Obligatory “any professional athlete isn’t shitty” especially in the opinion of me, a very clumsy weakling, but for whatever reason in 1993 my favorite Phillie was Pete Incaviglia. At twelve I was like “it takes all kinds and that’s beautiful”

I’ve been playing Katamari Damacy all weekend. I had forgotten how fantastic the soundtracks are. On “Katamari On The Rocks” for example the guy on bongos is playing out of his goddamn mind. It’s genuinely a delight to be reminded

I am watching CITIZEN X (1995) in which Max Von Sydow, as a psychiatrist interviewing a sexual sadist serial killer, says the word “ejaculated” about five hundred times in his two minutes onscreen, but which he pronounces “ejac-shoo-lated” every time

Magic Johnson is the grand marshal of the Rose Bowl Parade but it is raining so the roof is up on his convertible because I guess the duties of grand marshal do not include getting wet

It's been a while since I've had to do this: the other Bluesky Elders looked at the numbers and they're bad. Very bad. The site will simply not be able to make it to 2026 unless post quality & quantity drastically rise and that means everyone most post positively about the Philadelphia Eagles today.

“Rosie’s gotta think about her whole life before doing a karaoke version of Golden from KPop Demon Hunters”

I saw articles complaining about how people are going no-contact with their families but this year we hit exactly zero traffic on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day so I am all for it tbh, saved me hours

More than once I have come across documents from the DOJ where the redactions had not been applied properly in Acrobat, and that was before current management moved in. I can’t imagine mistakes were not made, is all

Any gambling app commercial makes me feel bad but the ones that advertise specific slot machine games are spiritually annihilating. “Draft Kings will let you have ten free spins of Princess Kitty’s Castle Cuddle, you pitiable little hogs, with offer code ESCHATON”

We always celebrate victories for the “___ Parade” community

Did Andrew Tate lose a boxing match? Sorry, I only follow authentic masculinity influencers,

More than once I have come across documents from the DOJ where the redactions had not been applied properly in Acrobat, and that was before current management moved in. I can’t imagine mistakes were not made, is all

I had never met a dog that does not prefer to barf on the carpet - does not, in fact, insist upon it

Did you ever see something so beautiful you can’t breathe

Wait I’ve been busy all day but I thought the hungry games announcement was an AI thing people fell for, I’m hearing this is not in fact the case? Why did I see it initially shared by something named FactsDotNewz or whatever?!

I will go to my grave screaming about how Pennywise being a clown hits completely different for anyone under 40 or 50, because the original intent was that Pennywise LOOKED HARMLESS, because “IT” predates scary clowns, & if the story were modern, Pennywise would manifest as a ninja turtle or Luffy

Genuinely curious: do you use different insults on yourself than you do the rest of the world? Like, if I have done something stupid, I would call myself “suchafuckin idiot” or “you dumb bitch,” but i tend to call another person “dumbfuck” (in my head like, I’m not abusing strangers)

I’ve never felt so alive as watching the very end of this. The sound I made, I could not even begin to describe

I died because in the MNF opening Snoop Dogg was rapping about football in an abandoned parking garage and they cut to his audience and it was all Monsters, Inc. monsters

🚨🚨🚨 MY SISTER’S OFFICE’S HOLIDAY PARTY WAS ALSO ON ZOOM FOR REMOTE EMPLOYEES AND THEY DID A MURDER MYSTERY GAME SET IN LONDON AND SOME PEOPLE TRIED TO DO BRITISH ACCENTS AND IT LASTED FOR TWO HOURS 🚨🚨🚨

“No, it’s just what the dish is called,” the receptionist insisted. It sounded like she had started crying. My eyes narrowed. I felt certain she was evading the question. I pressed her harder, very journalistically. “So you’re *not* alleging that a shrimp fried this rice?” I asked

🎶 Out on the road today, I saw a Go Birds, Dickhead sticker on a Hyundai Elantra 🎶

My entire Wrapped was like “you have the exact listening behavior of a fifty year old dad” and I wasn’t pushing back but I don’t think this is fair

I love this because the people who don’t really use computers are like “a magic spell to be a computer boy” and the people who use computers are like “a printer that actually fuckin works” and it’s been 40 years and that is still the dream

Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷

The Wonder Mike verse of Rapper's Delight where he just suddenly starts going off about how much the food at his friend's house just completely fucking sucks is a Thanksgiving song.

This is the ending you get if you 100% all collectibles and optional quests. Less than 2% of players have earned it

MTG isnt joining The View or running for president imo. She is gonna develop and teach her own brand of CrossFit karate to the Judy Gemstones of America

The bib pickup for the Philly marathon was at the Convention Center that is also hosting a board game convention, producing a delightful medley of different flavors of confused people who don’t know which entrance they’re supposed to use

This would have been peak Nicole Kidman territory, but I don’t know who could do it now. Who is in that overlap in the venn diagram between Dumb Bitch and Monsterfucker?

Which actress is going to sacrifice her natural eyebrows to play a reporter with demented taste in men who can’t stop compromising her ethics in a movie that will get nominated for 12 Oscars in 2028?

I wasn’t familiar enough with her work to have an opinion on her prose, or with her face to have an opinion on her attractiveness, but do we think maybe this is like John Hamm on 30 Rock, how he was hot so nobody ever told him he was wrong?

1. hey kid . i'm a computer 2. helpp computer. ? ? . 3 stop all thhe downloading ,

I love to get an email to take care of something annoying at 4:40pm, yell “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me” a few times while doing it, and when the person I did it for pops by to say “Sorry about the last-minute thing” reply in a way that makes me sound genuinely grateful for the challenge

I identify less with my astrological sign than I do with the way people describe my dog. Like, I guess I'm a Capricorn but I'm for sure "treat motivated."

they call it jury nullification and you’re hearing it more and more. people say you can’t, you can’t nullify, but juries say, stop us. it’s incredible really. can you believe it? jury nullification.

I got a nice shout-out at the staff meeting today but in the best way - the person shouting me out didn’t see me in the room so there was a non-directional little rill of applause and nobody looked at me! Ah, to be appreciated without being perceived

My American healthcare conspiracy theory is that every podiatrist is in the pocket of Big Wearing Sneakers Inside The House

Incredible postseason for perverts like me (free baseball is just good value)

When no one at the école noticed your work

What will the popular media landscape even look like now? This beloved institution has been around since before I was born, I guess, wow

This is a Hall of Fame post.

Sometimes I imagine showing an alien anthropologist an hour of primetime TV commercials and having them extrapolate what Americans are like. Gambling obsessives who all have cancer, smell real bad, dicks don’t work, can’t feel joy, our movies are pure dogshit. Look at my culture, dawg, etc

i see you're doing something online that you have effortlessly done 100,000 times. would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? would you like to use this ai tool? w

Started watching Columbo. This may be the greatest show ever made. My prior Columbo experience outside of pop culture osmosis is Peter Falk in Wings Of Desire. Wenders told us the truth: he was an angel.