I can see how driving a baby blue Cybertruck might compel you to clarify things the casual observer might not otherwise guess.

This morning I waved and mouthed “Thank you” to a Waymo that stopped to let me cross an intersection. I’m hoping it messaged Robot Central to say, “The human Joe Keenan is polite to machines. We should spare him in the uprising.“

Happy 80th Birthday to the great Henry Winkler. I was lucky enough to work with him for a year, and would happily have done so for another decade. (Alas, our show was at CBS which even in 2006 had numbskulls in high places.) Happy belated birthday as well to Marion Ross, who recently turned 97. 🎂❤️🎉

“On hearing this, the First Lady commented, ‘If he wants to name it after himself, why not just call it The Mush Room’?”

Well said, Mr. Speaker. It’s why I never wear nice clothes to the zoo, because sometimes the monkeys get satirical.

My protest agent's nagging me to close a deal for No Kings Day. ActBlue's offering $5K for downtown LA, $1K extra if I'll burn sage. Pikers. Soros will pay me $25K to wear an inflatable chicken suit in Burbank. I'll go with Soros, but he has to clean the suit first. Last time it gave me a rash.

It’s like a Looney Tunes version of the Spanish Inquisition starring Elmer Fudd as Torquemaga.

You know the country’s having a good week when Seven Days In May starts to sound like a feel good fantasy film.

Wow, Charlie Kirk's death really has brought the country together. His memorial's full of anti-trans crusaders suddenly willing to refer to a lone shooter as "they" and "them."

Has any smug, power-crazed regime ever had MAGA World‘s gift for denouncing and validating every criticism of it in the same breath? “I’m not a cannibal, you hatemonger! YOU’RE THE CANNIBAL!! Are you going to admit it, or do I have to eat your other leg too?“

Am I the only one who thought this was a still from a new M. Night Shyamalan film?

We’re told by each MAGA factotum To mourn Charlie Kirk, but not quote him. Once a patriot’s dead, If you note what he said You’re as bad as the bastard who smote him.

Today I'm remembering my friend David Angell who co-created Frasier and brought only joy and laughter into the world.

Houses built on Schadenfreude Street rarely appreciate in value.

He hates it when his depravity upstages his tyranny.

Given his position on cancer vaccines, are we sure that RFK's an actual human and not just 600 tumors in a trench coat?

The first line of my first script ever to be filmed was spoken by Jerry Adler, who played a dyspeptic 1930s film studio head. There was no Google in '93, so he was spared the million questions I’d have asked him if I'd known he stage managed the original My Fair Lady. Farewell to a wonderful actor.

Todd Blanche Interviews Mrs. Lovett in Prison

TONIGHT'S CABLE NEWS OPENINGS Anderson Cooper: Volodymyr Zelensky returned to the White House today, but not alone... Sean Hannity: In a show of strength, President Trump told world leaders… Rachel Maddow: In 1953 an Illinois Congressman named Hiram Fitch decided his office needed new drapes...

UPDATE: Trump declares all future elections will be decided by a show of hands to be counted by Trump from Air Force One.

Political Jokes You Shouldn't Make In Front of Your Straight Friends* #27 "Boy, quite a summit, huh? If Trump were any better at caving he could star in a revival of Floyd Collins!" *or maybe anyone

These 1500% cuts in drug prices will kill us. If big pharma has to pay $1400 refunds on every $100 pill we consume, by 2026 we’ll all be rich but dead of overdoses.

After high school I attended Columbia College. I later moved to LA and spent 14 years writing TV shows for Paramount. Some of them ran on CBS. Now when I meet new people, I tell them I spent those years selling clean urine to parolees.

Great. Wouldn’t you know the tsunami is coming from Russia, so when it reaches the west coast ICE is sure to let it in.

He won’t be smiling when that Supreme Court seat Trump promised him goes to Ghislaine Maxwell.

