taking my first woodworking class tonight. yes I am indeed working that wood

hmm it says here in your chart you've been suffering with "tewwible diawwea"

they're taking turns "pulling my strategic lever" in the conference room

fuck it, I'm a short "story" writer. why torture myself into being a novelist. it would make no material difference as far as readership

if I see a round hole, you bet I'm going to try and ram a square peg into it

I think of all of you as not only my bro but also my chat

I've become addicted to Balatro. and stimulants

my lived experience says otherwise. they love these Big Ass Balls

I'll make a mother out of you yet

Frot for the Future

Pete: damn it Don, his name is jumpman, he kicks turtles around, it's not rocket science Don Draper taking a long cigarette drag: his name is mario, and you're right, he's not a rocket scientist. Suddenly gets very wistful Don: he's a plumber... a working man. He works with his hands...

Movies are more real than reality to most Americans. I wrote about it here: substack.com/home/post/p-...

basically I came to the middle aged crossroads of my life and had to decide if I wanted to be Daddy or a long fading twink and I made my choice

empaths, they're grinding you for XP

1 like = 1 ball tickle

every shirt can be a crop top if you wash and dry it enough

it seems like no one is coming here for the World Cup. maybe not even all the players. which is kinda funny, though the reasons aren't

thanks to Claude, I can experience a hands free orgasm whenever I want. AI is here to stay

getting pretty nervous about this hentai virus outbreak stuff. I don't wanna catch that

there are many ways to die and I will experience all of them

heh you fool. you can't make me care about that

(trying to get people to do a poker night) ok it's like balatro with other people at my apartment

it's called parallel play, tone. you don't even touch each other but you get off in the same room

it just dawned on me my first book is over 6 years old. it came out the week the covid shutdown started lol

The Battle Over My Bulge

how your email finds me

uhh it's actually a triptych of thematically linked novelettes. publishing contract, please

the compliment sandwich or the coward's meal?

there are too many dogs in this city

well at least there are no existing photographs of me brooding into the camera with an unlit cigarette dangling from my mouth

hey you mind if I

microdosing Blue Chew because you never know when someone will challenge you to wrestle

I'm putting in for a leveraged buyout of that ass

there's something to be said for, well, there's something to be said

I'm an introvert, I'm INTJ, I'm a Sagittarius, my mother drank while pregnant with me

realistically, what is everyone so "busy" doing all the time?

thank you for your radical honesty

do you want to be in my short film?

The Brothers Poo

(first day teaching high school english) I think it's fair to say, up to this point, your parents have taught you how to live. well, in this class, I dare say I will teach you all how to die

AI's not all bad actually. you can bill a lot of time to "internal: experimentation with AI" and make everyone look at your shitty Gem like you discovered fire

so many people want to be the king crab of the bucket

maybe human existence has always been stupid but it feels like I was born into a very stupid time

took off my pants at Planet Fitness and it set off the Lunk Alarm?

it's poetic to walk ourselves into extinction because of an unending desire for even more "convenience"

gonna have to take the contrarian view here and say Barbarian and Weapons were Fine. I think both kind of fell apart in the third act. so the new RE movie is also probably whatever

hey it makes sense to me

so what're you doing later? much later. when it gets darker than you thought possible. when my touch feels like the shore in an endless sea of night. wanna get dinner?