This ought to be engraved somewhere.

My electricity has gone out and I am wearing no bra and pajama pants in glorious anticipation of working from home, but also, my stove is induction so I can't make coffee. Who will ultimately prevail in this battle between laziness and desperation???

They will never attribute autism to something that Dads do. Or some shortfall in public services or environmental standards. They will wonder aloud with no evidence or bad evidence, blaming stuff they already dislike, and somehow always manage to stay in their "mum's fault" lane.

Well, there it is. Sinclair is digging in for a fight, so please help push back -- find stations in your area, watch their local news to see what ads they run, then write those advertisers to tell them you're boycotting as long as they're on a Sinclair station. List here: sbgi.net/tv-stations/

Welp, I have just been told I need to redo the website for our multicultural program hosted by a university because it uses the word "diverse" as in "a diverse group of students." They are afraid of getting flagged by the US government. Literal word police is so ridiculously dystopian.

It’s not a crime to be in this country as an undocumented person. It’s a civil violation. But you know what is a crime? Taking a bribe from undercover agents in exchange for the promise of government contracts WHEN YOU’RE THE FCKING BORDER CZAR.

There is no world in which it is normal for the president to publicly call upon his attorney general to hurry up and prosecute his political foes. It’s like the Watergate tapes but posted on social media. Let’s get a grip on what’s happening here.

Anyone who signs this pledge is not a journalist.

If it were a choice between signing my name to this pledge or losing my credentials, I’d hand over my badge and still break news you wanted kept secret. This is going to backfire so hard. Do. Not. Sign.

I still use Word 2010 because it works just fine, thank you and I refuse to pay a subscription for what should be a single purchase product! (Side benefit; no AI)

[writing the constitution] Benjamin Franklin: Write down "no dumb fucks as president" Alexander Hamilton: Stop saying that Benjamin Franklin: I'm tellin' you. You're gonna regret not writing that down

There are pivotal cultural moments when the Onion has been there for us. Just when we need them most, they're here again.

Since the orange idiot hates being mocked, I am begging the late night hosts, SNL, comedians, etc to throw together a Celebrate Free Speech event in which they just ROAST TF out of him for an entire televised evening. Like the White House Correspondents but gloves off & no one boring invited.

Since the orange idiot hates being mocked, I am begging the late night hosts, SNL, comedians, etc to throw together a Celebrate Free Speech event in which they just ROAST TF out of him for an entire televised evening. Like the White House Correspondents but gloves off & no one boring invited.

I'm also writing NBC to praise Seth Myers. Closer Look is fantastic, and Sauron is already talking about him next: help.nbc.com/hc/en-us/req...

Let ABC know how you feel about their bowing to the thugs in power and cancelling Jimmy Kimmel's show: support.abc.com/hc/en-us/req...

In light of today’s news I’d like to remind you that this is a real newspaper clipping. History repeats itself when we don’t stop it.

1. The smell of jasmine or lavender on a breeze 2. That feeling when someone slips their hand into yours 3. Crusty baguette 4. Crying laughing 5. Half a second before falling asleep when your brain goes all snuggly

Guys thank you for allowing me to fly you to my private island. Have fun but please respect my boundaries vis a vis minors trafficking. That’s just for me, sorry. Help yourself to ANYTHING in the fridge tho

A few exceptions, but overall really excited to see so many new & deserving wins tonight! #Emmys show was pretty terrible but the voters did good.

This post that a friend of my partner's shared on FB potentially explains the Kristin Chenoweth thing, and is frightening.

A must read.

A white cishet ultra conservative shot and killed another white cishet ultra conservative and now the other white cishet ultra conservatives are making it the problem of everyone else but themselves, which is the whitest most ultra conservative shit there is.

Just gonna drop this here tonight wapo.st/3VKVNT2

GHISLAINE MAXWELL: here we go, boss. a big book of letters from all of your horrible best friends JEFF EPSTEIN: oh neat! look at this one from Donald GHISLAINE: that one's fake actually

i cannot believe they are expecting us to play along with this "might not be his signature" farce and that a lot of people actually are, i feel like ive lost my goddam mind

Trump 2024: I will be the President of peace. Trump 2025: THE DEPARTMENT OF WAR WILL NOT REST UNTIL WE HAVE DEFEATED CHICAGO

Why, yes, I HAD planned to escape from the house through the secret portal in the bathroom, so it's a good thing my dog leaped up out of a dead sleep to follow me in here! Clever girl, not falling for my sneaky tricks. 10/10

Slightly diminish a book. The Adequate Gatsby

I used to be a personal trainer and nutritionist, and honestly had no idea alcohol went beyond "risk factor" to "clear link." As someone already at high risk for breast cancer, I'm legit shook.

Anyway if you ever wonder "what radicalized me", I'd have to say it's the unending torrent of horror, if I had to narrow it down

There's some movie in which someone shouts, "Die! Why won't you fucking die?!" and then closes a door as they exit and I can't remember where it's from, but it's been on my mind all the time lately for inexplicable reasons.

Wife: I'll buy a subscription to any publication that writes one honest story about the "masculinity crisis" that just says "Men want to be able to treat women like shit and still get laid" and just be done with it. There's no more depth to the discussion. There is no nuance.

I've joked a bunch of times about how much fucking money I'd make if I rebranded far right and started espousing hate. It's so fucking lucrative to be a right wing shill you have no idea. But I'm not. Anyway.

read this thread. absolutely chilling. forcibly inserting ICE ads into a podcast, and deliberately manipulating the mechanism through which creators have any control at all over which ads are included. this is horrible

The bipartisan Restore Trust in Congress Act is a necessary step to ban Members of Congress and their families from engaging in insider trading. It is time to pass this bill and make it clear to the American people that their elected officials put them first.

People love it

We built a calculator that doesn't work, but don't worry, it's also a plagiarism machine that will tell you to kill yourself. It runs on the world's oceans and costs 10 trillion dollars.

‼️‼️

I mean, this isn’t wrong. Yes, RFK Jr should be fired (he never should have been nominated or confirmed in the first place); but Trump will never do the right thing, and we all know it. Congress, however, can stop this madness. And they all know it is madness. Every last one of them. #IMPEACH

"I am not here to make a careful comprehensive argument, because people have already done that. I am here to be rude, because this is a rude technology, and it deserves a rude response." anthonymoser.github.io/writing/ai/h...

Yes, good, excellent. Let’s get on that.

There can’t be any gun restrictions because we have to protect against federal government tyranny, and if kids get shot we just have to live with it. Also the President can send troops to cities because the federal government can do whatever it wants. These two ideas are consistent and reasonable.

this (from the brilliant @everywhereist.bsky.social) puts into words the big black tangle of frustration i have whenever i get the same question

Consumer-facing "A.i." in education is evil and if you push it on kids to make "art" you're hurting them.

You're damned right.

Can someone honestly please explain to me why, "she believed she could, so she did" is on EVERYTHING?? I was trying to buy my daughter a Broadway musical charm bracelet and it was on every single one...even Hamilton. What is this trend?? Where is it from??