Getting put on probation by rokos basilisk because I never used AI but I kick every delivery robot I see on the street

Converting to Catholicism so I can tell my bosses using unregulated AI is against my religion and I will sue them like that cake lady who hated gay people if they make me use it

She was a legend and I’m so lucky I got to love her

For the last few years I have had access to a vending machine that had somehow evaded the soda tax and I could get a 20 oz coke for a buck fifty but the man caught on. This is now a Grover Norquist stan account 😤

If I am on your website because my dog ate something and I asked if it’s poison and you’re setting up to reveal the answer like you’re Hercule Poirot and you’ve gathered me in a drawing room I should be allowed to grab you about the neck and pound you into the ground like a railroad spike

PHILLIES: We'd all like you to hit a home run, Alec! BOHM: [sulks] PHILLIES: Maybe tonight? Mm? BOHM: [sulks] PHILLIES: [throwing voice] DO YOU WANT TO HIT A HOME RUN FOR ELMO

Every single Phillies player should use this as their walk- up song. The park would go wild. The energy would be unbelievable. The couldn’t lose. youtu.be/nV6uRftA-hM?...

Oh PS in case it wasn’t clear, this is a bus shelter ad! It’s huge! I didn’t see if it was SEPTA or Philly tourism or some other Feansylvanids organization

It’s a big year for the city of Philadelphia as America celebrates her 250th birthday! People will visit from all over the world. What better way to celebrate than with AI slop versions of *extremely replicable things*

It’s a big year for the city of Philadelphia as America celebrates her 250th birthday! People will visit from all over the world. What better way to celebrate than with AI slop versions of *extremely replicable things*

Play the song lol wtf

Is it a coincidence that the Phillies won twice today and there is a gas leak on my block?

FORCE MAJEURE (2014) Dir. Ruben Östlund DoP: Fredrik Wenzel

They haven't told the players in the Thunder/Suns game yet (waiting for a break) but I'm hearing from reliable sources that the NBA isn't going to continue with the rest of the playoffs this year because the "vibes are bad" and "something feels off" so they're going to cancel the rest of the games.

I just thought to myself “What was that song I had stuck in my head so insidiously 6 months ago I couldn’t fall asleep some nights?” and then I PURSUED THAT THOUGHT. what the hell, brain

One of the “Geese are a PsyOp”threads on Reddit has devolved into an argument about time signatures, which is the Godwin’s Law of all musical discussions.

Nicole Kidman, sneaking into the room while we say goodbye to mom, whispering: Pretend I’m not heah

Generational discourse is astrology for political scientists, but it’s interesting to see vibes-based diagnoses of why Gen X votes conservatively and not data on who bought all those houses that got foreclosed on from 2008-2012

this is what teenagers in movies looked like during the iraq war

MYSTIC TAILOR: I make the heavenly sweatpants with my twin daughters. Gentle Seamstress Grizabella assembles the garment with thread made from a spider’s whisper ME: Rad, what ab- TAG ATTACHER BECKY: There is a secret song at the center of the world and its sound is like razors through flesh

My hairdresser had asked her ex to send her a picture of their kid at his baseball game today, and then she got annoyed bc the picture he sent her was AI generated. We live in hell!!!

TIRED: We live in Philip K. Dick World WIRED: We live in Paul Verhoeven world INSPIRED: We live in Jorge Luis Borges world

"To astronauts, don't come back from space! If you can hear me, Melania, don't come back. It is not real Earth. When you went around Moon, it changed, it is not real Earth now. Stay away, astronauts!"

Alito writing a majority opinion in the rendition case US v. Pontiff finding that an originalist reading of Unam Sanctam anticipates the supremacy of the American executive, including multiple AI hallucinations warning about a giant shark named The Melanchthon.

This headline immediately prompted the thought of an exciting remake

If this was in a scene in a Roland Emmerich movie you’d be like “dial it back guys lol”

Hey guys I know there’s a lot going on but I wanted to pop by real quick to share the thing that is steamrolling every other thought in my brain: what it would sound like if Rosie Perez said “Cthulhu” in White Men Can’t Jump

How a blind man made it possible for others with low vision to build Lego sets www.cp24.com/news/world/2...

Out on the road today I saw a Juggalo sticker on a Cadillac

When i read this for book club my first note was “is this author a libertarian?” and nothing in the book made me doubt it aside from the fact that libertarians usually announce themselves. Then there was a chapter in the space adventure book about intellectual property law which cemented my verdict

This is just a transcript btw, this isn’t me writing Phillies local broadcast fanfic. I could do that. I would be great at it. But this is just exactly the conversation they had on TV. I missed baseball

TMAC: You’ve been thinking over there KRUK: So IBX is Independence Blue Cross TMAC: Right KRUK: But is an X really a cross? TMAC: Well, it’s a symbol of a cross KRUK (incredulous): What religion? TMAC (laughing): The healthcare religion

On so many broadcasts Tom McCarthy tells Kruk what they will be eating or which one of them is doing the postgame show or when the next game is. Today he went over the forecast for the next week and said what they’d be wearing. Exactly like one would with a toddler

Every commercial on Tubi is either a woman breathlessly talking into the camera in that flat TikTok cadence about life insurance or a law firm that specializes in child support avoidance and DUIs

between grok and the alexa+ ads where the alexa is being kind of mean to the celebs, what the fuck is this obsession with getting "roasted" by a chatbot??? why are we under the thumb of the fucking friendless!!!!!!!!

Why does my office dish soap look like a Zack Snyder movie

if there's a hell for stupid people, I'm well on my way

An overconfident Team USA getting embarrassed by a much smaller country in front of a global audience is their last and most beautiful tribute to the American military yet

A-Rod keeps restating things like “When somebody wins a baseball game, the sad fact is somebody loses that game, too. And it isn’t as nice to lose as it is to win. So of course, the winners are happy. But the guys who didn’t win, they are sad because they didn’t win the game like they wanted”

I hope Schwarber has a good game and that Venezuela wins by thirteen

My favorite part of every WBC game broadcast is when they talk in-depth about each player’s lineage like they’re racehorses

This is an enormous step forward for women of people.

Also this is not just the result of an AI error, human beings in law enforcement and the courts had to also fuck up and/or not value human life dozens of times to keep this going for six months!

This was on Tuesday. I’m hearing it is snowing now but this picture, right here, it was taken on TUESDAY

Spotted this on a pole behind independence hall. I recently saw someone say they found collage to be the best way to work through things and I didn’t really see it at the time but

When things are real bad you gotta look for the guaranteed serotonin hits. My old reliables: - “Something simple as a crack pipe” or similar Eric Adams bangers - Dogs wearing shoes and refusing to walk normally - Random buttheads pitching their plan to get around the Strait of Hormuz

Sorcerer (1977), Dir. William Friedkin