what about when the robot girls get sent to a server farm upstate??

making a béchadel sauce and only women are allowed to taste it

sunday shotday with chase n the gang, did stab myself twice before it worked this week but i lived bitch

ptsd go brrr

londoners be like look at our iconic building it's called the shart

getting down on one knee and asking a twink if they'll do me the honour of getting in the fagbag with me

tramp stamp with my pronouns so if u misgender me while ur hittin it from the back ik its on purpose

adding a second trepan hole to get a cross breeze going

MILF (mutual i’d like to fuck)

the actual definition of hotness is you can say shit like POGGIES and girls will still wanna fuck uou

"Hey Mira, what were your intentions with that Elf again?"

too many train drivers get on the tannoy and talk like they're pilots

remember that one episode of doctor who where the doctor was made of cum

calling all my sober oomfs, looking for good nonalcoholic cocktails, specifically a margarita, anyone got any recommendations?

blocking someone for being just a tiny bit condescending on their first interaction with you is such a rush

yo i just met brian conley that was weird

dude who names his pussy jack the gripper

Not guilty of assault with a breadly weapon

it's weird having cis friends, they never see you and say damn girl your tits are looking bigger today

Y'all the holidays are basically cancelled for me. Without food stamps I can cook anything. My breakfast for the past week has been one spoonful of peanut butter with cinnamon. Things are bleak.

sorry everyone, it's time i came out and said it before this lie snowballs any further, i think white monster is kinda mid 😔

i have reached a point where i can do one (1) excellent form standard-issue pull-up, and not just several chin-ups, can i get one (1) W please

succubus - female demon that seduces men incubus - male demon that seduces women vengabus - non-binary demon that likes to party

At this point I'm like 99% into men 1% into women but knockout Italian woman with a jersey accent who knows cars and is mean to me activating the fuck out of that 1%

I might be gay but at least I like cyberbullying new followers

thats a lot of crashes

in my doctor who rewatch i was thinking huh maybe moffat is a better writer than rtd (and he is) but then i hit "amy is jumpscared with having to do childbirth and she gets to do nothing but talk about how the men in her life are cool" and yeah moffat has weird hangups i hate him

letting mamdani and his hot wife run a train on me thanks to free public transport

sent a cutting you out of my life message to my dad can i get a w

if andrew cuomo had been the democrat mayoral candidate and zohran mamdani was running as an independent, every time you brought up liking him you'd have libs screaming in your comments about splitting the left vote and how you may as well hand the republicans new york

if you live in louisville and have the means to help get them comped food or lodging, you absolutely should. if you know anyone who can, reach out.

sorry but when i was a little girl my mom wouldn't take me into the bras and panties section of the store and she would make me wait in the men's underwear section so i would just stare at these ripped headless torsos feeling warm and that's why i grew up to be a bisexual who's scared of women

asking for a reasonable accommodation at work for a full length mirror in my office so i can take better selfies to accommodate my transsexualism

umm i think we should be respectful to women let me be clear i am a feminist but milfs dude idk something about them has me thinking all sorts of disrespectful things like m'am let me go to the paint store with you when you repaint your kitchen i will be so patient just sit on my face after pilates

I hope every zionist is feeling suicidal today. I hope theyre at a 4 or 5 with a plan & intent

sadist dom tying you up with vibrators in and attached to various parts of your body while they ignore you to open packs of pokemon cards

squidgirl gf fucking me like "6 in the pink and 4 in the stink"

listening to sad lesbian music while i squat the weight of the earth

is it reasonable to not want people ducking under the bar you're squatting as you're mid-set or am i making impossible demands of the universe

soon:

today's vocal stim is "come along, bort" and "no, my son is also named bort"

unleashing a city-destroying monster on townsville so i have enough time to get absolutely railed by professor utonium

this is how i find out lol

hype hype hype hype

Bonus back too You’re welcome, lesbians and other assorted enjoyers

By popular request: arm

ur over 6'?? what r ur pronouns, fee/fi/fo/fum?