURE OUR KIDS SHOULD NOT HAVE TO BE WORKING AT ALL NEVER MIND THE GRAVEYARD SHIFT AT THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE

the human body was not designed to know what the worst person in the world is doing every fifteen minutes

Once again, it’s important to remember that the stock market long ago ceased to be linked to a rational valuation of the companies listed and is just a mood ring for rich people.

Trump Wakes From Beautiful Dream Kissing Underage Girl To Find Face Being Licked By St. Bernard https://theonion.com/trump-wakes-from-beautiful-dream-kissing-underage-girl-to-find-face-being-licked-by-st-bernard/

At this point I don't wonder how much insider trading is going on. I wonder how much policy is being made with the purpose of insider trading on it.

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to put on a tactical vest and go to the newark airport at 6 am on monday. your order is to wander around like a confused oaf. when a mom drops her sandwich at jersey mike's and scares you, pull out your gun and start shooting. good luck soldier

Damn, Gerry Baker. 👀

The two most ineffective losers on earth

It all makes more sense when you accept that the American criminal justice system is designed to process cases and find guilt the way McDonald’s produces hamburgers; actually separating the guilty from the innocent is not an intended feature.

just one reporter needs to ask do you know how stupid you sound

Literally right next to the “can you spot human trafficking?” signs in every airport, you can watch the state traffic people in real time

Basically, Trump sees the ayatollah as an unruly pro wrestler who is off script doing a shoot and the ayatollah sees Trump as the guy who killed his family.

Fortunately, wargaming has given me extensive experience of situations where wars spiral out of control to the point your war aims are just to return to the status quo ante. That's how I know what these guys need to do now is load from an old autosave.

From the same article. It was a good article.

*first day on arrakis, haven't got the hang of walking without rhythm* *hear a low rumbling* worm (muffled but becoming less so): THEY CALL ME DR. WORM GOOD MORNING HOW ARE YOU I'M DOCTOR WORM I LIKE TO PLAY THE DRUMS *as i am swallowed by worm* I THINK I'M GETTING GOOD BUT I CAN HANDLE CRITICISM

if you're travelling and you are a documented citizen (esp if you're white/white-passing), you need to speak up & interrupt any racial profiling you witness. We are absolutely defeated if we allow ICE agents to harass people in the broad light of crowded airports. Don't be a good deputy citizen.

- Pace yourself - don’t go too crazy - no fedposting - stay on top of regulating your nervous system - act local - find people who’ve been doing the work and ask how you can help - tend to the myriad biological needs we need as confused little apes - give grace to dysregulated people on your side

in Trump 1 you could sorta predict (or at least trace) his moods and opinions to specific Cable News Programming (largely Fox), and what's bleaker is that now the filtering is done by advisors he values like better sons and also the feverswammped groyper underlings they have feeding them tiktoks.

Hi, political scientist here. Did you know we have an extensive body of research and theory that says if people believe you will violently betray them, they are less likely to enter into an agreement with you? I swear to God I have a real, non-bullshit job.

imagining if iran bombed dc killing the us president, politicians, diplomats, and top generals

I wanted to synthesize my thoughts about Resident Evil Requiem, a game I truly loved in its first half and just kinda enjoyed hanging out with in its second. So I went to my computer and pushed a bunch of keys on the keyboard and now there's this review you can read:

So like, are a bunch of planes taking off half full or what? Or are airlines holding planes, and if so how long are they willing to do this before just canceling the flight outright? Can you imagine taking 6 fucking hours to get through security only to have your flight canceled?

Weird. I thought everyone was really happy with their deals?

wait lol the airport ice guys are gonna have nametags right

Greg Bovino holding a carry-on bag, insistently asking whose it is while craning his neck to scowl up at me.

I like to yell "Dodgson! We've got Dodgson here!" in public places just to see if anyone cares.

This is a fascist secret police force attacking the freedom of movement of US citizens.

If you're not able to pay extra for sustainable assassins, then you shouldn't be hiring any of them

trump hitting the "deploy ICE" button when he doesn't get what he wants has the same intellectual and emotional valence as a dog mashing a "give TREATS" button

Eradicating fossil fuels, driving up the price of beef, cutting the supply of pesticides used in factory farming, man this Trump guy is big on the Green New Deal huh

Is there a hyperspecific internet meme or joke that makes you laugh every time despite the amount of background required to understand it? I'll start. youtu.be/lVH3VnRWwbQ

POV: you didn’t take your iPad out of your luggage in time at the airport.

Expecting either Beyond or Impossible to capitalize on the rising cost of beef while pushing into the MAHA market by offering fake meat with Real Beef Tallow.

who’s “we?” Lol

floorplan for a $3000/mo apartment listing in flatbush