for some reason sam doesn't love it when i call myself a "homely schoolmarm"

i feel like the only thing i do is fetch 2fa codes . i can't fucking believe they foisted this on us all. earlier today a website asked me for a phone number for 2FA to log in but said it didn't even have to be the # on my account. that could be anyone man they're just doing this to dick you around

new action button video this is a religious occasion in my household

gamers,

Not to be this kind of poster but genuinely honest to god. The sexiest most beautiful and interesting woman you know has carpal tunnel

Unlimited tapas glitch

i need disgusting fries in my disgusting body right now

A true heater 48 hours for The Onion, in my unbiased opinion.

IM SO TALENTED

a new nintendo console doesn't truly come out until someone makes a working emulator for it

my star trek decades collection that i did back in 2021 ✨ all the drawings are inspired by the decade each show started airing in! #startrek

UPS..... TRUST you will be dealt with....

I really like living on a planet with thunder

Strom Thurmond BTFO

"who's the pronoun now dipshit" is gonna hold some real estate in my brain for a long time i think lol

My god. I forgot how beautiful and talented I am.

pc arrives today....

Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I am very, very weak, but they are two different things.

hi, it's so nice to finally meet you. I'm one of the 3 guys your bisexual girlfriend finds attractive. I know! what are the odds!

destiny's child

sometimes a whole city drinks pbr because their tap water has lead

it's still so funny and stupid how the French call it "le wokisme" I really can't get over it

Ed’s Work Clothes Lake Village, IN

We’re rolling forward! By this time next year, CTA will have SIX newly reconstructed and fully accessible rail stations! Today, CTA celebrated the progress made as part of the All Stations Accessibility Program (ASAP).

It’s no self-esteem Monday

alcoholics aren’t addicted to alcohol they’re just addicted to drinking liquids

Some ppl are horny for fat ppl in this really weird all-out performative way like it’s not very obviously a meme for them. Idk how else to explain it.

bunny times make kitty women kitty times make doggy women doggy times make bunny women

i'm chuckle he's fuck

i wish the popular with friends tab went on forever

im going to start wearing a fake wedding band around when i go out this is getting ridiculous

it's cool and based to commit patricide

Turns out i've been pronouncing doechii so wrong it will rattle your bones

the sickos man is very cold. let him inside

VOLITION - Subdue the regret. Dust yourself off, proceed. You'll get it in the next life, where you don't make mistakes. Do what you can with this one, while you're alive.

2025: Year of the warrior, year of bushido

ENDURANCE - It's time to wipe that decadent homo-sexual grin off your face.

FML. Insurance just denied coverage for being on the lake with a cold beer and sent me a mindfulness worksheet instead.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Showing up to work on time is *hard* -- no, scratch that, showing up to work *at all* is difficult.

for some reason nobody wants to do therapy over spring break

game that im spending a normal amount of time on