Reasons people have canceled their Wonkette subscriptions this week: because we're "obsessed" with Gaza (actually mention it shamefully too little), "which is a hoax," and because we're anti-Woody Allen, who was "consenting adults." (Not consenting adults.) Y'all weird. Anyway!

It's your Wednesday morning news roundup! He's So F*cking Stupid. Tabs, Wed., Sept. 24, 2025 www.wonkette.com/p/hes-so-fck... By Rebecca Schoenkopf @wonkette.bsky.social

I know antifa isn't a real organization because I don't get 40 texts a week from them asking for donations.

Yeah man we should really fight back by staying on X

what's this about then?

Beg pardon? www.nytimes.com/2025/09/20/u...

"when my staff reminded me that Democrats didn't stop him from getting this job, just as by definition they didn't stop any of my staff who have a job from getting their job, I realized we're gonna have to clean house here boys" *breaks out napalm*

OK hivemind. I need to watch Parallax View for my son's conspiracy theory humanities class. But I've canceled Paramount +. I can get it free on Walmart Plus (shut up, at this point it's better than Amazon, Jesus Christ), but does that defeat the purpose of the boycott, or not? You let me know.

well if we're going to start declaring pardons illegal -- and it actually is an unlimited power per the Constitution, you can be as corrupt as you wanna be -- I'd go with "the guys who killed cops while trying to overthrow the government on your order."

Donate to my campaign to make Laura Loomer’s day worse: secure.actblue.com/donate/abu-bluesky

moments ago, ice agents again came out of the broadview detention/“professing” facility to escort a silver suv out of the lot. one of the agents picked up and threw congressional candidate kat abughazaleh to the ground.

Happy Friday! It's your morning news roundup! Get In, Losers. We're Going Cancelling. Tabs, Fri., Sept. 19, 2025 www.wonkette.com/p/get-in-los... By Rebecca Schoenkopf @wonkette.bsky.social

Just now, 11 state and city lawmakers were arrested by DHS police on the 10th floor of 26 Federal Plaza after a hour of demanding access to the ICE lock up on the same floor. @thecity.nyc

Going back to 1998 to explain that in 27 years "Should the sidekick on Win Ben Stein's Money have a network TV show?" will be the most hotly-discussed political issue of the day because President Donald Trump used the assassination of a right-wing podcaster as a pretext for abusing federal power.

We served over 151 million (!) free meals to students last year, saving families an average of $1,000 per student. Students should be able to focus on the classroom, not on where their next meal will come from. We’ve made that a reality in Minnesota.

I guess they were all too busy getting their MBAs to ever read up on the concept of collective action.

Charlie Kirk Fans VERY MAD At ... Indiana Jones Game For Denigrating Fascists www.wonkette.com/p/charlie-ki... By Robyn Pennacchia @robynelyse.bsky.social

Folks, I don’t know what end is up right now.

It's your Wednesday morning news roundup! Everything Is Scary And F*cked! Tabs, Wed., Sept. 17, 2025 www.wonkette.com/p/everything... By Rebecca Schoenkopf @wonkette.bsky.social

question I don't feel like looking up myself right now: Which came first, Charlie Kirk's Professor Watchlist, or Bari Weiss's at Columbia? Probably hers, right? She's old.

Karina Villa protecting her constituents by literally running ICE off the streets in West Chicago and yelling to residents to stay inside their homes.

this isn't just fine, it's GREAT! www.wonkette.com/p/should-mar...

Is Kash Too Good At FBI-ing? And is this other guy about to push him out of his job, UH OH? By @marciej.bsky.social www.wonkette.com/p/is-kash-to...

The meme aftermath of Charlie Kirk’s death (2/2)

here's Charlie Kirk calling for Biden to be killed which no one even blinked about at the time because all of them just routinely talk like this every day

The Ford Foundation knows what it did. Funded Sesame Street and shit.

Hey remember when they made the fbi stop investigating rightwing extremists like the guys who did the okc bombing and probably also killed Charlie Kirk?

Desperate Kash Patel Asks Shooter’s Family If They Can Solve Any Other Cases

this cat looks like one of the Old Master painters who's just slept with three servants, argued viciously with his annoying patron about the inferior ham he receives, and then painted his masterpiece out of spite

“Republicans lament success at creation of gun-filled world they sought” seems like an eminently fair headline, TBQH.

just reposting my post

Huh an awful lot of rhetoric shifted from Old Testament to New Testament over the past few hours

"That's a different type of racist guy who don't be going outside" *Mom nods solemnly and goes back to her baking*

I guess Trump really did think of Kirk like a member of his family.

we must start a 4chan movement that 'ironically' performs acts of charity, which gradually over time inevitably become real virtue.

Congrats happy for you mad kid dot gif. www.wonkette.com/p/how-jealou...

you guys wanna see the table my husband made us for our seventh (wood) anniversary? (Our 11th is in two months. Stop asking him when he's going to make the table okay?) The beam underneath is from a lesbian resale place in Hamtramck, and the slab is white oak from when we lived in Montana.

"I'll see you in Valhalla" ass dork waaaaaaank

Pretty pointedly not saying what dude's "politics" were that he'd recently gotten into henghhhh

You know, just a thought. In the *very, very gross '90s* (feministically), people were still VERY AWARE you couldn't fuck underaged girls. Hence the awful countdown clocks to Britney Spears and the Olsen Twins and the rest of them. These dudes just flaunted it.

They think nobody will see this through all that Reichstag fire smoke.

*extremly gritted teeth*

lol look at this fucking dork

Charlie Kirk was such a deranged racist that he tried to blame the personnel policies at the Austin fire department for flash flood deaths in Kerr County a 130 miles away.

I'm on Team Totally Got Did By Groypers until proven otherwise, and maybe even then.

look at that fuckin leftist