I come over and just do this in your living room till I'm asked to leave

girl with the big forehead reading this: I love you

the freaky yellow monkey from ape escape has gotta be on the sex offender registry

listen, no offense to Matt Damon but.... If I bought a zoo...? Heh.. one measly movie wouldn't even BEGIN to cover it...

collecting the different color pee types like pokemon

the physical pain at the dentist can be overcome. but. and this may just be very autistic of me. it's actually the noises that make me wanna claw my way through the office plaster

DUNGEON DEFENDERS 1 IS STILL GETTING UPDATED ????? 16 YEARS OF UPDATES???????

Don't stop your car near me this late at night I will blow your vehicle up with my brain

never understood the notion that calling someone an egg is "creepy and predatory". if ur cis and the worst thing that happens to u is that sometimes a trans person likens their pre-transition experience to your own and calls you an egg then you're probably doing just fine

is what soccer players have called foot-eye coordination

just remembered Justin Bieber is a zionist. the bit has been aborted

non-beliebers fuck off #bieberforever

what the fuck did it do that for

body mod slenderman: find my gauges

why aren't there more Always Masked Celebrities & Public Figures. I don't need to know what every single guy looks like

they should invent a hospital that doesn't take your dad away from you

is it normal to be deathly afraid you're going to be fired at any second every single day

My father's final message

hydrogen bomb vs 100 million coughing babies not so easy now is it

circumcising myself before sex like goku taking off the weighted gi #cutwarriors

when you have an uncut cock you actually have to sit on your bike in a different way as to not sit on the foreskin. it's important to point out. being circumcized makes biking easier

oohhhhhhh yeaa

so when the Atlanteans finally emerge from the sea to attack the earth-annihilating land dwellers we have to all promise to be really adult about it and not call them "Seamen" ok

nothing quite like a rich hoity-toity blonde anime girl laugh

imitation crab implies the existence of real crab. a silly notion

god that gto edit is so fucking good. it's ridiculous

I had... forgotten about fenced yards

is the dome itself her house or is the tree her house

you have to be loudly pro-pornography and you have to never shut up about it. you have to become the "they want to take away your freedom of expression vis-à-vis cocks and boobs" person to everyone you know. i'm sorry to say it but it's just how it is right now

bitch I dont play about kappa mikey

clint stardew valley redemption arc is gonna be fascinating to see

showing up to work vaguely lube scented

just found out a girl I tried very vaguely to be irl friends with back in 2022 has since detransitioned and is now a self-proclaimed "Israelite Femboy". like inconceivable levels of falling off

hydrogen bomb vs 100 million coughing babies not so easy now is it

dude. imagine like a fucking ripped ass huge ass dragon. He's breathing fire and shit.fuck yes

do aim trainers actually work at all. do people really use those

alex vause from oitnb always had vriska serket energy to me

everyone always asks how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood but no one ever asks why much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood

what if the hoes like being scared

if Hot Dog Princess were my wife... oh where do I even begin

gamer girl finds her true love

they're putting "mains Princess Peach in smash" as a symptom of bpd in the dsm

probably my least favorite part about gay sex is when you have to put the penis inside the other penis. like ugh. okay let's just get this over with 🙄

forgive the crude illustration i made it in like 2 minutes

RAINYHEART GRAND OPENING: HAPPY WALK ~ march 13 - 15 ~ more info: rainydew.net/happywalk

in 2011, thomas the tank engine mods for Skyrim were like the funniest shit you could imagine. times were simpler

asked boyfriend to slap me as hard as he could cause I was curious and he broke off a chunk of one of my canines fhdjcjdjfjdjnvkdofjf

something that's kinda hard to get across through text but something I think you all should know is that I'm literally this 🤏 tall