Beginning a new series where I just illustrate Trump speeches with art.

“If the government decides, very quickly, to bulldoze the Statue of Liberty... nothing can be done?” asked Judge Patricia Millett. “I think that’s right, yes,” responded DOJ attorney Yaakov Roth www.politico.com/news/2026/06...

You want to see Norway men’s national football team’s official photo for World Cup 2026 www.nytimes.com/athletic/733...

gonna fire all the spies, should be fine

Happy Friday! It's your morning news roundup! You've Got To Have Friends! Tabs, Fri., June 5, 2026 www.wonkette.com/p/youve-got-... By Rebecca Schoenkopf @wonkette.bsky.social

What if they just made an entire guy out of red flags?

well I sure did not like that Graham Platner story!

Telling 2014 me that Bill Kristol would one day be recommending Wonkette stories and watching 2014 me slide carefully but quickly away from an obvious lunatic.

Joe Biden did these things already, plus the IRS freefile. It was awesome! Nobody noticed.

Now this is how you report it:

oh no he's gonna sue them for an opinion again

You come to me, on the day of my son's wedding, which I am not attending

why, is the war going poorly?

lol mean

SEE YOU NEXT TULSI haha lame, I suck

I assumed this was going to be a Murphy Brown situation. No, they're mad she's having a baby with her husband, who is a man. open.substack.com/pub/wonkette...

Happy Friday! It's your morning news roundup! Pay The F*ck Up! Tabs, Fri., May 22, 2026 www.wonkette.com/p/pay-the-fc... By Rebecca Schoenkopf @wonkette.bsky.social

If I ever launched an Abolish the Senate campaign, I'd start by taking out billboards all over Texas with images of stereotypical Vermonters saying things like "we choose what's best for Texas" and Rhode Islanders saying "Thankfully, the Senate makes sure my vote counts 30 times more than a Texan's"

Kat Abughazaleh has the chance to do the funniest thing

look at his stupid face though

fuckin YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Asia The Who The Stones / Living Color Prince Arrested Development Pfunk Southern Culture on the Skids Chris Isaak / Bo Diddley Ani di Franco Wyclef Jean Shit looks like I haven't been to a concert in about 20 years

Remember when Alex Pretti killed two people? John Fetterman does.

Barely relevant, but Southland (LA cop show) was SO GOOD. Every time I met a cop I'd ask them if they watched it. They said it was SO GOOD.

I *SAID* Hawaii field trip report!

Misinformation *and Wonkette*! :D

I think it's an advance signing bonus for these idiots to do the same thing in our upcoming elections.

Who'll be the first "liberal" to moan for the norms? A) Van Jones B) Van Jones C) Can't think of anybody besides Van Jones

psst also, owners can also "work there" if they do in fact still work there

I will just say this: When Katie Drummond was running The Outline (which she left off her bio there), they wrote a super mean story about me that hurt my feelings a lot, and I complained to her (earnestly and politely) on Twitter. She said that was harassment. But Wired under her is awesome fr.

my last Uber driver was a Brooklyn dude in Honolulu who turns his whole ass minivan into an Alice in Wonderland joint, so, yes.

Harris/Walz would’ve won if those fucking establishment consultant hacks had just gotten out of the way and let them say “These freaks are weird!” every day for three months and you’ll never convince me otherwise

I'm gonna be the dick here and say what Carney should already know: Obama, the forever president, should not actually be addressed as President Obama. Per Miss Manners, there's only one president (horck, vomit, pass out, die) at a time.

bad link, try again www.nytimes.com/2026/05/08/b...

what an interesting dek this is; it's ABC that's "aggressive" www.nytimes.com/2026/05/08/b...

@drewmagary.bsky.social I just got an email from the New York Press Club, turns out there's a Gold Keyboard Award. how embarrassing! (for them I mean.)

Happy Friday! It's your morning news roundup! Get On The Crazy Train! Tabs, Fri., May 8, 2026 www.wonkette.com/p/get-on-the... By Rebecca Schoenkopf @wonkette.bsky.social

I never would have known about the head of T&S's porn habits if it weren't for the bans + Streisand effect. Funnily, I was talking about the Streisand effect today, before I knew about this. And here's one of my fav things I wrote for @wonkette.bsky.social. Enjoy! www.wonkette.com/p/monty-benn...

I DO love illegal immigrants. I would like those drinks and that sign.

This is how I think about Platner, better than I have been able to say so far. So from now on, in all future Internet debates, I will just be quoting Dok at you.

So they "delayed" the primaries so they could redistrict. Voting was supposed to start TOMORROW. Once they redistrict, what will the deadline be to get signatures/get on the ballot? Will the Louisiana Dem Party make sure to get a candidate in every district? I'm calling dummymander. Make it hurt.

or y'all can watch it free on their youtube right here, and THEN subscribe. (Also, that lady in the original post below is a DIFFERENT middle age lady in glasses, not me!) www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnTk...

Defector and @wonkette.bsky.social have gotten me through a lot. Subscribe!

Some people say we don’t build beautiful things anymore and, like, lol. Motherfuckers, we built this:

In the Little Mermaid Ariel doesn't know what a fork is but her Dad carries a fork all the time it is his entire deal.

Robyn brought you a nice time www.wonkette.com/p/congressio...

"The Comey team will challenge his latest fake indictment as vindictive prosecution... [asking] the judge to 86 the charges, a legal term that means they will ask the judge to let James Comey smother the charges to death with seashells." Thanks to Wonkette for helping me laugh through the pain.

yes, correct. www.wonkette.com/p/trump-know...

It's your Thursday morning news roundup! Ain't No Sunshine. Tabs, Thurs., April 30, 2026 www.wonkette.com/p/aint-no-su... By Rebecca Schoenkopf @wonkette.bsky.social

Looks like the Pete Hegseth hearing was ... puts on shades ... *lit*