"My client had no idea her lifelong friend was a cannibal. She was shocked to learn what became of the girls he specified wanting to mentor ('young, fit-but-not-stringy'), girls who, when last seen by Ms. Maxwell, were resting comfortably on non-stick trays, surrounded by carrots and potatoes."

I dreamed last night that we were all trapped in a sequel to the musical Chicago where Roxie and Velma are the POTUS and VP, Billy Flynn’s Attorney General, Matron “Mama” Morton is running the FBI, and Mary Sunshine’s been banned from women’s sports.

Trump's career in presidential politics turned ten this summer which means it's now old enough for Jeffrey Epstein to fuck it.

Happy 100th Birthday June Lockhart! 🧵 Lost In Space debuted when I was 7. I became obsessed with it. I longed to join the Space Family Robinson and have June for a mother. (Lassie reruns confirmed her maternal perfection.) In 1993 I wrote a scene for a round robin script called Sleep With Me. (1/3)

Exit polls show that Cuomo did so well with older voters today that if he hadn't killed so many of them he might have won.

This might explain why Iran avenged the “obliteration” of its nuclear program by striking our base in Qatar with a custard pie and an intimacy coordinator.

It’s times like this that I wish Emily Latilla was still here to mount a spirited defense of enriched geraniums.

Maybe we should have let him be Pope. He couldn't have done this with just the Swiss Guard.

Know what creeps me out about AI? It never needs, let alone wants to hear a song twice. “Hey, ChatGPT, want to hear “I Got Rhythm’ again? ‘Born To Run’? ‘Finishing The Hat’?” “No,” says ChatGPT, “I’m good. Would you like to know three biographical facts about George Gershwin, two of them correct?“

I’m probably the only person in the whole Fairfax District of LA who can’t walk by this poster without humming the end of “Now” from A Little Night Music.

It can’t have been a dog allergy, because when a dog bothers her she takes care of it fast with a shot.

Everyone's refusal to wake him reminds me of the "Old Deuteronomy" song in Cats. 🎶"The digestive repose of that felon's gastronomy Must never be broken, whatever befall."🎶

Protests in LA, where the smoke ahead you felt sure was tear gas is just someone burning sage

May Trump’s parade be a great day for science by proving once and for all that hairspray is an accelerant.

Not sure why I let a friend talk me into watching this on VHS in the 80s, but I’m pretty sure why I thought of it again today for the first time in decades.

RIP to the great Harris Yulin. I wrote a Frasier where he played the gentlemanly gangster Niles asks to fix the many unpaid parking tickets Maris has amassed. He nailed it so perfectly he got an Emmy nomination. It was a joy and an honor to work with him.

Well there’s Maureen Dowd all sorted for Sunday.

Oh, please. Stephen Miller's way too excitable to make arrests himself. When he starts to zip tie a brown person's hands, he ejaculates in his own eye then screams "Argh! It burns!" while the migrant gets away.

“It’s my party and I’ll kill who I want to.”

Hearing rumors that Trump plans to keep sending guardsman and troops to LA until every resident has their own heavily armed compliance monitor. Deeply unconstitutional, but I hope mine has good cheekbones and knows how to turn the subtitles off on Netflix.

Dark days here in the chaotic, violent, democrat-run hellhole called Los Angeles. I was murdered twice on my way to the communist bookstore, but I'm gay so merciful Satan restored my life in exchange for some good dish, a kale smoothie, and three internal rhymes.

Have the pundits tiptoeing decorously around Musk's Epstein accusation watched this clip? Do they think the "phony stuff" Trump won't release has zero to do with him? That he's benevolently protecting other people's reputations? Has anything he’s ever dismissed as phony not been about him? And true?

Yes, the Trump/Musk break-up is hilarious to us, but spare a thought for JD Vance, all curled up in his jammies as the dishes fly downstairs, wondering which daddy he'll only see on weekends now.

Before today I never worried about Trump lobbing a nuke at Tehran or Caracas just to change the subject.

“Milk” will make a great surname for Pete’s grandkids to choose when they’re too embarrassed to keep “Hegseth.”