Dumbass Motherfucker Foundation staffers quit and join Stupidass Bitch Foundation

The year I turned 10, it's Kramer v Kramer, which is funny bc my marriage turns 30 next year. If I go by the week I turned 10 it's Where the Buffalo Roam, which seems perfectly appropriate.

#birdbot

We are parents of a trans kid and our family takes this very, very personally. If you intentionally make life harder for our beloved daughter, it’s EXTREMELY hard to think of you as an ally, to say the least. @amyklobuchar.com - you still send us requests for money, while hurting our kid. Disgusted.

we can

Just absolute loser shit here from Matty. Just totally embarrassing thing to say for anybody with a modicum of self-awareness, which, well . . . .

Holy fucking shit

TIL the original lyrics to Deck the Halls are awesome and “don we now our gay apparel” is temperance movement bullshit

I'm searching Getty Images and found some photos credited to the Boston Herald that redact the faces of ICE/federal agents. They don't redact the face of the guy they're arresting. I'm curious about the ethics of doing this. I don't think I've ever seen this on Getty before.

🎶🎄🎅🎶 Simply stabbing/Paul McCartney/in his eye … <<repeat>>🎶🎄🎅🎶

Grandma was a bit of a cunt. So, no.

*youth pastor voice* Let me tell you kids about another carpenter who wasn’t very popular with the authorities

“Are Mormons more Christian than Catholics” - the greatest thread in the history of Baptist forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate

This is the way. Bravo.

Haha, oh sorry, I was on mute. I was saying I worry I’ve permanently worn down all the charming edges of myself that others didn’t like and I’ve become dull like a riverstone—and perhaps the only way to make new edges is to fragment into smaller and smaller pieces until nothing is left.

Depressingly well-made point.

Why don't you try not being a dumb jerk?

Fuck every one of those 86 idiots. JFC, what is wrong with these people.

Patton Oswald’s observation, that Megyn Kelly should be fed into a woodchipper feet first, is objectively correct. If you fed her in head first, she would die too quickly to suffer, suffering is what deserves for trying to distinguish between the propriety of raping a 15 yr old vs an 8 yr old.

“Of course he knew about the girls.” -Jeffrey Epstein

We're not fighting each other, we're all fighting you fucking losers; the ones with actual power you refuse to leverage against this obscene president.

Let them eat disposable plastic doodads.

how did Cuomo lose with pedophile Voltron (Trump, Musk, Clinton, Dershowitz, WOODY ALLEN) forming to endorse him

Bring the flavor to the rice

Tonight's even more proof the mainstream reporters who are still on Twitter are suffering from a brain problem akin Havana Syndrome that is preventing them from accurately doing their jobs. They are being cooked alive by a snuff-focused apartheid algorithm.

JD Vance when the fascists he enables come for his family

Not defending Platner, but this comparison just seems inapt.

I'd rather live next to a loud, hairy Greek who stood shirtless in his garden shouting about Ouzo and lemon potatoes than live next door to JD Vance.

I think any story about Trump's autocracy should be mostly about the people and institutions who failed to stop it. This guy isn't a political genius, everything else just happens to be rotten. 'Toddler Consolidates Power In Household' is a story about incompetent parents, not shrewd maneuvering

Stop voting to confirm his judges you clown.

I think “it’s not a fandom” is seriously the most important lesson for Americans to learn about politics.

I am voicing openness to offering Colin Jost a role as groomsman on the day I marry Scarlett Johansson in exchange for him dropping out of his current marriage. “That would be something I would be interested in,” I say.

Keir Starmer won’t tolerate racist hooligans being barred from Aston Villa’s stadium: defector.com/keir-starmer...

So you're saying he's... *lowers sunglasses, turns to camera* formerly known as prince

Hey Siri summarize the Trump era in a single interaction

No better example of this than his response to the Knicks Mets playoff question during the debate. Came off as completely natural, but that was a practiced move, made the audience laugh at the expense of his opponent.

<<pigpoopballs.meme>>

RETVRN

Facebook, seeing its tools used to promote a genocide in Myanmar: 🤷‍♂️ Facebook: seeing its tools used to prevent illegal abductions and violations of due process: 🤫

Jesus fucking Christ on a popsicle stick. NO. I DO NOT WANT THIS. NOBODY DOES. FUCK OFF.

Which Diane Keaton movie should I watch tonight?

Bloomfield ✊🏼Go Bengals

Apprendre à jouer du saxophone Je joue juste ce que je ressens Boire du scotch whisky toute la nuit Et mourir au volant Ils ont un nom pour les gagnants du monde Je veux un nom quand je perds Ils appellent l'Alabama la Crimson Tide Appelez-moi Deacon Blues, fuck

We made Jimmy Carter sell his peanut farm!!! It wasn’t always like this.