Maybe Bernie thinks Janet Mills is too old? 😈

RFK Jr gets so angry he turns back to his natural color

The inflatables have made it to Broadview.

Chief Justice Roberts asks everyone to stop comparing him to Roger Taney, explaining that he's always been "more of a Carl Schmitt guy"

I feel like this photo of masked, armed men pepper spraying a pastor protecting his community is going to be a defining picture of this moment in America for a long, long time.

We are thrilled to announce that our NEW Large Language Model will be released on 11.18.25.

my scientists say to me, mr president, we got the best medbeds in the world. i saw on tv they recreated a woman from just her hand. beautiful woman by the way, it’s amazing what science can do. then the channel switched to a loud talk show host on a cruise. i didn’t care for him

Talk Of Fascism Dangerous, Warns Ministry Of Compliance

Oh yeah Epstein and Bannon used to be tight until Epstein threw Bannon off the island because Bannon ignored the dress code and kept dissolving hobos in acid in the hot tub in the Amy Fisher Lounge.

got raptured, sorry. my 2009 honda is stuck in the middle lane of the freeway, just kinda idling. can somebody go pick it up. yeah i'm back. it was boring there, you can't post

It's all fun and games until a cop handles a Tylenol gelcap with no gloves and within seconds their socks are bothering them.

look I know this is a controversial position but I feel like we maybe shouldn’t have let the worst and most sociopathic tech bros on the planet amass infinite money and power holy hell

Imagine capitulating to a president that is so underwater that he doesn't even have 50% approval with white people as a white supremacist

Ezra Klein is a smart guy and also an idiot. I can sympathize, but I won't.

Guy who sells doo doo (squinting wisely and doing visionary voice): We believe within 10 years the world economy will be almost completely powered by doo doo

🎶Somehow it is strange to hear the State Department say "You are living in the free world, in the free world you must stay"🎶

“I’m strong and I want to have like fifty kids and a farm” of course you do. You’re twelve. “I don’t want to eat vegetables I think steak and French fries is the only meal” hell yeah homie you’re twelve. “Maybe if there’s crime we should just send the army” bless your heart my twelve year old buddy

working on a new unified theory of american reality i'm calling "everyone is twelve now"

[Todd Snider voice]: Jesus went electric and he never looked back

My sources point to an "augmented turducken scenario", i.e. dogs eating RFK Jr. eating an opossum eating some insects, etc.

Lord have mercy, they're Hellfire-striking Chris-Crafts down there! Trying to gin up a honky-Tonkin Incident I guess

I'd also be OK with the first day of fall, could even change what we play before games and ceremonies. Earth, Wind & Fire > Francis Scott Key

(Small domino) Joe Kennedy Jr. dies in WWII leaving his father’s ambitions on the shoulders of younger brother John Fitzgerald (Big domino) HHS Secretary RFK Jr concedes the flesh eating screwworms make some good points

In fairness, he turned to a life of crime long before he entered politics

The reviled Basileus plans to walk the streets of Constantinople, which always turns out fine

JD VANCE, BUT FRENCH (somehow worse): I'm highly skeptical that a majority of Algiers residents don't want their city to have more public safety

I've learned a lot from @jessedjenkins.com and @robinsonmeyer.bsky.social on the Shift Change summer school. I now understand what it means that northwest Arkansas is a "load pocket" but still outraged that SWEPCO wants to raise our rates 27% to *extend* the life of a coal power plant!

AI churns out Joe's Garage Acts I-III but somehow more offensive, also competely devoid of messages

This is one of the most beautiful things I have witnessed, the craft here is impeccable.

If you're a robocop you're required to tell me

"Our history" Shut up, you racist drunk Yankee idiot

Dems were 1/3 of Arkansas's 2024 electorate and have no statewide or national representation. This is almost perfectly mirrored by the Massachusetts GOP. The symmetry shatters here: the Left wants to fix malapportionment, the Right wants to make it worse!

Riz Ahmed from Nimona, what the hell bro??

Immigration is good actually

I don't even engage with it deliberately, every time something from the manosphere is brought to my attention it's a fucking jump scare

the republican party is a criminal conspiracy against the american republic

Mr. Trump told me Jeff keeps taking his teen spa workers so I asked how many teens he has and he said he just goes to the Jr. High and gets a new one afterwards so I said it sounds like he’s just feeding teen girls to Epstein and then Ivanka started crying.

Rolling up to the tesla diner in my cybertruck, dressed as a ninja on Talk Like a Pirate Day. I haven't spoken to my children in months.

As a human being, I'm just glad someone is doing the work to forestall the most terrible climate outcomes. As a reluctantly patriotic American, I'm sad for my compatriots that this opportunity for jobs & development is passing us by. We used to lead.

If 25% of the population believed that a creature called ‘Glonzo’ caused high power prices by chewing through transmission lines, any competent politician would be negligent in not trying to find a way to exploit this. This doesn’t mean that these people wouldn’t be fucking morons.

With the revelations of the President, Cabinet, & congressional GOP's roles in Epstein's crimes and the subsequent cover-up, the United States found itself in 2025 without a properly constituted head of state, a phenomenon now referred to by scholars as Pedovacantism.

I find arguments positing the cultural hegemony of liberalism are ironically blinkered by their proponents' "bubbles". Leave the metropole, and you'll find plenty of people saying the things you're supposedly not allowed to say.

All else aside, being angry that a Superman movie has a simplistic moral message rather than being, like, Syriana? Objectively funny

Y'all is it good when the European trade negotiators are speaking in koans? They seem past it, which I sympathize with.

What I really want to be is a road house bouncer.

Lol that is such a good response tho

Many people are saying that the hacker "Crémieux" is a racist named Jordan Lasker, and that the NYT editors/publishers are fellow racists trying to fuck over Zohran Mamdani