Sometimes I realize I’ve been online since like 1992 or 93 and then I think “oh that’s what’s wrong with me”

the christ gpt bot said we could do whatever sins. he went on to say that he doesn’t even think about us that much. I didn’t even ask anything

paging @numetalmoment.bsky.social

(Premium users can also converse with Satan.)

Yes … meow meow meow … YES! Happy Friday from Dottie. I’ve always believed cats were Sickos … @theonion.com

Therac-2025

hell yeah

Growing up in a time when “selling out” was the most shameful thing you could do and then being forced to live through the 2020s feels like being kicked in the head by a horse every day

this record sucks, why did we buy it

these fuckin guys were eating kids weren't they

if you slide RFK Jr’s left eye up a door opens in the Resident Evil mansion

I don’t think my heart could stand finding out that Taco Bell and Walmart are just in it for the profit

we need to draw and quarter more people. that really fell off.

Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…

Good Grief

Funny prank: everyone becomes militantly communist very quickly

Same as it ever was

*horn flourish*

we gotta stop with the tiny microphones. get a full size mic like an ADULT. you look like you’re at tea with a mouse

He sleep

I’m so sorry

Big ups to the voters who kicked her ass out, if I talk like this to my friends they don’t snitch, they laugh and goad me on

He sleep

I bet I could wreck a Hobbit open palm slaps only no knuckles allowed. Just one well placed pop across the rosy cheek, thrown from the shoulder, and Pippin goes spinning to the dirt floor. Knock his fucking lights into The Age That Comes After.

on the flight back from shanghai to seattle in 2021 there was almost no one on the entire plane. there was a single guy who decided he wanted to wear a hazmat suit. we stretched across the four middle aisle seats and actually did luxuriate with the extra space

We need to go back to shaming sellouts. This is sellout shit.

Oh that? That’s The Motor. It never stops, even if everyone else’s power goes out. Nobody really knows what it does anymore, but legend says it was constructed when the sun still shone, and if we ever let The Motor stop, we’ll never even have a chance at seeing the sun again. I wouldn’t go near it.

did someone order another curse from etsy

I have 2 cats. One jumps into my lap and purrs. The other forces me into an elaborate ritual before I’m allowed the privilege of petting him. If at any time I break protocol he becomes displeased and either won’t speak to me at all or screams with indignity

if it were me, i would simply live my life in a way that doesn't make everyone surrounding me wish for my violent death

oh great he's mayor for two days and he's already opening portals. what's next, scrying with a mysterious orb?

I have 2 cats. One jumps into my lap and purrs. The other forces me into an elaborate ritual before I’m allowed the privilege of petting him. If at any time I break protocol he becomes displeased and either won’t speak to me at all or screams with indignity

IFTI is late this week because i spent last night libbing out

yo is that posterboard

if you see anyone expressing shock that a candidate who exudes warmth and authenticity and wants to improve the quality of life for working class people won over a rapist whose entire campaign was "that guys a terrorist" that's not a smart person. you don't have to listen to that person anymore.

Gonna be reading so many things today in the ALEXANDER EDWARD VOICE

Podcasts this week are gonna be fire

how do i get in touch with @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social to make weird jungle remixes of his raps

i just wish charlie was still here with us to see this, his neck might have actually just done that on its own if he did

Higher quality cos I'm a sicko

JEB BUSH WILL BE THE NEXT MAYOR OF #NewYorkCity, IT'S THE UPSET OF THE CENTURY, WE ARE WITNESSING A MIRACLE ON THE HUDSON, THIS IS THE BIRTH OF A NEW POLITICAL ORDER, THIS IS THE TURNING POINT WHEN #AMERICA STARTS TO HEAL #MiracleOnTheHudson

all these numbers are so embarrassing it's absolutely amazing

i go for walks every day and pass a single lonely campaign sign for earle-sears. last week i passed it and it looked like someone kicked the shit out of it. lol. lmao

i mean the flag here IS blue with a woman standing on a dead king