If I'm not mistaken, Adams is still on the ballot. You guys can just vote for him.

Hey, eat shit!

My wife has been watching The Summer I Turned Pretty, and the 79% it’s got on Rotten Tomatoes has me rethinking whether we actually need critics anymore.

It's true that the real-life shopping experience in America is rancid and demoralizing due to everything getting slashed to the bone, which is why I've made an AI video eulogizing, uhhh, Walmart?

Man, Markey could claim another centrist dipshit scalp here.

They should've called it Angle Wars, because there's some non-Euclidian geometry going on there.

they've been struggling to muster the forces for DC and CA and the border and ICE and i really don't think they got the horses for this to mean much

I did not vote for Abigail Spanberger.

Imagine sitting on this while presumably knowing who Genndy Tartakovsky is.

The 2010s were wild. You had people going up to other people and saying shit like "Have you heard the new Iggy Azalea song? It's so good!" and no one would get mad.

I responded to some dumbass Boston Market engagement post with a photo of someone fucking a frozen chicken.

These motherfuckers need to buried under the jail.

This is the funniest part of the artists for Israel letter:

just scored a roll of squirts from the us mint #coincollecting

Oh, they’re number two alright 🤼

Chairman Kaga just stuffed an entire pastry in his mouth here.

This is somehow even funnier than admitting the truth that Donald Trump is deathly afraid of stairs.

That's not any of my business.

Most of these Chotiner parodies suck

I wish anything loved me half as much as the Democrats love running back embarrassing losers.

Capcom should forget about all that Mega Man Battle Network garbage and give everyone what they really want: Mega Man Legends 3.

I mean, I get why they use that phrasing, but this is an instance where "No, that's stupid" would get better results.

If a call is important, they will immediately try again or leave a message. Everyone else can enjoy the screen.

A lot of people have spent a lot of time talking about the price of beef, but no one’s addressing the fact that lemons cost a whole goddamned dollar each now.

Hey Jude, Cum in your dad

A lot of people have spent a lot of time talking about the price of beef, but no one’s addressing the fact that lemons cost a whole goddamned dollar each now.

Really appreciating all the Dick Tracy (1990) content on the timeline lately.

Obama fuckin' sucked, Exhibit 56457651

GWAR should do Chaya next

Look, if it means they bring back the GWAR-B-Q, I’m all for it.

Couldn't have happened to a better dude:

Can you identify this film?

I was raised Catholic, so I believe that everyone who gets raptured actually goes to Hell for heresy.

No enrichment, only MBAs

What movie do you consider "perfect"?

Yeah, because if there's one thing that Republican politicians care about, it's how well they're polling.

Of all the dumbass Democratic tropes, the whole “I’ll appoint a Republican to the Cabinet” one is the dumbest. Those are important positions! Why would you voluntarily hand that much power over to your opponents?!?

very important picture

Alright, now they’re doing it on purpose

The Taco Bell menu is mid now.

This game was fun, but too short to be great.

Every new excerpt from Kamala’s book shows how naive I was for thinking that they ran the campaign they wanted. They wanted one that was so, so, so much worse.

Why is it that we always have to compromise our values for these freaks instead of the other way around?

Sun Shines on Dog's Ass