Joining the war on protein on the side of fiber

Yeah, dude, and those cops would give you candy and presents if you were a good boy or girl before riding off in their magical sleighs pulled by eight tiny reindeer

When you are grossly unqualified for your current job, but you got it anyway because you flatter power, buddy, you’ve been Dokou-pilled.

On the one hand, I’m personally bummed the Packers lost, on the other hand, my MAGA brother is almost certainly apoplectic about it, so I’m fine with it.

Grateful Dead fans are all conservatives now, so I hope this one fuckin’ hurts them.

Imagine waking up in the morning and realizing that you're JD Vance. You get up and get dressed for your job of being the world's second-biggest worm, all so that no one can take you seriously because your boss only listens to the world's biggest worm, whom you technically outrank.

they didn’t leak it to make the shooter look innocent, but to make the victim look guilty. not guilty of a crime. guilty of having a visibly queer wife. guilty of liberalism. guilty of opposing the regime. they don’t seek to exonerate themselves, only to demonstrate who deserves to die.

There honestly cannot be a satire cutting enough to make fun of Americans. What the fuck do you mean the highest colonial ideal you could imagine was a parking lot with McDonald's on both sides

It's embarrassing that fuckin' George Will has the best headline on that whole WaPo front page.

Hmmm, I keep hearing that ICE agents just need more training, though.

plain and simple: if you work for ICE, you should kill yourself

God damn america

Holy shit, let’s gooooooo

The story of 2025 was mostly “the media believes everyone has been waiting for permission to be a fascist and it turns out they were way way way off”

The KHive rules. An entire political persuasion that basically boils down to “LaRouchism for Millennials.”

The KHive rules. An entire political persuasion that basically boils down to “LaRouchism for Millennials.”

In the twenty years before he became the Pinellas County morgue’s most racist resident, Hulk Hogan looked like he was on the verge of death.

I can't wait for Chapo to read me his first deeply-closeted Free Press dispatch.

Then: Final Fantasy VIII Now: Final Fantasy VIII

LOL, apparently Scott Adams was taking ivermectin and other anti-parasite medicines to treat his cancer. Just a total doofus until the end.

Debate perverts love it when you engage with them substantively. It's better to hit them with the ad hom and watch them mald.

R. Sissy

rise and grind let's get this no down payment 35% apr 48 month lease ford camaro

R. Sissy

Incredible cowardice from Walz here, holy shit

Damn girl you had a baby with a pedophile for attention and money, that’s rough.

Holy shit, CNN is interviewing Elliott fucking Abram about Venezuela. It’s like interviewing David Berkowitz about the Son of Sam killings.

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier

the reason people sometimes act madder at democrats than republicans when republicans do impossibly evil shit is the same reason why, if you hired an exterminator to handle a roach infestation and he showed up to feed and play with them instead, your first instinct wouldn’t be to yell at the roaches

It’s impressive that it took three seasons before the Beavis and Butt-Head revival did Old Cornholio.

They’ve expressed great interested in cutting me a very fair deal on a bridge

Can we at least get an emo revival if we're doing the Bush years again?

The democrats have successfully betrayed the democratic voters on every issue and they still lost Because their prize—republican converts—did not exist

Days after his third dementia screening in six months the president of the United States, who is an open pedophile, abducts a foreign head of state

The last person I want to hear from today is Ana “I’m proud that my dad was a contra” Navarro.

I’m sorry, but if your favorite presidential campaign was touting a Dick Cheney endorsement, you don’t get to play the “this wouldn’t have happened if you voted for her” card.

Absolute clown shoe shit

No matter what the SocDem Blue Check style progrsssives will tell you, “America Bad” is and always has been a tenable starting position for your politics.

Sure there's war in Venezuela, but at least you can't afford health insurance.

This is so much dumber than Iraq. At least there we didn’t give Ahmed Chalabi a Nobel Prize.

It’s the most Democrat thing ever that this is the first public response from anyone in the party.

Big congrats to the Nobel Committee for awarding the prize "for her struggle to achieve a just and peaceful transition from dictatorship to democracy" just so she could immediately conspire with a foreign government to murder civilians on the high seas then invade and stage a coup.

Oh, hey, what a shitty thing to wake up to