Thus far we are only two lines into The Body The Blood The Machine which tells me it’s gonna be a big summer

Is it good when the sun looks like a Sucrets

Most of the people I talk to on the phone at my job are in federal prison. You feel like a real asshole when you small-talk complain about the weather to a guy in a penitentiary. “It’s too hot outside” I say to a guy who is at minimum 16 months away from meaningfully experiencing outside

Objectively funny and the players enjoyed it. Post to facebook

The whole world is watching Philly this summer and Philly knows it

Steve Carlton has had enough!

It is wild that we let Netflix do this to us

I’ve been trying to look at BlueSky (and all social media, and my phone in general) a lot less lately and if I had not already done so this week would have been eight hundred days long, my word

A document type I’ve never noticed before popped up in district court as an option - Notice re: Certificate of Non-Use of Generative AI. I do not know what it is and haven’t seen a judge ask for it yet but perhaps some judges are mandating no GenAI-drafted filings? 👀

This was supposed to be attached to that btw

I know it is the train’s name or whatever but I’d really hate it if I died of heat stroke and the news was like “Awww whassa matter, you couldn’t handle the Big Boy train event?”

I wasn’t aware I would be subtweeted

I heard a reference to the White House correspondents’ dinner shooting and it took me a moment to place it. Like it was three months ago and nobody talks about it, just another dude trying to kill that guy lol

Currently engaged in mortal administrative assistant combat with somebody at a prison. I responded to her pitiful attempts to discourage me with some very pointed markup highlights on the institution’s policies, but I am prepared to escalate up to global thermonuclear war if necessary

Vacation is off to a great start!

If you enjoyed Widow’s Bay (as I did), please consider reading: HEX or DARKER DAYS by Thomas Olde Heuvelt BURIAL TIDE by Neil Sharpson THE SEPTEMBER HOUSE by Carissa Orlando Thank you for your attention to this matter!

I wish all local guerilla street artists a very Don’t Get Caught in the coming weeks

If you enjoyed Widow’s Bay (as I did), please consider reading: HEX or DARKER DAYS by Thomas Olde Heuvelt BURIAL TIDE by Neil Sharpson THE SEPTEMBER HOUSE by Carissa Orlando Thank you for your attention to this matter!

Does anyone track trends in indie medical conditions going mainstream? A few years ago every other pharma commercial was about plaque psoriasis or COPE, then wet AMD had a moment, now we’re CLEARLY moving into the eye mite era

I was caught by this paperback in my office library bc it looks like an alternate history thriller where Lenin and JFK team up to solve a murder. Please let me know what you think this should be about

Getting put on probation by rokos basilisk because I never used AI but I kick every delivery robot I see on the street

Converting to Catholicism so I can tell my bosses using unregulated AI is against my religion and I will sue them like that cake lady who hated gay people if they make me use it

She was a legend and I’m so lucky I got to love her

For the last few years I have had access to a vending machine that had somehow evaded the soda tax and I could get a 20 oz coke for a buck fifty but the man caught on. This is now a Grover Norquist stan account 😤

If I am on your website because my dog ate something and I asked if it’s poison and you’re setting up to reveal the answer like you’re Hercule Poirot and you’ve gathered me in a drawing room I should be allowed to grab you about the neck and pound you into the ground like a railroad spike

PHILLIES: We'd all like you to hit a home run, Alec! BOHM: [sulks] PHILLIES: Maybe tonight? Mm? BOHM: [sulks] PHILLIES: [throwing voice] DO YOU WANT TO HIT A HOME RUN FOR ELMO

Every single Phillies player should use this as their walk- up song. The park would go wild. The energy would be unbelievable. The couldn’t lose. youtu.be/nV6uRftA-hM?...

Oh PS in case it wasn’t clear, this is a bus shelter ad! It’s huge! I didn’t see if it was SEPTA or Philly tourism or some other Feansylvanids organization

It’s a big year for the city of Philadelphia as America celebrates her 250th birthday! People will visit from all over the world. What better way to celebrate than with AI slop versions of *extremely replicable things*

It’s a big year for the city of Philadelphia as America celebrates her 250th birthday! People will visit from all over the world. What better way to celebrate than with AI slop versions of *extremely replicable things*

Play the song lol wtf

Is it a coincidence that the Phillies won twice today and there is a gas leak on my block?

FORCE MAJEURE (2014) Dir. Ruben Östlund DoP: Fredrik Wenzel

They haven't told the players in the Thunder/Suns game yet (waiting for a break) but I'm hearing from reliable sources that the NBA isn't going to continue with the rest of the playoffs this year because the "vibes are bad" and "something feels off" so they're going to cancel the rest of the games.

I just thought to myself “What was that song I had stuck in my head so insidiously 6 months ago I couldn’t fall asleep some nights?” and then I PURSUED THAT THOUGHT. what the hell, brain

One of the “Geese are a PsyOp”threads on Reddit has devolved into an argument about time signatures, which is the Godwin’s Law of all musical discussions.

Nicole Kidman, sneaking into the room while we say goodbye to mom, whispering: Pretend I’m not heah

Generational discourse is astrology for political scientists, but it’s interesting to see vibes-based diagnoses of why Gen X votes conservatively and not data on who bought all those houses that got foreclosed on from 2008-2012

this is what teenagers in movies looked like during the iraq war

MYSTIC TAILOR: I make the heavenly sweatpants with my twin daughters. Gentle Seamstress Grizabella assembles the garment with thread made from a spider’s whisper ME: Rad, what ab- TAG ATTACHER BECKY: There is a secret song at the center of the world and its sound is like razors through flesh

My hairdresser had asked her ex to send her a picture of their kid at his baseball game today, and then she got annoyed bc the picture he sent her was AI generated. We live in hell!!!

TIRED: We live in Philip K. Dick World WIRED: We live in Paul Verhoeven world INSPIRED: We live in Jorge Luis Borges world

"To astronauts, don't come back from space! If you can hear me, Melania, don't come back. It is not real Earth. When you went around Moon, it changed, it is not real Earth now. Stay away, astronauts!"

Alito writing a majority opinion in the rendition case US v. Pontiff finding that an originalist reading of Unam Sanctam anticipates the supremacy of the American executive, including multiple AI hallucinations warning about a giant shark named The Melanchthon.

This headline immediately prompted the thought of an exciting remake

If this was in a scene in a Roland Emmerich movie you’d be like “dial it back guys lol”

Hey guys I know there’s a lot going on but I wanted to pop by real quick to share the thing that is steamrolling every other thought in my brain: what it would sound like if Rosie Perez said “Cthulhu” in White Men Can’t Jump

How a blind man made it possible for others with low vision to build Lego sets www.cp24.com/news/world/2...